AIBU to feel fed up about how much summer holidays cost?

[jumpinthecoolpool]

Summer is nearly over thank god and despite trying we’ve spent an absolute fortune. Free things never actually are, there’s always a catch. I got fooled by a kids eat for £1 the other day and it still cost £40 for two adult meals and an hour in a tiny soft play my eldest was bored with after ten minutes.

Has anybody managed not to haemorrhage money? Have had some subtle criticisms from DH and I’m tired of it.

Yes, that’s a ‘yowch.’ £73 😩😩

We were at a place we have a membership for today so free entry but lunch and ice creams soon put paid to that.

We won't! The phrase "I pick my battles" I find very irritating. As a Head of KS4, I ger this from parents a bit too much, but that's a whole other story.
"Picking battles" is just avoiding what is challenging, and in all honesty, saying no to an ice cream should not be challenging.
However, I think that's just the tip of the iceberg for you, and some serious conversations with your DH sound necessary. I hope it goes well

Thing is sometimes you just want to enjoy a nice day out and not be having to penny pinch.

Yes we can all be sensible and make a packed lunch and refill bottles but honestly sometimes you just want to go wild and buy an ice cream on the spur of the moment.

I think the op's moan was more around the bloody costs associated with it.

It’s harder as they get older. I’ve really tried to be careful about extra spending on food and drinks so take snacks, packed lunches and drinks but even then, like others have said, a full day out and drinks are warm and run out and you end up buying more.

What’s helped me is letting them choose from a cheaper shop so they’re getting a treat but not as expensive and trying to have friends over so not spending as much on going out.

It is good for children to hear “no you can’t have that” sometimes. Your doing nobody any favours always saying yes especially if it’s making money tight. Put some ice lollies in the freezer and say “we will have one when we get home”

it is perfectly possible to do plenty of things for free if you plan ahead and you want to.

I live within a five minute walk of the beach, if that, in past years I’ve taken the children on the beach near enough daily but after watching the BBC show ‘Dirty Business’ I’ve stayed well away, it’s really frightened me and put me off going.

I also think it's about her DH wfh and not supporting and facilitating holiday parenting.

I agree, they're still having an ice cream. Plus deferred pleasure is very good for their self management.

I find it so boring making a packed lunch every day and then carrying it around.

I think the issue is that costs have also gone up everywhere. I recall having the discussion about holiday expenses a few years ago and it was the same thing about even a free day out has a price with parking. And also same debate on ice creams about having to balance when they would get one (often if out with friends who we knew would be buying) and when to manage expectations that we would have something at home.

I also think it depends on area as some of these prices are laughable. For myself and two kids to go swimming at the local leisure centre is is £18. If we went to the inflatable session for 3 of us it would be £25.
Even people saying about kids go free on the bus and it's only £3 for an adult forget that you also need to get home, so it's £6 for the bus.

I think if you rise to every challenge presented by very young children you will be exhausted and miserable and so will your children. Boundaries are very important but so is your sanity. And if you’re out with friends (also good for sanity) and they are all having an ice cream it’s a bit miserable not to have one. But I see the thread is going to descend into ice cream bickering!

@Blankscreen its true. I think the thing is that you end up losing money as soon as you leave the house - even for free or cheap activities.

Nope. Hard disagree! However, you have to start young. It's not about ice cream, it's about children learning about what they can and cannot have, and about parents not giving in the every whinge and complaint.
However - that and "I pick my battles!" is definitely for another thread.

These threads always go that way.

If I were you I'd just agree a budget with DH. And if he thinks you don't need a budget, he can do a few days out with the kids solo and see how he gets on. He may just be totally unrealistic about the cost of living if it's mostly you with the kids.

I think it's fine and admirable to lead a frugal lifestyle but it has to be a joint choice, not one parent leaving it to the other then grousing about how they're doing it.

You paid £100 to arrive at 3pm?
Blimey. If I'm paying £100 I'm getting there at 10am!
X

But it doesn’t need to be a challenge. You make expectations clear before you go and you set the norm that trips out don’t mean buying lots from a young age children come to understand that.

If you make the choice to always buy then that is your choice!

I loved this post. My childhood was like that too.

Sadly I am bringing my child up in the 2020s and I really don't think many of her friends' parents would be on board (and no sensible parents in the 70s were letting 3 year olds mess about with rafts either 😂).

The only people I know who manage this kind of thing live in very small communities a long way from urban centres. And tbh they still have Netflix and phones

I’m not discussing it @Sirzy , which sounds arsey, I just didn’t start the post for people to tell me I’m doing parenting all wrong 👍🏻

I have mixed feelings @Phineyj really. I was born in 1980 so had a free range childhood. I was also quite unusual as both my parents worked albeit as teachers so they were around in the school holidays. But I have no memories of what I did as a three year old, or even many as a four or five year old. A lot of them seem to have been endlessly in the back of the car driving to France but that would have been for two weeks max so I don’t know what I did for the other four. And I don’t doubt we were much more free range but that comes at a cost too. Two of my classmates were killed before we went to secondary school - one abducted and murdered and one in a drowning incident. Those PIVs give a glimpse into attitudes inherent at the time: that the onus was on young children to stay away from water or electricity pylons or railways and not on adults to supervise.

That being said screens are now a new menace and so is obesity.

It’s a tough one isn’t it? On balance I prefer things now. I’m mnackered though. And skint …

My Dh has no say in what’s spent over the holidays. Having said that we don’t actually spend all that much, this won’t go down well but anything we do spend has usually been saved for during the earlier part of the year. School holidays aren’t a suprise! I also work 3 days a week during the holidays so that’s 3 no spend days a week. My children also like staying at home some days and I’m a firm believer that they have to learn to be bored.

It’s actually my first summer with them both every day. So while the times haven’t come as a surprise the costs have!

I agree. Free range children is fine in some aspects, but I grew up having zero parent effort during holidays and I just remember most of it being super boring.

We also lived in a ‘ never buy an ice cream’ household. So now I generally let Ds have ice cream, buy crap from gift shops, go on €1 rides, etc. Not all the time, he has boundaries, but if there’s no reason why not then go ahead. Il have one also.

OK, well a good learning experience then?

Go through your bank statements and first of all establish what you did spend (if you're eating out of the house a lot, you may be eating less in it, and you're not travelling to work or eating there, so the overall impact may be less than you fear).

Make some notes on what went well and what didn't. Make some tentative plans for October half term.

Price up some memberships. What's good value and what isn't?

Maybe consider some days of holiday childcare here and there. It might be easier to entertain one child more efficiently than two - a lot of activities don't work equally well for two different ages.

Include something for yourself. It's supposed to be your school holiday not just a switch from one type of work to another!

That's what I'd do, anyway.

We had a big holiday before the holidays (term time) so ive tried to keep activities as cheap as possible. One primary, one teen. Lots of walks (they have always been on walks since toddlers and it does pay off in the long term), picnics, swimming, park with a friend. Clubcard points for meals out, vouchers left from Xmas for the cinema.

Biggest expense has been a ropes course but that was in between alot of free days walking/picnics. Helps if you live close to rural areas and lots of walks to go on. Try to take picnics wherever we go, stock up on picnic type foods when we do the weekly shop and ice creams mainly at home (occasional one out and about on big days out but not on every walk!).

Both of my kids are struggling with ideas for birthday and xmas so ive made a mental note for more vouchers from relatives this year. You cant change how much you’ve spent this Summer but could you ask family for vouchers for days out for future school holidays when they ask for present ideas?

Do you get the free national trust passes when they are given out? They are given out free with newspapers a few times a year and you can get as many as you want. Pack a picnic and it is a free day out (obviously just fuel on top).

Start a savings jar - could you put a few pounds in a week just for abit of extra money next Summer?

Our local holiday club is £20 a day (we use for our youngest when we’re both working). We always say its the cheapest day of entertainment there is! 😁 8.30-4, sports and activities all day and cheaper than buying ice creams for us all on a day out.

Not totally sure if this was aimed at me or not - I hope not.

Holiday clubs are only good if both out of the house; one is too young.

That's amazing! Is it a church or charity or something? I'd enjoy it while it survives...

We were talking with our Dd24 and 25 on Sunday about the summer hols (one teacher, one student/tutor now, so still filling their summer)

The things they remember most were mostly free or cheap.
We walked to the local field and fed the 2 goats (with grass from the field with the footpath, and "permission" from the sign beside their fence)
We went to the library once or twice a week to do the library challenge.
We went to the next city on the double decker bus - top, front where possible!
And... the cheapest activity when it was hot and I was out of ideas... a bucket of water and a 2 inch paintbrush - to "paint" the fence.
We did all of those repeatedly through the holiday, with a promise of an ice pop from the freezer after.