AIBU to feel fed up about how much summer holidays cost?

[jumpinthecoolpool]

Summer is nearly over thank god and despite trying we’ve spent an absolute fortune. Free things never actually are, there’s always a catch. I got fooled by a kids eat for £1 the other day and it still cost £40 for two adult meals and an hour in a tiny soft play my eldest was bored with after ten minutes.

Has anybody managed not to haemorrhage money? Have had some subtle criticisms from DH and I’m tired of it.

I am a teacher so have a similar summer of child entertainment! Mine are older (8 and 11) - it is getting much easier to keep them busy and spend less money.

We have done 2 weeks on holiday and 3 weeks at home. Cheap options have been baking, bike ride, visiting Granny on the bus, friends over, National Trust, lots of TV and relaxing, board games, music practice, reading. But all of these are not easy with small children. We have also done 2 "big" days out which were expensive but very enjoyable.

Make sure they all have small backpacks. I found from around age 3 they could carry their own food, drink and a jumper / raincoat.

And it is true that it is possible to find many cheap and free things to do but as a PP has already pointed out, not many of them take up a large amount of time (picking blackberries / paddling in a stream for example.)

Still, it is nearly over for another year.

This is largely what I’m hoping. I know a lot of people say it is easier to keep little children entertained and that’s possibly true up to a point but with very little children it can be hard to keep them entertained because they obviously don’t really have those skills themselves yet.

Ok, I get it, the ice cream and now this. It's been a tough summer. Before the next holiday, please work things out with your husband. It's not great.

@PatriciaRocks it isn’t DH I’m shutting down, it’s the criticisms of my parenting. I know I don’t get everything right; I also know that I didn’t start the thread to be told DS should be managing some of Dickens’ early works or that a three year old should cheerfully and sunnily accept that she’s not having an ice cream when all her friends are.

The situation with DH is not ideal but it also isn’t what I’m posting about as (as much as it will shock some) I do think it is good for children to leave the house, exercise, see friends and not just play in their own home and garden. I really can tell you’re wanting an argument here and I just don’t want to engage, I’ve enough on, tbh.

It's you who wants thw argument.
I think the nub of the matter is your DH, but obviously you don't.
No need for the hyperbole. I'm off now anyway.
Good luck.

I definitely do not want an argument. I am buying ice creams to keep the peace and my five year old cannot read independently. End of conversation

I haven’t read the whole thread sorry but whilst I sympathise don’t have the same experience. Have barely spent extra except on our actual holiday away. We live in London which obviously helps massively, also my DC has severe allergies so we always always take food out. Whilst this is a massive pain (and I would give anything to not have them) I think it saves us an absolute fortune. Also with small kids it often works better as no faffing around trying to queue for food/ get a table/ find something they like. We have a picnic formula so we can prepare it quicker. Even with expensive nice Gail’s bread it’s so much cheaper than buying. I am pretty on it with finding free events/ bargains - again realise London a big help but this summer I also got a voucher for a family pass to NT, and other similar. I am on a seat filler mailing list. A lot of days we do stuff like walk to park/ woods/ library/ shops though which costs nothing. My dc read at home a lot too, we play games, this summer we have planted vegetables which has been very fun. Obv it all depends on your DC but mine are 3 and 8 with additional needs and an obv age gap and all the holidays so far have been like this. I can imagine other parts of the country are different. Costs us a fortune to live here tho 🫠🙃

@jumpinthecoolpool - if it helps, my 6 year old can’t read. He hasn’t even started school where we live. He can just about sound out the abc.

We sit and read with him every single day since tiny baby, and frankly he hates it!
He reluctantly sits to listen on sofa or in bed with us evening but had never ever just independently chosen to pick up a book and look at it alone. We have tried 101 times. Some kids don’t. I read loads.

He would be entertained by water on a paint brush for 30 seconds

Just read all of your posts OP. Massively sympathise with the DH WFH issue!
also with the picky eating. My 3 year old is horrendous and the older one is great but has severe allergies. 3yo fussiness drives me insane and she is super stubborn. However and I say this with respect - and you know your own kids and what’s worth it to you - as someone who HAS to bring food I’m sure there is something you could pack for a picnic, it’s just whether it’s worth the effort/ time/ planning… my smallest fussiest one has a sort of tapas assortment currently. My other one used to have pasta/ potato stuff before they ate sandwiches. But I sympathise! Think you should just view this summer as the phase of where you are at at the moment and you probably won’t be next year! Enjoy your ice creams! I would love to be able to buy my DC and ice cream so just enjoy it!
and on the reading - you’re a teacher so you know this - my eldest didn’t read at that age, was in bottom group starting school, I taught them in yr1 - they now are in top group in y3 and read for hours at a time to themselves. You gotta work with what you’ve got and you know your kids

I asked about your child reading, my children at that age weren’t early readers but I meant looking through a book and picking out words or just looking at pictures. I don’t mean not having an ice cream with her friends but not needing one the rest of the time, especially if she is eating so little.

My children are older than yours and I’ve made plenty of mistakes but getting their expectations set when they’re young is so much easier than trying to change their expectations when older.

My point wasn't that you should feed her what I've fed my children. As I kept saying - the point is you can take the sorts of foods she does eat. The foods you feed her at home. You aren't limited to traditional picnic foods.

But again I want to reiterate that I support you spending family money on eating out over the summer if your DH is just annoyed that there isn't as much money left for fun things rather than it getting you into debt or soemthing. It isn't an unreasonable expense if you're out of the house for 8 hours.

Exactly. People with children who eat anything in any form really dont understand the other side of it. Also part of the day out is ice cream, lunch, and all the little things.

We also live in London, where ALL their friends are doing similar. The other day my older child’s friends wanted to watch a movie together. So of course mine went too. It’s a ticket, then the snacks, then they’re hungry after so it’s lunch. We can afford this BUT there’s nothing that’s free and cheap as people make out to be.

My dc is almost 11yo and going to the park for a picnic is just plain boring tbh. They’re surrounded by activities and amazing things to do, very hard to have cheap days out. Maybe it’s because I’m in London, I don’t know.

I've been ill throughout most of the summer so we have literally had one big(ish) day out and then a few little things here and there (swimming, cinema, meal etc), but I still seem to have managed to spend an absolute fortune with my tween and teen. We would normally have gotten out much more and like you say, every trip out comes with costs, but actually haven't spent the summer at home I think I've managed to spend even more than usual! My food bill has skyrocketed, they constantly want robux/v bucks or something from amazon towards their hobbies etc. I don't even want to see how much the electric is going to be after a summer of fans being on 24/7 and far too much screen time!
When mine were little, before the holidays I would do a big order from hobbycraft, as you can get loads of little craft sets super cheap. We would then get those out for the quiet times when we were at home, do them out in garden during the summer which lessens the clean up! In the summer we'd have the paddling pool out although admittedly that did drive me crazy as no sooner had they had enough and got dried and changed, they'd be back in again! Some days would be game days, where we would just get a load of board games down and play them for ages. Photo scavenger hunts were a hit in the summer - I'd just print off a list of random things that you would find and we'd go for long walks through the park/woods where ever and they would use an old phone to take pics of the things on the list and see if they could get them all. I was nervous of swimming, but you are normally allowed 2 under 8s with an adult, so I managed to find a pool locally that has a kids pool that is all shallow and we always chose the latest slot so that it was fairly empty. That way, the eldest was always within her depth and I could see her even if she wandered off while I was with the youngest.

@Caspianberg DS can read a bit but not independently. He needs you to be with him where he’s reading to you. He isn’t behind AFAIK. I don’t doubt some children are ahead but I’m not worrying until his teacher tells me to worry, and she hasn’t, so … Sorry, I know that sounds defensive and I don’t mean it to, I’m genuinely just ‘sayin’” as the kids would say!

@Makebelieveanotherlife I’m glad you’re ‘here’ so to speak. I don’t know why DD is so picky, there’s just a very limited amount of foods she’ll eat so I can’t just shove picnics together. Occasionally it’s not a problem if she misses lunch but I can’t really have that every day.

@Acg1991 sorry to hear you’ve been unwell.

As an SEN parent I will pick my battles!

Funny to see this thread as this is something my friends & I were literally just talking about yesterday. We all mostly have very young children still, all under 6, so I’m sure more expensive years are to come but we were talking yesterday about how even days that you planned to be cheap/free always seem to end up costing something, and when it is suddenly 7 days a week even the £5 for ice cream, £4 meal deal or £2 for a snack can add up quickly and yeah of course you could refuse to entertain all of that but it’s easier said than done when the ice cream van appears singing its song and every child and their dog is getting an ice cream at the park. Even ice creams we paid £9 for 3 ice creams from the van in our local park, even if you said that happened a few times a week thats £30!

I’m glad it isn’t just me @Jellybunny98 . I’ll honestly be so glad when term starts again

I am not sure many can read independently (especially not interesting books) going into year 1.

my 5 year old son is going in to year 1 equivalent in another country and the school don’t even start teaching to read for another year.

‘twas a dig trying to make out ds is hopelessly behind

must be all those ice creams

Drinks? £10 at least for 4 people. Leaves £30 for 2 meals. Its not expensive. Lots of us have spent OP. Its nearly back to school! So I wouldn't worry.

Drinks, and I also didn’t realise the crap soft play was £3 per child so that added £6 to the bill. Most annoying.

Dh sounds an issue wfh so can he go into the office or rent a space 2/3 days a week

so you can chill at home some days

any friends with sim age kids yoy Ca gate crash

but yes I get it. Holidays do cost - I try and do a trip each week with friends. See cousins , school friends (good to swap so you get rid of older one day and return favour following week).

my dd def plays better is someone here

I do say no to her tho. Esp not having an ice cream out every day due to cost

it will get easier and hopefully next summer eldest will be reading and can go and entertain self for a while

as youngest is 2 hopefully still napping so can get an hour or so to self and tell eldest to go and play /colour :look at books or even tv /educational stuff on iPad

This is the issue. I'm a 1983 baby. One classmate of mine ran out into the road and was killed age 11. Another rode a skateboard down a hilly field age 9, went out into the road and had a head injury so bad he became quite violent (he is in prison now). We live in a town centre and there's no way I'm letting a primary age child roam about.

As for all these picnics - does nobody else find themselves immediately chased by wasps in August?