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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Dh says the U.K is f***** and he never wants to go back

635 replies

Chippednailtoepolish · Yesterday 14:55

These were his words this morning.

We live abroad in a place where a lot of people are coming to live, escaping the uk and America.
He says with everything on the news, the way it's going and what the people coming to where we are tell him, that we'd be mad to return.
Is he being realistic? I want to return to be with family desperately and have a strange feeling that I need to do it soon

Would we be mad to return at this time? If yes, then when!

OP posts:
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9
Flamingojune · Today 06:46

AnonyMumAuDHD · Yesterday 22:17

Mentioned above already - I am aware as have used them - London/Truro for 2 adults and 2 children is @£350. Hence most people get in their cars.

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Easy to get cheap tickets and cars aint free

Strawberrymilkshakez · Today 06:55

I think the world seems af different place not just Britain. There is plenty of places I wouldn’t want to live. Yes there are many people accessing the country but a bigger issue may be the reform voters/protesters on some areas the flags flying are shouting racism to me.
schools yes the education system needs an overhaul due to its one size fits all mentality but I feel my children are safe compared to other countries.
Housing is expensive. Land is being built on but if you choose your area wisely it is doable.
it may help if a prime minister actually stays instead of being bullied out.
it may help if you tell us the positives of where you live in comparison.
What is important to some is different to others. My dh is not English and wouldn’t return home due to it not being as safe as here.

HRTQueen · Today 06:57

Things are not great here at the moment the biggest concern for me is our healthcare system which is dire for a country with so much money around

I think we have a few more difficult years ahead but it’s not as though there isn’t money here it’s just how it’s spent and managed

things will improve here we are not at war, we have good infrastructure just so much needs investment and work done rather than plans being made but right now it’s not great

Ubertomusic · Today 07:00

superchick · Today 06:05

I don't think the UK is "fucked" in relation to crime. I think the way some incidents and patterns of offending is reported by traditional media and on social media makes it seem like there are gangs of youths and foreign men roaming the streets picking off children and terrorising communities. But most people live settled, comfortable and safe lives and don't experience anywhere near the level of crime that your DH seems to think is widespread.

Personally I would not raise a child in Cornwall longer term - crime is probably fairly low, at least out of season, but the lack of variety in opportunities (university, jobs, access to cities and diverse communities) would be a factor although it would be nice for a few years in the pre-teen era with beaches, countryside etc on hand I am sure.

London and other cities in the UK are generally safe, clean and well run. There are obviously pockets all over the country which have longer term deprivation and probably would be best avoided, and everywhere has its issues that need working on. My large commuter village is currently embroiled in debates about the roadworks to build a new cycle path and people moaning about rubbush collections. Hardly the Bronx!

Your DH has selectively chosen to listen to the opinions of idiots and clearly has limited critical thinking skills of his own if he thinks the whole country is fucked and Spain is immune to the same issues

London is not clean and has not been well run for ages. The centre is now becoming inner city proper, homeless people are everywhere.

Pange79 · Today 07:00

strawberrybubblegum · Today 04:21

1.Gross long-term immigration ranged from around 500,000 to over 800,000 per year in recent periods, reaching a peak of nearly 900,000 arrivals in 2022 before dropping to 813,000 in the year ending December 2025

In a population of 69.5m, that's 1.2% of the existing population coming in every single year.

And that underestimates the demographic change, since those gross immigration numbers include an estimated average of 150,000 to 250,000 British nationals who have emigrated from the UK annually over the past two decades.

Approximately 19% of the UK population was born outside the UK.

20 years ago it was only 9.1%

2.No. 73% of individuals convicted of rape and sexual assault in recent Ministry of Justice data are recorded as United Kingdom nationals. But that doesn't mean they are British born.

So... 91% of the UK hold British nationality. And that 9% who don't hold nationality are committing 27% of the rapes. Not looking so good...

And that's ignoring the differences in conviction rates between British born UK citizens and those who have acquired nationality. Good luck getting those numbers out of our government!

They won't even willingly release information about nationality of criminal conviction statistics (despite the Information Commissioner's Office ordering it) let alone nationality at birth! The truth is way too incendiary.

3.Lucky you. Only 52% of the population have an NHS dentist. NHS care has also become very patchy.

4.Underbuilding... well yes, compared to the 15% increase in population since 2005! Infrastructure (schools, hospitals, rail, roads) have also not increased to reflect that extra 15%, which is why everything is so stretched.

5.The pp is presumably referring to Piddington, where 1250 undocumented male immigrants are being moved to a barracks (with freedom to go in and out as they please) right beside the village of 286 adults and 46 children.

6.How lovely for you. The police were completely useless in 2 recent crimes against my family members. We got a crime number. Great.

Burying your head in the sand doesn't change reality.

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This. People living in 'naice' areas are completely unaware of what is actually happening. Also add in lack of free speech (over 12,000 people arrested in 2023 alone) and the attempts of the government to reintroduce blasphemy laws by the back door (even if they know they won't get a successful prosecution and will drop case shortly before hearing). I've joined the FSU and the cases on their weekly newsletter are eye opening. I agree with your husband- if I could find a viable way out whilst keeping kids happy I would!

AgentKim · Today 07:05

I think most countrys are having the same trouble as we are especially in Europe and America. Its not just the UK.
Comeback and leave him as he will never be happy here.

Sussexserpents · Today 07:23

canuckup · Yesterday 20:20

Great thread op. 400 comments in and you still haven't said where you live now.

There's a big difference Canada Vs Sudan, for example.

Attention seeking drip feeding

Rtft and get off your high horse. She said Spain/portugal

NorthernBelles · Today 07:27

We left the UK last year and now live in a wonderful part of the world. I didn’t realise what I was missing until we moved here. I was in the UK for a visit this month and it seemed so run down, public services a mess. I’m interested to hear from people who moved back after living abroad for a bit , if anyone joins the thread who had that experience.

tamade · Today 07:28

I moved abroad 8 1/2 years ago. I miss my sister and father, niece and nephew I am conscious that my son and my UK family are missing out on really knowing each other and bonding.
But I believe that the opportunities we have where we are are not available in the UK. I have thought about 'what's next' after I get bored of my current role or they get bored of me and honestly it does not involve going back to UK or even anywhere in the Anglosphere or EU. The whole lot seem to be in decline and the citizenry are enduring lower living standards. I don't see any politicians with the ideas or weight to turn it around, so IMO things will continue to decline.

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