Dh says the U.K is f***** and he never wants to go back

[Chippednailtoepolish]

These were his words this morning.

We live abroad in a place where a lot of people are coming to live, escaping the uk and America.
He says with everything on the news, the way it's going and what the people coming to where we are tell him, that we'd be mad to return.
Is he being realistic? I want to return to be with family desperately and have a strange feeling that I need to do it soon

Would we be mad to return at this time? If yes, then when!

Says it all really.

Why not google facts rather than news

its on the news because its shocking not everyday experience

Stay away. Its a third world shit hole now and getting worse

I lost count of how many times I got stuck in the middle of nowhere due to "signal failure".

The infrastructure is very obviously collapsing due to decades of underfunding.

I don't know why I'm bothering because cognitive dissonance is too strong to argue with, but:

1. Migrants arriving: 405 last week into a population of 69,500,000
2. British nationals account for 75% to 85% of all rapes
3. I live in a major UK city - have an NHS dentist within walking distance, as do my whole family, and have accessed the NHS several times over the last couple of years - whenever needed. Had a successful life saving operation in 2021.
4. Home ownership is a problem, but this is due to under-building, rise in single person households, older people living in bigger houses and buy to let / second home ownership
5. Please name this mythical village? The villages round by me are overwhelmingly white.
6. The police where I live are wonderful and very visible, they do cuppa with a copper, one of the police officers recently gave me a call back just because i'd seen someone who looked a bit dodgy (they were white by the way) in the back lane.
7. You are generalising isolated incidents - I can easily give you isolated incidents that prove the opposite

I agree with dh.if i could figure out leaving i would be off like smelly milk

I personally don’t agree with your husband but I guess it depends on your financial situation and where you live in the UK. So if you want to return don’t let your husbands opinion stop you. Presumably he wants to stay put? What news is he talking about? Every country has its problems.

Bot.

All assertion, no evidence.

I live in Cornwall and would not choose to travel on a Friday in peak summer season. I have no doubt people can find negative stuff about anywhere but the UK is a big country and if you have money and a job you will find somewhere nice to live.

in recent years I have started to feel similar feelings to your husband in respect of the UK. Am fortunate enough to have a career, decent salary, our own home. We live in a beautiful village where crime rates are low and where it is on the whole safe to raise our children. Schools are fine.

But our nearest city is so run down. The streets are filthy, there are huge issues with litter. I wouldn’t feel safe walking there at night now and I wouldn’t want my daughters to. We have huge problems with drugs and alcohol to the point that I’m embarrassed by tourists coming and seeing what the city has become - lots of shops have closed too. It’s a mess. It didn’t feel or look this way 30 years ago.

The cost of living is atrocious - increasing by the day. We have to import our fruit and veg for much of the year so I feel like we are paying for substandard items.

editing to add - public transport is shite and so expensive!!

I could probably go on. But equally I know that much of the above could most likely be said about many other countries. I genuinely don’t know if it would be better, for example, in mainland Europe.

UK is a tiny country 😂

I think this is a false equivalence. Most people moan about immigration due to the cost to the tax payer for providing a accommodation and potentially welfare down the line. When Brits go abroad they usually choose countries where they have to self support or they can’t live there. I’ll admit I don’t know the rules when it comes to Spain. I know Australia and New Zealand are very strict on making sure they only accept people who are financially able to support themselves.

You're right, it is a false equivalence because the people you are describing come to the UK because they're fleeing war and persecution, and the Brits going abroad are economic migrants - the thing that people in the UK complain about the most.

I agree with this. We live on the outskirts of a beautiful city. There are less desirable areas in every region of the UK whether that is within a city or in more rural areas.

Please. Some of the people coming are fleeing war. Some of them are criminals. Some of them are economic migrants and some of them are trafficked into sex work/looking after cannabis houses/working forever in the black economy to pay off their debt.

When Brits go abroad it’s usual as a result of a desirable skill set or retirement/travelling. That’s why no one is particularly pissed off by Germans or Australians living here. They are rarely living off benefits and flying in twenty family members.

Why do you want to return OP? If it's solely because of your extended family in the UK, could you travel over more frequently or have them visit you? Do you have other reasons for wanting to leave Portugal/Spain? Do you enjoy your life where you are, do you and your family have a good life there?

Have you spent much time in the UK recently? Have your UK family spent much time visiting you, what do they think of the place you live in, do they think it's better or worse than life in the UK?

It appears your Dh is set on staying so now you have to decide what you really want.

It didn't come across that way at all, felt defensive and a bit intense, but no idea why. It was ok as in just calm a little, no ill intent.

Exactly, we both work hard, fairly good wages for the country, pay a lot of tax, have a mortgage, pay bills, food, car, insurance and so on.

Lived experience = anecdotes and opinion. Which isn't very convincing.

Again: if she moves back to the UK, how will anyone know she lived abroad unless she chooses to tell them.

Spiteful schadenfreude over an imaginary future for the OP which would never happen.

1.Gross long-term immigration ranged from around 500,000 to over 800,000 per year in recent periods, reaching a peak of nearly 900,000 arrivals in 2022 before dropping to 813,000 in the year ending December 2025

In a population of 69.5m, that's 1.2% of the existing population coming in every single year.

And that underestimates the demographic change, since those gross immigration numbers include an estimated average of 150,000 to 250,000 British nationals who have emigrated from the UK annually over the past two decades.

Approximately 19% of the UK population was born outside the UK.

20 years ago it was only 9.1%

2.No. 73% of individuals convicted of rape and sexual assault in recent Ministry of Justice data are recorded as United Kingdom nationals. But that doesn't mean they are British born.

So... 91% of the UK hold British nationality. And that 9% who don't hold nationality are committing 27% of the rapes. Not looking so good...

And that's ignoring the differences in conviction rates between British born UK citizens and those who have acquired nationality. Good luck getting those numbers out of our government!

They won't even willingly release information about nationality of criminal conviction statistics (despite the Information Commissioner's Office ordering it) let alone nationality at birth! The truth is way too incendiary.

3.Lucky you. Only 52% of the population have an NHS dentist. NHS care has also become very patchy.

4.Underbuilding... well yes, compared to the 15% increase in population since 2005! Infrastructure (schools, hospitals, rail, roads) have also not increased to reflect that extra 15%, which is why everything is so stretched.

5.The pp is presumably referring to Piddington, where 1250 undocumented male immigrants are being moved to a barracks (with freedom to go in and out as they please) right beside the village of 286 adults and 46 children.

6.How lovely for you. The police were completely useless in 2 recent crimes against my family members. We got a crime number. Great.

Burying your head in the sand doesn't change reality.

The uk is a much nicer place to live if you both have a job that pays well. Otherwise hell no.

We have been it the OPs position. Once you live outside the uk, you see a lot more clearly its problems.

The huge underinvestment during the conservation will not be possible to remedy. We made the choice to settle in my husband's country - northern europe. We are very happy with our decision and can never move back anyway due to brexit and new immigration policies.

I’m in Dubai visiting and that’s pretty much the consensus here. And I’ve got to admit they’ve got a point. My eldest DD lives here and my middle dd is chomping at the bit to move here but I have a business in the uk I can’t move.

I live semi rural and I ^love* my little home so I’d be sad to leave as uk is actually a very beautiful place.

People living overseas often say that kind of thing, after seeing snippets in the news. The reality is most people are living perfectly happily in the UK and would never contemplate leaving. The town I work in probably has one of the worse reputations in the UK, but i’ve worked there for 25yrs (live a good 10 miles away, very different) and i’ve never felt unsafe there during the day. A colleague from another region once told colleagues to come in pairs and I did laugh.

I don't think the UK is "fucked" in relation to crime. I think the way some incidents and patterns of offending is reported by traditional media and on social media makes it seem like there are gangs of youths and foreign men roaming the streets picking off children and terrorising communities. But most people live settled, comfortable and safe lives and don't experience anywhere near the level of crime that your DH seems to think is widespread.

Personally I would not raise a child in Cornwall longer term - crime is probably fairly low, at least out of season, but the lack of variety in opportunities (university, jobs, access to cities and diverse communities) would be a factor although it would be nice for a few years in the pre-teen era with beaches, countryside etc on hand I am sure.

London and other cities in the UK are generally safe, clean and well run. There are obviously pockets all over the country which have longer term deprivation and probably would be best avoided, and everywhere has its issues that need working on. My large commuter village is currently embroiled in debates about the roadworks to build a new cycle path and people moaning about rubbush collections. Hardly the Bronx!

Your DH has selectively chosen to listen to the opinions of idiots and clearly has limited critical thinking skills of his own if he thinks the whole country is fucked and Spain is immune to the same issues

Agreed it is pathetic and uneducated.