Would you be annoyed by this or am I being unreasonable?

[Nmiddleofnowhere]

DH has bought something for the house without mentioning it to me and I am honestly a bit annoyed.

It was about £40 so its not like he's gone mad or anything but its something we absolutely did not need and I would have rather the money went towards other things tbh.

I only found out because the parcel turned up and when I asked what it was he said he'd ordered it a couple of days ago. I said I wish he'd mentioned it first and he said why, its hardly a big purchase and he doesn't ask me before buying things for himself.

I do see that point but I don't really think its the same when its something for the house? Especially when we've got other things coming up that we need to pay for.

I am not saying he needs to ask permission every time he spends money btw. If he wants to buy himself something with his own money then obviously thats different. But if its coming out of our joint account for something that is basically unnecessary then surely its reasonable to discuss it first?

He thinks I'm being controlling and making an issue out of nothing.

AIBU?

They're awesome so it's £40 well spent!

Yabu. Use it instead of the tumble dryer. Cheaper and better for the environment and yes you are controlling

Where did he get it from because I’d like one of them. I thought they were more expensive.

What a bastard.

In the same week we get informed on another energy hike, he goes and spends £40 on a cheaper way to dry clothes than a tumble dryer.

They walk amongst us.

As long as we could afford it is wouldn't care.
I buy loads of little bits for the house without running it by him. Id be a steaming great hypocrite if I objected to him doing it.

Are you really struggling with money or something?

(Although it sounds as though you use a tumble dryer so you can’t be that hard up)

You sound very controlling.

I’d love to know where it’s from , been looking for one for ages. £40 is a bargain

I have a feeling you wouldn’t have run a £40 house purchase by him.

Do people really discuss £40 things for the house?

I don’t police everything my dh orders and he doesn’t police mine . Thank god. I’d go insane if he gave out to me for spending 40 quid without consulting me . But we both earn our own money

He said it'll save on drying costs and that we'll use it loads over winter but I think he just saw it online and fancied it.

Sorry what? You think he 'just fancied it'? Because of all the fun and hijinks he's going to have with him new clothes airer? If it was a ride-on lawnmower when you live in a flat I could see your point, but I think on this one he really did have practicalities first and foremost in his mind.

There are loads on Amazon for less than £40 with covers.

Seriously? A discussion over a £40 item?
Do discussion everything you purchase for the house?

hes a grown man ffs! I’m constantly buying stuff for the house never crosses my mind to tell dh especially for 40 odd quid.

OP, he bought something really useful that will save a lot of money over the winter. You'd think he'd bought cocaine or something and was refusing to share!

Stop trying to control him. He has every right to spend some money, as long as he's working.

Oh gosh I bought an obnoxious light shade for the bedroom for £100 yesterday and didn’t run it by DH, so I have not a leg to stand on!

I wouldn’t mind if he’d spent £40 on something like a clothes airer, that’s quite helpful and thoughtful.

i’d be happy he’d got something useful

Poor guy he should be able to spend £40 especially as it’s something useful!

I honestly think you are being ridiculous (unless you are absolutely poverty stricken ) Those airers are cheap and cheap to run.

I would bet good money that most women routinely buy things for the house without even thinking about discussing it with their husbands,

Oh come on. Its hardly like he just really really fancied getting himself a heated airer is it. Jesus wept, if he did it must be great fun in your house 🙄. He's probably seen it and thought it was a huge bargain ( it is, they usually start at more than twice that) and that it's something youd use a lot (it will be. lots of things cant go in the tumble dryer and its a pain drying them in Winter and its really economical. We use ours pretty much daily). Really dont get what your problem is.

In general, my partner can spend his own money on what ever he likes as long as he meets his share of the bills.

However, a heated dryer I'd be disgruntled as I already spend ages dealing with condensation on the windows and mould in the house. Surely these things increase moisture in the home unlike a tumble dryer which costs more to run but vents the moisture outside.

Absolutely. I also bet that if the roles were reversed and it was a husband cross at his wife spending £40 on a household item there would be a lot more people seeing this for the controlling behaviour it is.

Same! Well worth £40!

My partner and I would both be annoyed if either of us spent ~£30+ on something for the house or if it was bigger than a shoe box without talking it through. It's not the cost or a control thing it's a courtesy thing. It is our house, it's our money, I don't want it clutter with things we won't use and don't need. On the flip side we are both prone to over researching and would look into the right heater for our needs or what is the right thing for drying our washing. We both also are passionate about reduce, reuse, recycle and we do our best to find solutions that doesn't result in an impulse purchase.
We have a joint Amazon account and there are very few things that get ordered that the other doesn't know about and agree to get

Definitely. It would honestly never occur to me to ask DH before I bought something for the house - I regularly buy bedding, blankets, bits and pieces for the kitchen or whatever without even mentioning to him.