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Dh says the U.K is f***** and he never wants to go back

650 replies

Chippednailtoepolish · Yesterday 14:55

These were his words this morning.

We live abroad in a place where a lot of people are coming to live, escaping the uk and America.
He says with everything on the news, the way it's going and what the people coming to where we are tell him, that we'd be mad to return.
Is he being realistic? I want to return to be with family desperately and have a strange feeling that I need to do it soon

Would we be mad to return at this time? If yes, then when!

OP posts:
Thread gallery
9
Yellowchair1 · Yesterday 18:38

Of course he is wrong...well the uk is on par with Spain and Portugal...in a lot of metrics is doing much better. It is tough for Europe in general as China and Asia are more dynamic and we have ab aging population, but absolutely it's no where more fucked in uk than where you live.

Bikergran · Yesterday 18:40

If it's anywhere in the Middle East where you are, I will simply say I worked for a Syrian medical consultant who has been offered telephone numbers salaries to go and work out in Dubai, UAE etc, and who says he would never do so as it is so dangerous and unpredictable. Whatever you do currently, make sure you get plenty of money stashed away so you can get out fast if necessary.

Hnjk67 · Yesterday 18:41

Left UK some decades ago. Family and friends still there - they have lovely lifestyles and no intention of leaving. I am looking forward to returning to UK for retirement😊. Nowhere is perfect - everywhere has pros and cons.

Olive123456 · Yesterday 18:41

It is fucked but if you have enough money to buy a nice house in a nice area you can be shielded from much of the fucked upness. I can't wait to leave.

Yellowchair1 · Yesterday 18:42

Chippednailtoepolish · Yesterday 18:29

Yes. I've travelled the world. I understand people having different outlooks according to which part they're in, but surely they visit the worse parts or have some idea of the reality of the country as a whole?

You also get negative people everywhere, as well as positive people! You will find people with similar views to your husband in every country!

Sdevo · Yesterday 18:43

I arrived in the UK quite recently from a famously safe/clean country in Asia. Economically it was a bad decision to move due to tax rates and some aspects of living costs (though others like groceries are much lower).
But I love living in London, it’s a wonderful vibrant city, and do not regret the move at all.
specifically on security as that seems to be your concern - london is awash in petty crime. (Car theft, parcels stolen from doorsteps etc). I am not particularly worried about violent crime though of course depends where you live.

LoveItaly · Yesterday 18:45

Ablondiebutagoody · Yesterday 15:11

If you want the Government to confiscate the majority of your money in exchange for terrible public services that you can't even access, move back. Otherwise I would stay where you are.

Agree, sadly. We have little industry left, a decaying infrastructure, mass immigration of people with cultures very different from our own, a weak jobs market and an inadequate healthcare system. I don’t think that there is the will amongst any party to fix these deep rooted problems, sadly.

Anyone who thinks more tax is the answer is deluded in my opinion, I think this country is undergoing an unstoppable collapse, and I say that as someone who loves this land fiercely. If I were young again, and without ties, I would leave.

strawberrybubblegum · Yesterday 18:49

Livpool · Yesterday 17:54

That’s rich spidering he is an immigrant himself!

The Left are so racist! Do you really think everyone who emigrates to the UK (or to another country, like OP has) is the same? Why do you pretend that you can't tell the difference between them Confused

I hugely appreciate my colleagues, friends and family members who have moved here legally from overseas (from India, Pakistan, China, Hong Hong, Singapore as well as Europe). They are highly-educated, contribute hugely to the UK both economically and culturally and enrich my life.

I'm angry at and about both legal and illegal immigrants who don't integrate in the UK, commit crimes, take far more in social benefits than they will ever pay in tax, and bring over tens of 'relatives' who will do the same.

I'm really angry at the amount of violent and sexual crime committed by men coming from countries with no respect for the law or women. Afghan nationals (like the ones who raped that 14 year old on the train) are convicted of sexual crimes at 20 times the the rate of British men.

Assuming that the OP's husband is in Spain/Portugal legally, is working and contributing, and isn't raping children then it's perfectly reasonable for him to be concerned about UK immigration - it's not 'rich' at all.

Are you so racist that you don't realise that well-integrated UK immigrants are just as concerned about our ridiculous immigration policies as native Brits are?

Winter2020 · Yesterday 18:50

Frugalgal · Yesterday 15:41

The UK is in a bad of a state in some areas (NHS, highish taxes ) due to 14 years of Tory economic destruction and the ongoing stupidity of trickle down economics.

Crime is down and the cost of living is a global problem with a number of global causes.

The worst aspect is the constant moaning about immigration by the stupid, the racist and the frightened people who have been weaponised by the corrupt far right trying to get into power to fill their boots like they do everywhere they get into power (USA, Hungary).

Then we have the MAGA loonies who have never set foot in the UK and don't know the first thing about it, telling us the country has fallen and no longer exists or is a warzone and all sorts of nonsense like that.

Despite all this the UK is a great place to live relatively speaking, so it depends how great the place you are in now is. I wouldn't be in a rush to get back here in your shoes because the endless moaning about immigration is everywhere and it is insufferably boring and stupid.

Quote "The worst aspect is the constant moaning about immigration"?

That's the worst bit is it?

Worse than people being stabbed in the street on a daily basis, worse than a woman being stabbed to death at a train station with a screwdriver by a man who then danced in celebration (RIP Rhiannon Whyte), worse than a woman being raped on Brighton beach by three men who then try to flee back to Afghanistan in a lorry? Worse than murderers and rapists who can't be deported because their children like British chicken nuggets? Worse than the fact that only 4% of the men that arrive on small boats from dangerous countries have been removed?

Yeah all those people grumbling are the big problem (sarcasm)

OP the UK is ok on the whole if you can live in a nice area (for now anyway).

Baital · Yesterday 18:51

Live in a suburb of a major city. Minimal crime, teen daughter and I (single mother) feel generally safe at home and getting out and about. We get public transport without any angst, I do shift work so get the buses home from 9pm onwards without any concern.

We live in a very diverse area, no problems. Close to a large mosque with a high proportion of people of Pakistani origins, and teen DD and I have never felt threatened despite the right wing media claims. The neighbours are friendly and respectful, just as we are.

DD has had a good education in her state comp, extra support and an EHCP. Now thriving at College.

I have a range of friends locally from walking the dog in the local park.

Yes, COL is a worry. But there is still a decent safety net if things fall apart.

Ilovemsrachel · Yesterday 18:54

The crime and immigration worries make him sound like he’s been watching GB news? Even in London, where I live, I feel very safe, and a lot of the stuff about crime stats is being skewed by the American media.

I am feeling very positive about the U.K. at the
moment. We just had a lovely holiday with our disabled kid that involved so many friendly interactions with the public. It felt really welcoming and inclusive, unlike other places we have been abroad this summer.

My interactions with services have also been good - my mum is in hospital and being treated brilliantly. I had a phone appointment with a paediatrician and got the prescription we needed (this took less than two weeks from first contact). We got the EHCP we wanted and support from the council has been good.

I know this isn’t always the case, but I wanted to offer a bit of balance. Things feel super hopeful to me since Burnham came in!

Youhadrambledonfor18pages · Yesterday 18:57

Ablondiebutagoody · Yesterday 15:11

If you want the Government to confiscate the majority of your money in exchange for terrible public services that you can't even access, move back. Otherwise I would stay where you are.

”majority” of your money 🙄

smallglassbottle · Yesterday 19:00

Firetreev · Yesterday 17:09

It must be exhausting in your delusional brain. Are you quite okay? Do you have friends? Hobbies? Get out much? Trust me, there is no conspiracy to replace you. The conspiracy is the nonsense you're clearly reading on social media and taking as gospel.

Not delusional, just many years of spotting patterns and behaviors.

TimeFlysWhenYoureHavingRum · Yesterday 19:02

Chippednailtoepolish · Yesterday 15:30

We're white,

Immigration, safety, cost of living, quality of life...everything basically!

So you moved to another country for a better life but you dont want to come back to the UK because you dont like immigrants?

Seems reasonable.

EvangelicalAboutButteredToast · Yesterday 19:04

Watching that video of the flash flood hitting Nepal just now does put things into perspective.

smallglassbottle · Yesterday 19:06

GoodkneeBadKnee · Yesterday 18:17

Agreed. And what "fallout"?

I live in an area with plenty of 'fallout', so I'll wait and see how the sheltered cope with it. I merely wish the sheltered to experience the same love that we do. What's wrong with that?

Hellohelga · Yesterday 19:12

EvangelicalAboutButteredToast · Yesterday 17:55

Perhaps that’s the difference. My area is not nice. It’s dirty and full of Vape shops. I would be delighted to pay more tax if I didn’t feel like those who dictate the rules to us weren’t taking the piss and just giving the money away. I would be very supportive of council tax changes based on community depravation.

Those of you living in leafy suburbs enjoying your Barista coffee and avocado toast should absolutely pay a premium for the land and help out those of us who live in areas that aren’t so nice, so we all get to enjoy our environment.

Edited

We already do

Clydebuilt · Yesterday 19:13

Pepperlee · Yesterday 15:29

She's not going to tell you. It's a secret. 😳

It’ll be ‘outing’

BinturongsSmellOfPopcorn · Yesterday 19:13

Chippednailtoepolish · Yesterday 18:29

Yes. I've travelled the world. I understand people having different outlooks according to which part they're in, but surely they visit the worse parts or have some idea of the reality of the country as a whole?

Are you planning to move to one of the worse parts?

Clydebuilt · Yesterday 19:14

TimeFlysWhenYoureHavingRum · Yesterday 19:02

So you moved to another country for a better life but you dont want to come back to the UK because you dont like immigrants?

Seems reasonable.

‘Down with immigrants!’ Let’s emigrate…

Egilsay · Yesterday 19:16

I have lived overseas, in both Europe and the US. My husband is American so we spend a lot of time there. If I listened to some social and other media as my only source of info, I would tell you it is a hell hole that nobody in their right mind would live in. My in-laws are quite clear that, whilst they hate Trump and the current political position, that is not their life experience at all. And, certainly, it wasn't mine when I lived there. So I would be careful about where your husband (and you, to judge from some of your posts) are getting your information from.

The UK is a low crime country, although demographics and geography play a part in just how safe. Presumably you would be researching where you chose to live, and within the limits of work and affordability would choose somewhere as safe as possible.

We are not a high tax country; I laugh when I hear it. The reason public services are not great is because collectively we don't pay enough tax, but (and it's a big but) what we do pay is mostly regressive, so it feels much worse for the less well-off (and I am, income wise, one of those). But my income tax is 20%, my NI when I paid it was 11%. As a younger woman my income tax alone was higher than the sum of those.

What is a massive issue is the cost of living; both rent and house prices (although stagnating and even falling in some places) have far outstripped wage increases, and impose a disproportionate burden on the young, those with families, and people with disabilities. Successive governments have destroyed social house building in this country, and we all are now feeling the impact of that.

Immigration into this country is very low (after a post-Brexit spike), and is falling rapidly. So rapidly, in fact, that it's going to have a nasty effect on public services, tax income, and future pensions, so that's worth considering. There is a ludicrous tendency to conflate asylum seekers and economic immigrants, which does nobody any good at all, but gives populists on the right someone to 'other' and blame for the cost of living issues which are not their fault at all. I am a little sick of hearing 'oh immigrants are a drain, whoops, I don't mean your husband, he's not that kind of immigrant'. Yes, he is, he is exactly like most immigrants, he worked hard, paid his taxes, paid his bills, contributed to his community and this country. There is a wealth of empirical evidence to show the financial benefit, not drain, that immigration is for the UK.

I had no intention of spending my retirement in the UK but circumstances conspired to keep me here longer than I expected and it's not terrible by any means. It is still likely that in the next five years I will emigrate again, but it's not because I am fleeing the UK (it really is a perfectly ordinary, middling sort of country in most ways) but because I wish to live in another part of Europe, which, I know, is also a perfectly ordinary, middling sort of country in most ways, as the majority of western nations are.

soddingspiderseason · Yesterday 19:17

EvangelicalAboutButteredToast · Yesterday 19:04

Watching that video of the flash flood hitting Nepal just now does put things into perspective.

Absolutely. I count my blessings whenever I see such tragedies. The UK is not perfect, but its safe from those kind of major geological, tectonic issues. Portugal not so much.

Henhipster · Yesterday 19:18

Firetreev · Yesterday 15:21

We need to have more positive mindsets. It's not great, but by jove we've won the lottery being born here. Look up life in a country like Haiti, the DRC or Myanmar. We're some of the luckiest people on the planet, but greed and individualism makes us think otherwise. Even people one hundred years ago in Britain would tell us to give our heads a wobble. Hot showers, indoor loos, washing machines, healthy food, free primary and secondary education, foreign holidays, medical advances. I could go on and on. We're some of the luckiest people in the history of the planet. We need to be able to acknowledge that we have enough, most of us have enough! The endless desire for more, more, more and the jealousy and discontent that breeds is a cancer on society. If you have a roof over your head, food on your plate, some free time and hobbies, and friends and family who love you, you're doing well. If you have good health and a bit of spare cash you're doing even better.

This! With bells on!

Freud2 · Yesterday 19:19

HotGrapefruit · Yesterday 15:19

What issues is he worried about? Are you white?

Yes it's getting more racist, and the quality of life will slowly decline forever, I think, in terms of expenses and also utilities.

But if your family are here, that is enormously important.

It's getting more racist not because of Reform or but because the ruling political class don't listen to what the people want which is controlled borders. This is what has caused division - people are continually frustrated and although the left will never admit it it has impacted our way of life and prosperity.

Jane379 · Yesterday 19:19

Chippednailtoepolish · Yesterday 15:19

Basically crime etc

Which area are you in?

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