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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Dh says the U.K is f***** and he never wants to go back

635 replies

Chippednailtoepolish · Yesterday 14:55

These were his words this morning.

We live abroad in a place where a lot of people are coming to live, escaping the uk and America.
He says with everything on the news, the way it's going and what the people coming to where we are tell him, that we'd be mad to return.
Is he being realistic? I want to return to be with family desperately and have a strange feeling that I need to do it soon

Would we be mad to return at this time? If yes, then when!

OP posts:
Thread gallery
9
ukgone2pot · Yesterday 14:57

Do you want to return for good? Are you comfortable financially? Any DC?

I think there are lots of factors to consider in this equation.

Monvelo · Yesterday 14:58

I can't really say if I agree with your husband or not without knowing in what way he thinks it's fucked.

Thundertoast · Yesterday 15:02

Honestly?
Depends how well off you are and what he considers as 'fucked'

poetryandwine · Yesterday 15:02

What are his objections? Where is he getting his news?

YANBU, definitely. If I were in your shoes and if I loved DH, my first concern would be whether he has lost touch with reality. I would worry that his news is being filtered through extremist sources - right wing, left wing, or both - and he had lost his powers of critical assessment.

Is this a possibility?

Isthisright220 · Yesterday 15:02

Dubai by any chance?

j mean, he’s not wrong. Public finances are at zero and it’s clear we will all be taxed more in a few months.

randomchap · Yesterday 15:03

Where do you live now? Is that fucked too?

My money is on the middle east somewhere

Firetreev · Yesterday 15:03

It's not fucked. There is a lot Britain bashing going on at the moment especially amongst Americans, it's practically become an industry for those on the MAGA right. The country has a lot of problems, but if we work together and don't allow ourselves to be divided I do think things can be improved. It's giving in to division and hate which will lead us into the gutter as those who seek to divide us (whether it be by class, sexuality, religion, race, left or right) don't actually want things to get better. In fact they're livelihoods rely on it getting worse.

bananaobama · Yesterday 15:04

Yep, dont come back. We only want people who have a positive attitude to our country

bananaobama · Yesterday 15:04

Is that you Meghan? 🤣

beaglescurleduplikebagels · Yesterday 15:05

I mean, can you come back if he disagrees? Are there children involved?

Heronwatcher · Yesterday 15:06

I mean I love my life here, but I am “lucky”
in that I have a decent job, nice house and live in an area I like.

Where would you be moving back to? What income would you have? There is a huge difference I would say between living in a nice house in a decent area and being unemployed in a sink estate. But I would hate not seeing my family and close friends, to me that’s a really essential part of being happy and fulfilled.

Where is your DH getting these ideas from? If it’s GB news, the daily fail and Farage then he is being U (that said, please do encourage him to stay away for all our sakes).

FullOfNoises · Yesterday 15:07

I mean, obviously this doesn't need spelling out I hope, but where one chooses to live depends on a whole load of intertwined personal priorities and values, and a whole load of actual and perceived measures of the place and how you would live there.

Not some made-up single-point measure of fucked-ness.

Assuming you both have considered these things, it might help to put them in your thread.

malefields · Yesterday 15:09

I think you are absolutely right in wanting to return 🙏🏻

Rollercoaster1920 · Yesterday 15:11

He can be 'right' as can you. The country could be fucked and you might still want to return to be closer to family.

Even in messed up countries life goes on.

Ablondiebutagoody · Yesterday 15:11

If you want the Government to confiscate the majority of your money in exchange for terrible public services that you can't even access, move back. Otherwise I would stay where you are.

Charlotte120221 · Yesterday 15:12

If Dubai is so amazing (women's rights?? Workers' rights?? health and safety?? freedom of expression??) then stay there.

But don't expect to waltz back home when you need the NHS or when there's another crisis in the middle east......

C152 · Yesterday 15:12

I agree with your DH.

Heronwatcher · Yesterday 15:12

Yeah it suits the likes of reform, restore etc to portray the whole country as completely fucked and then blame it all on immigrants because it encourages people to vote for their ridiculous nonsense. And if you ever listen to “more or less” on radio 4 half the stats they come up with are completely incorrect.

I do worry about the NHS, and the rise in AI running everything but I can’t think of anywhere else I would prefer to live which doesn’t have similar issues. Scandinavian countries have a good quality of life but incredibly high tax rates and languages which are almost impossible to learn and I wouldn’t enjoy not seeing the sun for
months. In most of Europe you have to pay for private healthcare plus in the south the weather is becoming increasingly more extreme and dangerous. AI is everywhere! There are pluses and minuses to most countries surely?

Chippednailtoepolish · Yesterday 15:13

ukgone2pot · Yesterday 14:57

Do you want to return for good? Are you comfortable financially? Any DC?

I think there are lots of factors to consider in this equation.

Yes for good
One young Dc
Should be ok financially with sale of house and career

OP posts:
GladBiscuit · Yesterday 15:13

People love to hate on the UK, seems to be very popular to do, but having lived abroad for some time, I was super happy to come home and don’t want to leave. Everywhere has its issues, I am content here to be honest.

Traceyatnumber32isaloudgobshite · Yesterday 15:14

He's right. We now jave a country that has sold all ots assets to foreign investors and manufactures next to nothing.
The public nurse has fucking great hole in it that's getting bigger.
Anyone with anything and by that i mean even if you dont have very much will be taxed like fuck soon to try and catch the horse that bolted long ago.
The light at the end of this tunnel wont be seen for a couple of generations, if at all. Certainly not in my lifetime.
Anyone who thinks different must have thier head in the clouds.
Its bleak at best.

I dont know where you are and every country has its cons but seriously the UK is up shit creek without a paddle.

Chippednailtoepolish · Yesterday 15:14

poetryandwine · Yesterday 15:02

What are his objections? Where is he getting his news?

YANBU, definitely. If I were in your shoes and if I loved DH, my first concern would be whether he has lost touch with reality. I would worry that his news is being filtered through extremist sources - right wing, left wing, or both - and he had lost his powers of critical assessment.

Is this a possibility?

No it seems to be what all are saying, the news, what the people where we are also think/believe

OP posts:
Chippednailtoepolish · Yesterday 15:15

Isthisright220 · Yesterday 15:02

Dubai by any chance?

j mean, he’s not wrong. Public finances are at zero and it’s clear we will all be taxed more in a few months.

Dubai, god no

OP posts:
Heronwatcher · Yesterday 15:15

Charlotte120221 · Yesterday 15:12

If Dubai is so amazing (women's rights?? Workers' rights?? health and safety?? freedom of expression??) then stay there.

But don't expect to waltz back home when you need the NHS or when there's another crisis in the middle east......

Yeah I’d say that the bigger issue with Dubai and most of the Middle East is that Iran could start bombing the place again as soon as things go to shit with the “peace process”.

GladBiscuit · Yesterday 15:15

Charlotte120221 · Yesterday 15:12

If Dubai is so amazing (women's rights?? Workers' rights?? health and safety?? freedom of expression??) then stay there.

But don't expect to waltz back home when you need the NHS or when there's another crisis in the middle east......

I don’t know how people live in Dubai. Not only is it fairly boring, but to look at the people of Sudan and be content with living in such a place astounds me.