@Turtleneckhead OP, this isn’t about video games anymore. This is about how he treats you. You’re not unreasonable. You’re not imagining things. You’re not “treating his children like a burden”. You’re living with a man who shuts you down, twists your words, and makes you doubt your own reality. Let’s go through what you’ve posted.
You’re doing the parenting. He’s doing the hobbies. His kids may be asleep when he goes out, but you are still the adult responsible for them. You’re stuck in the house four nights a week because he chooses hobbies over family life.
That’s not “you knew what you were getting into”. That’s him opting out and leaving you to cover the basics. And when you raise it, he accuses you of treating his children like a burden. That’s not fair. That’s not kind. That’s not what a partner says. It’s a tactic to shut you up.
He weaponises the children to avoid accountability. When you say you want couple time, he turns it into “You don’t see my children as family.” That’s not a misunderstanding. That’s emotional manipulation. He’s using his children as a shield to avoid talking about the real issue: he doesn’t make time for you.
He’s rewriting reality to make you doubt yourself. You say you don’t enjoy gaming. He says “Playing games together is like watching a film.” It isn’t. He knows it isn’t. He’s trying to convince you that his hobby = quality time. Then he flips it into “You don’t think we’re connected. That hurts me.” That’s classic guilt‑tripping. He’s making your unmet needs into his emotional injury.
This is why you feel confused. This is why you feel unreasonable. This is why you’re doubting yourself. Because he’s actively distorting the conversation.
He mocked your stutter. This is the biggest red flag of all. Mocking a partner’s stutter isn’t “immature”. It isn’t “stress”. It isn’t “a slip”. It’s cruel. It’s disrespectful. It’s demeaning. It’s the kind of behaviour that tells you exactly how little he values your feelings. A man who loves you does not imitate your stutter during an argument. Full stop.
He’s 32 not 17. He’s old enough to parent his children, maintain a relationship, share responsibilities, communicate like an adult and treat you with respect. Instead, he’s choosing escapism, hobbies, gaming, avoidance. guilt‑tripping, twisting your words and mocking you. This isn’t immaturity. This is a pattern.
TTC with him would leave you doing everything. You already stay home with his kids, carry the emotional load, initiate all couple time, get blamed when you ask for connection, get guilt‑tripped when you express needs, get mocked when you’re upset, Add a baby to that? You’d be parenting alone while he games and goes out four nights a week.
He’s not ready for another child. He’s not ready for the relationship he’s already in. You are nothing more than his kids Nanny and housekeeper, you deserve more.
OP, you’re not unreasonable. You’re unheard. You’re not controlling. You’re not selfish. You’re not “treating his kids differently”. You’re a woman asking for a couple of hours of connection, shared responsibility, basic respect, not being mocked, not being guilt‑tripped and not being emotionally manipulated. These are normal needs. Healthy needs. Reasonable needs. He’s making you feel like they’re outrageous because it suits him.
You’re not wrong. You’re waking up. And that’s why you feel confused, because you’re starting to see the gap between what he tells you and what’s actually happening. You’re not an idiot. You’re not overreacting. You’re not imagining things. You’re finally seeing the truth.
I don't think this is what you signed up for and you have clearly given it your all but sadly it takes two to tango and he is not dancing, You know this is not right and if you need your feelings validated, I suspect you will get oodles on here.