Dh says the U.K is f***** and he never wants to go back

[Chippednailtoepolish]

These were his words this morning.

We live abroad in a place where a lot of people are coming to live, escaping the uk and America.
He says with everything on the news, the way it's going and what the people coming to where we are tell him, that we'd be mad to return.
Is he being realistic? I want to return to be with family desperately and have a strange feeling that I need to do it soon

Would we be mad to return at this time? If yes, then when!

My biggest worry is the escalation in debt and continued triple lock, etc and the impact this is having on younger people mostly who will always be paying for it. I am getting my kids through school then most likely leaving. Day to day it is mentalist that we are not reporting immigrant crime figures, there must be a big issue and that we are handing out leaflets saying women are equal here and please do not rape them. We are staring down the barrel of a war with Putin and Iraq and I don't think we could raise an army, there's no common purpose, community or shared energy here any more. I share his concerns sadly.

I live in the suburbs in the SE. I regularly leave bikes, prams, parcels in my front garden. Nothing has ever been stolen. DC’s school is lovely, well resourced state school. We go on country walks and spend time with family and friends on the weekends. So a nice life.
The economy is uncertain and the job market is bad at the moment though we’ve not been affected personally. I’m not an expert but you could research economic and crime analysis from reputable sources.

Which borders are not controlled?

See no good future ahead in this country for my adult children (18 & 21 - just finished with school and Uni) and have told them to leave the UK if they are able to. I'd go myself but for an elderly and dependent Mother, plus an elderly dog too, so for now, I am stuck here.

It’s pretty porous as borders go. There was a horrific crime with a glass attack against a woman. Somehow the man entered not known.

Sorry, please clarify which borders are not controlled?

The people in villages near army barracks about to be taken over by hundreds of male asylum seekers are certainly worried about the fall out for their areas and making no secret of the fact.

This is ridiculous. I can appreciate all the challenges of other countries whilst also being seriously concerned that the quality of life in this country and access to public services etc. has seriously declined and is continuing to do so at a rapid rate. We should all be concerned about that.

The borders that mean the man could get in without being stopped

Those are solvable problems even if they were absolutely miserable and terrifying.

Overpopulation won't be reversed and that is the catalyst for a domino effect of problems (roads congestion and condition, infrastructure, overburdened NHS, job shortages) the list is endless.

What's that?

The UK is still one of the biggest economies in the world and the currency is extremely strong. It’s a far bigger economy than Dubai for example.

If you compare the UK globally rather than mainly with other wealthy Western European countries, it remains an unusually advantageous place to live on quite a few measures.

there is very low corruption and high personal freedom. It’s extremely safe by world standards. Gun deaths are exceptionally rare.

the NHS has real problems with waiting times but the fundamental protection is enormous: serious illness doesn’t normally carry the additional risk of financially ruining a family.

The UK has a strong school system overall and an extraordinary concentration of internationally important universities — Oxford, Cambridge, Imperial, UCL, LSE, Edinburgh.

London in particular is one of the world’s major centres for finance, law, technology, medicine, media, academia and professional services.

Benefits, state pensions, disability support, social housing, free schooling and NHS healthcare provide considerably more protection than exists in much of the world.

The weather gets complained about endlessly, but Britain has remarkably few natural hazards: virtually no destructive earthquakes, hurricanes, serious wildfires, extreme freezes or lethal heat for most of the country.

Doesn't Spain have quite bad problems with illegal immigration? Look what happened recently. And political corruption is also an issue there.

https://www.politico.eu/article/spain-ceuta-migration-crisis-pedro-sanchez-national-security-council/

I know less about Portugal and Spain may be the right choice, it depends what your main issues with the UK are.

Can I ask : where in the UK do you live? I live in South London and feel safe. I often travel to central London and have never witnessed violence although a worrying number of people seem on drugs and/or mentally ill.

Crime varies a lot by area. What is your area like? Imo that's important to know in order to be able to advise better.

I live in a commuter town, and work in London. My husband and I are 'middle earners', not rich by any means but we have a nice and comfortable life in our public sector jobs. Do we live the life we thought we would as 'grown ups'? Yes, pretty much. We have holidays, two cars, have a mortgage etc. We don't struggle and are happy with what we have.

Do I feel safe walking to the train station in the dark? Yes. Did I get seen same day by my GP when I needed it last month? Also yes. It's not as 'f**ked' as GB News would have you think.

Worries about AI taking jobs and the ageing population aside....it's pretty okay here. There are far, far worse countries to be in.

Yeah, your DH is mostly correct. The UK has been in a massive downward spiral for years. The cracks in the infrastructure are really big now and many people are struggling or feeling hopeless with a really crap job market, increasing bills and poor or non-existent services. Oh, there’s also shoplifting and criminal activity on a massive scale too as well as the degeneration of the high street.

I had a walk around my once beautiful city today. Half the shops are closed (and looking dreadful), half of what’s left is vape shops, nail bars and barbers (all known to potentially be a front for organised crime). The place is full of drunks and drug addicts and we watched a fight outside a shop due to shoplifting. It’s grim - and this is a lot of England now.

I’m assuming the people saying it’s OK or good have well-paying jobs, a nice house and live in an area that’s still nice.

My sister lives abroad and I was shocked by the stuff her friends were saying when we went out for a meal. Didn’t reflect my reality. I think ex pats work themselves about UK changing but imo (likely privileged pov) it hasn’t changed that much. I live in a place that is safe, clean, has good schools etc.

Personally, I wouldn't listen to the media too much. There's an awful lot of negativity and sensationalism, simply because it gets far more attention. The UK isn't perfect by any stretch of the imagination, but is it as bad as the media make out? in my opinion, No. I wonder if people back in the 1970's thought the UK was doomed, when there were power cuts, strikes galore, lack of public services, and people had less money?!! Probably. Did the UK crash and burn, never to recover again? No, of course it didn't!

We went to London in October last year and February this year, for short breaks. If I'd had listened to the media, I'd have been pick pocketed, had my phone snatched, stabbed and robbed! You know what, we were absolutely fine!

Listening to the media, means we end up paranoid, and too scared to step outside our front door.

Because it depends on who you are and where.

I have a great life, I prefer the UK to almost any other country in terms of long-term living. So might other people who are native English speakers, comfortable, living somewhere like Rochmond, Chelsea, Fulham, Oxfordshire, Cotswolds etc... It can be a really lovely lifestyle.

Now, I am from Scandinavia. I would not want to be poor in the UK. Even most town centres that are not wealthy places are falling apart, nevermind schools, hospitals etc, and I prefer to stay away from them and would be miserable if I lived there. They used to be much nicer pre-2010.

I would fairly happily live in a middling place in Scandinavia, Switzerland, maybe some Eastern European countries, maybe even Spain. But lots of places in the UK feel increasingly left behind and it's at such a large scale, I'm not sure how we can catch them back up.

Many other things are amazing though. Best society in the world.

Also Spain has a housing crisis, like a lot of Europe.

https://uk.finance.yahoo.com/news/moving-countryside-home-young-people-035718042.html

On the plus side, I do think healthcare and infrastructure is better there.

Poland is another country which has good infra, health care (aside from the retrograde abortion law which will hopefully change sooner rather than later) education etc. Immigration illegally is not such an issue there either. Otoh there is the threat of Putin invading, though hopefully it being a NATO country is protective.

I agree that people seem to enjoy putting the UK down and the media, imo, constantly make things sound worse than they are.

Also, you will mostly hear negative things from people who have chosen to leave the UK because the ones who like the UK will have stayed!

I think the UK has loads going for it. It depends where you are of course - just like anywhere there are nice places and horrible places. I've had loads of great holidays within the UK in the last five years and have barely scratched the surface. Living in Snowdonia isn't the same as living in London. Or Luton. Or Bristol. Or York.

I met a French lady two weeks ago who has lived here for a decade and said she loves it and would never go back to France. 🤷

Does your husband watch GB News/ read the Mail? Worried the whole of the UK is being taken over by immigrants and London and Birmingham are no go areas for white people? As immigrants yourself, surely you can see through xenophobic nonsense. Violent crime is actually on the decline. And yes the country is skint and we might all have to chip in (taxes) more to get the services everyone needs but that is the result of deregulated capitalism that has been asset stripping the country for the decade under Tory rule. Hopefully Burnham can turn it around though. People are massively
openly racist now, so if that bothers you, then you should probably stay away.

Good post. Op's post seems a bit naive to me. There disintegrating areas in plenty of countries which also have well-kept, prosperous ones. The problem is that the UK is becoming more and more unequal. But nothing will change unless as many people as possible stay and try to make it better.

So not a border then? Our actual physical borders are very well controlled. You are referring to small boats presumably? We are an island. We are surrounded by sea (which is pretty much what an island is). You cannot put a border in the sea. So we need to take action to control the small boats. The numbers are down, despite what you may be being told, so the action now being taken is clearly working. I like this island. If you find it so awful, then perhaps try mindfulness? Focus on the positive things in life?

It definitely depends on where you live because I don’t recognise the UK that some people are describing on this thread.

I live in a deprived area and it’s getting worse not better. There’s no jobs and unemployment is high, public services are being slashed left right and centre despite a huge increase in council tax, getting an appointment with a GP is like winning the lottery, dentist is non existent, antisocial behaviour is on the rise and police stations are closing which isn’t very reassuring, housing is a huge problem, it’s not safe to be out after dark, drug use is getting worse, and this is just off the top of my head.

I don’t know what Spain is like so can’t compare but parts of this country (mainly working class areas), are on its knees and there’s no use pretending otherwise. The problem is until people get impacted by things they either don’t know it’s happening or turn a blind eye to it.

I see. So the physical ones stop people but we have an issue still anyway with people getting in. So porous borders.

The last part you’ve made up in your own mind. Not what I’ve posted.