AIBU to feel fed up about how much summer holidays cost?

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Summer is nearly over thank god and despite trying we’ve spent an absolute fortune. Free things never actually are, there’s always a catch. I got fooled by a kids eat for £1 the other day and it still cost £40 for two adult meals and an hour in a tiny soft play my eldest was bored with after ten minutes.

Has anybody managed not to haemorrhage money? Have had some subtle criticisms from DH and I’m tired of it.

Why do you have to take them out though? My kids love just staying at home and playing with their toys all day and always have. Plenty of time to do crafts, baking, drawing etc. sometimes they'd help me with the household cleaning and stuff. Picnic and local walks etc.
And now my kids are 8 and 11 it's almost impossible to get them to leave the house!! They still love playing with LOL dolls or playing 'schools' or hospitals or learning a dance together etc. sometimes it'll be a movie day!

No you’re not being unreasonable - 6 weeks is far too long.

Can you have any play date at friends or families houses? I used to spend a week at my cousins house and then they’d spend a week with me.

Also libraries are good as they usually have free stuff. Even the summer reading challenge is suitable for kids who can’t read

Why don't you just take a water bottle per child and fill them up when empty? The museums/galleries you visited would possibly have refill stations or their cafes would have filled the bottles up if you'd asked.

There is an app that tells you all the places nearby that will refill your bottle up if you're unsure where to go, link on the Refill website: www.refill.org.uk/

If I had only had my second daughter, I would completely agree with you. She loves nothing more to potter around the house and could happily spend the majority of the holidays at home. My older child drove me barmy at home until at least age 6 or 7 though. They were so much better out the house, even if more for my sanity than theirs (including during COVID when out the house options were dire). The OP is a teacher so one would hope she has at least some experience of child-wrangling and development. Children are different and some definitely do better outside the house.

Mine are the same ages as yours OP and I agree, the summer hols has cost a fortune. We have a few memberships but agree it's the add ons that all add up. My partner is the worst culprit for wanting to buy food out though, not the kids! We do a daily bike ride/dog walk and maybe get an hour or so of nice play at home out of them, then we need to get out of the house or they just squabble.

We did the same as PP's mum with the strawberry cornettos - filled a freezer drawer with ice lollies and ice creams for about £15 at the start of the hols and promised an ice cream at home instead of spending £2-5 per child (RHS garden we went to charges a fiver!!) for an ice cream out.

This is it. DD is actually OK at home although I don’t necessarily think spending huge amounts of time at home is good for anybody but with dd I can go out to a park or duck feed or soft play then home.

We also have a DH wfh which complicates things. I know it shouldn’t but it does unfortunately.

If he's wfh and wants them out of the way for that reason, he needs to have even less to say about costs incurred doing it.

He doesn’t especially although I think he does prefer it (who wouldn’t) but he doesn’t understand the fact his presence alters everything. It’s a bit of an ongoing debate tbf and I’ve seen discussions on here over the years where some genuinely seem to be able to shut the partner in a room for forget their existence. I can’t (tbf he’s loud) and neither can the children so not only do I have to manage them but have to manage them disturbing him. It’s easier out of the house, but expensive.

Well in that case he still needs to have less to say about expenses. After all, the problem would be reduced if he werent so loud.

This is my rough schedule for summer hols.
One week all of us away, other 5 weeks at home a bit like this-
1 day out with Dad
1 day out with Mum
1 day local holiday camp (early bird 20% so only £24 a day)
1 day playdate at home (super cheap, just snacks 🤣)
1 day walk or cycle / stop at library and or local park / buy coffee and cake (relatively cheap)

Days out have included 2 x localish national trusts (we have membership); 2 x returns to museums that gave us annual passes plus a couple of more spendy days out. We always take a picnic to reduce costs.

I find the middle of the holidays harddest, just before the August payday but it feels manageable again now we've been paid and the end is in sight.

He doesn’t think he’s loud - this is the problem!

I also think a lot of people with one child don’t realise costs literally double. One over priced ice cream OK, two is a much bigger dent in the budget!

Things I have done to keep the holidays cheap-

1. Get the kids involved in cooking the evening meal.
2. Local swimming baths weekly.
3. Bike rides to the park stopping to buy an ice cream from the coop.
4. Cinema. Vue do tickets for 4.99 each. I take my own popcorn.
5. Invite mates over.

All of these activities cost less than £20

Mine wants to play football and/or run. All day. He's done 6 hours at a Kelloggs camp today, came out and asked if we can go to the park. I cannot tell you how exhausting (alongside all the greatness) these kids are.

They are great - boundless energy but better than screens and so forth I guess!

See this might be great if your children still like toys, but for us if at home it is all about screens. My 10 year old daughter is fine doing crafts but I think even she has now exhausted everything..
Her brother though no longer plays with toys. His interest lies in gaming.
Unless I take him out the house he would sit and play all day (which can be fine occasionally but I don't like him on it all day).

Totally agree. Even a “cheap” trip to the park can quickly ramp up if there’s an ice cream van. Everything is so expensive and I’m sick of always being the miserable one that says no. I think my eldest 2 kids were less acquisitive but my youngest has well off friends and always complains about how much they get and he doesn’t get. It’s hard to balance not spending too much with saying yes to some things.

Things were very different when I was a child and when my children were children (so I'm talking about how things were in the 1960s, `70s, '80s and '90s for my family).
Apart from the time when we actually went away for a week, we had no organised activities and everything was free, and the remainder of the summer holidays was spent at home. The children just made their own entertainment, either in our back garden, in friends' back gardens, in our house, in friends' houses or outside in the local area - making dens in the woods, or rafts in the river (it's a ford, so very shallow) or just generally playing and messing about.
Parents had no input at all to any of these activities and the only cost was occasionally having to supply a couple of extra meals. Sometimes both of my children spent all day playing outside or at friends houses. Other times the friends spent all day with us. Sometimes they decided to have sleepovers and would come running back to collect a pillow and a sleeping bag and a pair of pyjamas. But it was all free.

You're not being miserable by saying "no". You're being a parent.
Children can learn from early on about costs. You don't even have to give a reason. No is enough.

I had a week off around the house and town and spent £300 which was my savings. Some of it was stuff DD needed for school

Indeed but the holidays are hard, really hard, and sometimes it’s just getting through the day. When you get to a certain point in the day and everyone’s tired and fretful no one’s going to learn any useful life lessons from saying no,

Oh come on! Every parent gets tired and stressed. You don't give in to the children every time that happens, surely?

Presumably he's noticed he has two?

@PatriciaRocks i see it more as picking your battles. But we probably won’t agree on this one.

@IonianNerveGrip i was really thinking about some of the posts here which were saying it wasn’t too bad who only have the one child. It’s a bit like the trampolining; £23 for one - OK; £46 for two is much more ‘ouch.’ I have really noticed it this summer as last summer DD was only just two so could easily pass for under 2.

It really depends on the age of the children. A 12 and 15 year old do not want to be going for picnics in parks and the NT is pretty boring.

I had the day off on Monday and took my two for a dog walk, a cafe lunch then an ice cream.

Lunch was £73, ice cream £15 and then £3 to park.

We had once course each and a drink in a cafe, albeit a nice cafe but still.

When they are older one of the few activities my two both enjoy is going out to eat