AIBU to feel fed up about how much summer holidays cost?

[jumpinthecoolpool]

Summer is nearly over thank god and despite trying we’ve spent an absolute fortune. Free things never actually are, there’s always a catch. I got fooled by a kids eat for £1 the other day and it still cost £40 for two adult meals and an hour in a tiny soft play my eldest was bored with after ten minutes.

Has anybody managed not to haemorrhage money? Have had some subtle criticisms from DH and I’m tired of it.

If you want to take it like that, then do so. It really wasn’t, as I clarified in my reply I meant the odd word and more looking through the pictures that’s why I put reading in inverted comments because most 5 year olds are at the early stages (mine were included in that).

Buy ice creams when you want, buy lunch out continually, keep spending, I am just trying to point out that getting into that habit now is so much harder to reverse when they’re older and can reason with you better. I have a friend who is a great mum but will tell me her children constantly demand ice creams, drinks, treats and she’s overwhelmed and it’s expensive for her but that’s what they’re used to, it’s not even a treat to them, it’s the standard they are used to.

That’s not me thinking I’m superior that’s me commenting on your thread telling you to rein it back in now whilst you can but you seem to want to engage with those who agree with you.

Ideally he would @Blondeshavemorefun but at the moment it isn’t possible unfortunately. It does make life extremely difficult but it is how it is for now, anyway.

Youngest is three and hasn’t slept in the day for a loooong time.

@OnlyUsername i do think the past is romanticised a lot - I don’t necessarily mean on here but more generally (social media is terrible for this ‘imagine we wake up and it’s 1996’ - oh really, Stephen Lawrence’s killers are still walking free, dunblane only happened a few months ago, the Good Friday agreement is yet to be signed and single mothers are still demonised, I’ll stay with 2026 thanks!) - there were definite advantages to how childhood used to look but it’s gone, it’s not coming back, children aren’t going to ‘play out’ and return when the street lights come on any more and most pertinently even if they DID three year olds didn’t, not as a rule, not unless they were heavily parentified by the eldest girl sibling.

Well, I’m very glad to see that’s the case @sparrowhawkhere . I apologise if I was defensive but it did look rather critical.

As it happens in fairly good with shutting down pleas and demands and begs. What I’m not so good with is the tantrum / meltdown, especially when it’s nearly the end of the day and I am trying to get everybody to the car. I’ve no issue saying no but sometimes a small treat just makes life that bit easier, and I need easy!

Well my son definitely eats a lot of ice cream

Well you have a week or less to go so next year hopefully will be easier

half term lots of Halloween stuff usually going on

make plans now to see friends in Oct

dh Can maybe take some holiday days next summer

See I am in the disagree camp!
Mine need taking out for the day to avoid screens. We exhausted NT when they were little so that fills them with dread.
Yes we will do walks etc but it isn't as easy to coax them along with a nature hunt or lets feed the ducks like we could when little.
Things like baking take an hour max. They read before bed, again an hour max.
To mine relaxing for my son is playing games and chatting to friends online.

When they were younger I felt we had it sussed and I could 'timetable' the week doing things people keep suggesting to the OP. Now those things don't exist.
Also some activities are so short lived they aren't worth it e.g. the latest point people suggesting the library reading challenge. Mine are doing it but to choose some books takes no time at all, and as already mentioned the library no longer do the activities they used to so a visit is literally to get a book taking 10 mins.

Half term isn’t a problem; after six weeks of this I can manage nine days no problemo. But I am flagging now, emotionally and financially.

When DD was small we got an annual pass for a local attraction and would take a picnic. I also got reduced price English Heritage membership through work so again I would pack a picnic and we’d head out for a ‘free’ day.

We would occasionally grab a drink/piece of cake or an ice cream but not all the time. The English Heritage also meant we could take a her friend for free sometimes which also meant DD was entertained (and her friends parents got a break!)

@jumpinthecoolpool OP I think you've done a great job continuing to engage with this thread, which has inevitably gone much the way of the puddlesuit threads in COVID (I'm still scarred by lockdown and being stuck at home with a very full on toddler). Were you even looking for advice or just to vent? Probably as much the latter or the former.

It's been an interesting read nevertheless. Here are a few of my thoughts:

• Perhaps it is my teacher salary but even a lot of these 'only £2' suggestions are kind of missing the point. That for me and two children plus parking is a tenner. I think even a tenner a day really adds up!

• We're big packed lunch makers (which I only cracked when both mine were past about age 3 or 4) but plenty of places don't let you take in your own food.

• To an extent, it's good manners to go with the majority sometimes. Other parents feel bad if you're denying your kids an ice cream whilst theirs are having one. Other parents suggest activities that cost money. You can't spend every single day saying no to everything. My parents did and I just look back on it as rather mean, not frugal.

• I spent the whole of the 90s playing out. That's why my parents didn't need to entertain me. I'd love if my kids could but they can't. No one even has a house phone now and the children are too young for mobiles so it's up to parents to set up playdates. Unfortunately there's no way of going back to how things were, even if we'd like to.

Thanks for the apology, I apologise for coming across that way. Listen, for all of us saying it gets worse with the demands and spending money, it’s easy to forget how hard it is with your children’s young ages, especially the energy required. Your DH working from home just adds do it all, I find that hard when it happens with us (also have a partner who works from home few days a week, I’m also a teacher).

Oh I remember the puddle suit threads! I was pregnant at the time and you’d be forgiven for thinking all you needed was a puddle suit and wellies and your child would be happy for twelve hours a day.

You’re so right about those ‘it’s only £2’ things - that was kind of what I was driving at with explaining it’s difficult with two. Costs really do rack up.

I honestly would like nothing more than to make some peanut butter sandwiches, a few bananas and a Frube and get on with the day but that’s just not where we are unfortunately I’m hoping DDs eating will improve a bit and she does eat healthily but that’s because I know what she’ll eat and can make dinners around that. Maybe one day.

When I look back now, doing stupid things like jumping off 9ft walls and playing around a disused mill pond, there were so many times I could have met a sticky end. Makes me feel a bit funny. I'd rather DS has a mate round here and they play Minecraft!

I am also a teacher who has 2 about the same age so I really feel you! I guess I like to remind myself how much we save on nursery fees by being term time only and justify making my life easier that way. We also don't go away or spend that much on holidays throughout the year in order to have more cash for all the school holidays, that's more to do with mine being really hard work away though tbh!

Do none of the 'children need to be bored, just leave them to entertain themselves ' have kids for which this just results in constant fighting?!

Not RTFT, but yes and no to the OP. On one hand I feel like we can't step out of the house without spending £20. But on the other hand, DC have been wanting to spend most of their time at home towards the end of the holidays (actually slightly annoying as I took the week off to spend with them). We've done one big day out to a big sports event, but otherwise they've mostly wanted to have friends round, or relax which involves too much screen time really. DC are 11 and 8 and I'm finding that if I want to get them out of the house, shorter local things like swimming/tennis/bike ride work better than zoos/National Trust etc. So next year I will be better prepared and keep this in mind.

Some young children are able to be independent and entertain themselves and some can not. Just like adults they re all different and have their own strengths and weaknesses. My nearly 4 & 3 year old are very independent and literally play independently and together happily all day long with minimal intervention from me but my older ones were like that also. I almost have to beg them to let me join in 🤣.

school holidays are expensive my older 5 are now either left school or teens so they spend most of their time vegging out or with friends. But when they were younger and with my youngest two I don’t spend much money. We’ve had two big days out that cost money all the other days we’ve done parks, picnics, garden days, walks and house days etc. and surprisingly the older ones did join in. I haven’t any more suggestions than those that have prob been mentioned. What i will say is I notice a difference between my sister and I. I am a stay at home mum, my sister a primary school teacher. Her school holidays with her two are very costly, they have an amazing time but less so on her bank balance. My niece and nephew are less easily entertained with walks, parks etc they seem to need days out that cost money. Where mine are happy with picnics in the woods, mini park crawls, walks etc. but my oldest ones who have left school always chat about their favourite school holidays and it’s all those activities that cost me minimal and we did have big costly days out every now and again but those never get talked about. I totally get it’s also about maintaining your own sanity, sometimes for our peace of mind it’s just easier to say yes 🙈🤣.

My husband likes to comment about the costs of days out when he is at work but then doesn’t think twice on him spending money to go to a theme park on a weekend when he isn’t at work. It’s annoying and incredibly frustrating but it’s not deliberate mine is just an idiot 🤣 xx