Friend’s reaction to my pregnancy news

[sarahjane7777]

Hi everyone,

I’m seeking some perspective here because I can’t tell if I’m being unreasonable or not.

I have a group of friends from university, we all ended up across the country. We stay in contact everyday through a WhatsApp group and meet up regularly.

I have been battling infertility for three years now. They are aware, and have always supported me. After a long IVF journey with multiple losses, I am now 17 weeks pregnant with a baby boy.

I had wanted to wait until our next weekend away to tell everyone, but the way it fell just meant I would be nearly 30 weeks. So I decided to text them the news after a private scan today.

One friend immediately responded with “oh I’m so glad to hear that, it’s just the news I needed because I’ve been having a rotten week”, and she then went on to explain why it had been so bad - a hospital admission, work stuff, etc etc.

Nobody else responded and instead started asking her how she was etc.

AIBU to have my nose a little out of joint with that? It’s just really upset me

She turned your positive news into a whinging session about herself which ended up overshadowing your amazing news. She’s the one at fault.

Does she have form for making everything about herself?

I'm sorry OP. I agree she should have just said that's amazing and not made it about her. Congratulations 😊

She's at fault but the others are awful, too. That's such brilliant news - why can't they just be happy for you?

Everyone else should have congratulated you how many people are in the group?

what wonderful news! Congratulations! 🎉🎉🎉 x

Maybe she really did just have a terrible day and got a bit self absorbed. It happens, don't sweat it.

You do also get a bit self-absorbed when you are pregnant (not saying this in a negative way, i was the same) but reality is that for everyone else it's not as big of a deal. You'll realise it in a few years.

Why single her out? At least she expressed happiness for you. The others said nothing at all. That's not on her.

I think you’ve made my day etc was a lovely response. Weird that the others just focused on that but just send another message say “ Oi big news, a baby! I need WAAAAY more attention “

Congratulations 🥳🥳

What a bunch of nobs.

It just feels a bit cheap. Like she’s only happy she can talk about herself

I’d be more cross with the others! They could still congratulate you whilst expressing concern for her. Sounds like she needs support too.

They don’t sound like friends to me. Do you have other friends who will be happy for you?

Congratulations, it’s lovely news. Don’t let anyone spoil it.

Well she’s still the only one who actually congratulated you….

Congratulations, OP! A baby boy! :)

I would ignore the group chat for a while. Your friends sound rather immature and I suspect some of them may contact you individually at some point with their congratulations.

Congratulations!! Fantastic to hear.

Your friend sounds self absorbed, and I’m surprised the others in the group haven’t reacted to your (fantastic!) news and allowed her to over shadow your very special announcement.

I’m not sure how I’d react, but I’d feel disappointed in them too.

Wtf, what kind of friends are these. Your story made me smile. CONGRATULATIONS! I don’t know you and am delighted for you x

Any chance everyone else has not seen your message as it’s been followed up by selfish waffle?

It is a bit self centred to start talking about herself, however she did congratulate you, and a hospital admission is quite a big deal… so she gets marked down a little for me.

However everyone else who didn’t respond at all is much worse for me!

Depends on how your group chat works but normally if I want to make an announcement or invitation I’d get the “how are you / how are things?” out of the way first to avoid this kind of situation where someone else in the group is sick / had bad news / bereavement etc and that overshadows the news or invite.

It’s constantly going. The conversation never really ends

How inconsiderate of her, and the other friends are even worse.

You shared your happy news and she made it all about her and when others joined in to ask how she was she didn’t remind them that the original reason for the messaging wasn’t about her? Frenemy. Bin.

She is very much like this though. Always talking about herself.

Just address it face on. If they’re friends they’ll step up, if not they’ll bitch about it.

Congrats! Some people just can’t let anyone else get five minutes of attention. I have a friend like this, anything you say turns into something else for her to make about herself.