AIBU to feel fed up about how much summer holidays cost?

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Summer is nearly over thank god and despite trying we’ve spent an absolute fortune. Free things never actually are, there’s always a catch. I got fooled by a kids eat for £1 the other day and it still cost £40 for two adult meals and an hour in a tiny soft play my eldest was bored with after ten minutes.

Has anybody managed not to haemorrhage money? Have had some subtle criticisms from DH and I’m tired of it.

OP, this is the time when you can get away with spending less! Now mine are approaching being teenagers it’s hard due to influence of their friends (x goes there, y got this) and lack of free activities for older children. 3 and 5 are perfect ages for all the free activities.

I also don’t add lunch on unless it’s a special treat, we just go home or bring food with us. I know you’d have to find more options for your 3 year old but worth saving the money.

Yes of course - it's your thread?

I mean it's absolutely fine to not find my suggestions useful. I am another teacher though, in an expensive bit of the country, 10 years on from where you are in terms of filling school holidays.

I general I think the idea summer holidays have to be expensive with small kids is unreasonable. I really don't think most parents need to spend much, though it can be tiring not to lean on the convenience of paying for things instead of sorting your own.

In your case though, having to be out of the house for 8 hours a day (and I totally get why you don't feel you can be home with your DH WFH) I think it's bound to cost a bit if it's not going to be utterly miserable.

It does sound like you could save a significant amount if you cracked the food thing. Picnics don't have to be sandwiches. You can take almost any food with you if you have the right lunch boxes, and it would be healthier than relying on restaurants. I totally get it if you just can't be bothered making up the food in the morning or the night before, though. You're out all day with the kids and must be wrecked! If your DH moans about it again I'd tell him to get up off his arse and go into the office if he doesn't want you spending so much (or keep the kids home for a day or two and make no effort at all to mitigate things for him). Though it's probably more reasonable to point out how much it would cost to put them in holiday clubs instead.

next year it may be worth looking at a national trust membership. Not sure how many visits you’d need to do for a family one to pay for itself but an adult one is around 5 trips. You can then take a picnic and even if you don’t go round the property you can picnic in the garden and the kids can play.

@AmnesiacsDream i know but what can I realistically do? If she won’t eat, she won’t eat and trust me, she won’t eat if you follow me. I really don’t like her going from morning (and she barely touches breakfast) until dinner with just tiny amounts.

In an ideal world we wouldn’t be out as much but this is not an ideal world <sigh>.

@Loulou4022 we have a NT membership, and a membership for a big adventure farm place and a wildlife park with play areas and a little soft play if the weathers bad. I just don’t feel it’s saved much, as the majority of the costs aren’t the booking the places, it’s what you spend when you’re there - fuel, food, trail costs or whatever it is. It may just be me of course, but this is definitely what I have found! And DDs picky eating is a nuisance as I can’t just pack a picnic.

Ahh yes I see your point there then.

I can never be bothered but then I’d rather the money I saved was used for something else so I tell myself to stop being lazy and get on with it!

I think it’s also about the attitudes you raise your children with and your expectations. My children (tweens) know they are very lucky to have a holiday abroad, to have a car so we can go all over and to go on days out. From being young they knew gift shops are a no go, they don’t always get an ice cream out and lunch out is a big treat. Sounds mean but then I remind them because we’ve saved money with lunch, you can choose something from the (cheaper) shop, have a takeaway at the end of the week or I can add it to their pocket money so they have more to spend when they go shopping next.
And I do buy lunch out, get an ice cream fairly often in the holidays and now and again get them something from the gift shop but as we go out most days, it isn’t a daily thing so they appreciate it when we do it.

I’m not perfect, I waste money and kick myself for doing it, they’re not perfect, they feel fed up Im
bringing a packed lunch again but in general they are very good and appreciate the day out itself and don’t expect extras all the time. I then use the money I save to plan for the October half term.

Yes, sadly I think it's a world that has faded away. My grandchildren have very different lives from their parents' childhoods and massively different from mine.

I was like the little children in the first episode of the documentary "7 Up" who walked to school unsupervised at the age of 6 or 7. Those days of freedom are long gone.

I think the biggest difference between the generations is in the number of mothers who were SAHM. My mother never went out to work again after having her first baby. I too gave up working when my first DC was born and only returned to part-time, term-time only working when the youngest was at school. So, as far as the kids were concerned, I was there all the time - I waved them off onto the school minibus at 8.30 and was there to meet them at the bus stop at 3.30.
I didn't return to full-time work until my youngest DC left home for university.
I was very fortunate that we didn't need a second salary in order to pay the mortgage. We were not well off, but we had enough to get by on DH's salary alone.

This sounds great but in reality this isn’t what happens.
We live in London and as much as you think there’s amazing free things, it’s just a con.

We went to the science museum this week. Yes you can go in free BUT all the really amazing and interactive stuff is paid entry. Also it’s school holidays and it’s heaving. the paid for entry ensures manageable crowds and the kids actually have time to gain something from that trip.
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Also who is carrying out magnums in their bag 🤣 an ice cream is part of the day out.
My kids are also picky eaters. I have NEVER been able to throw sandwiches together or anything. My kids would eat much better on a full day out with a proper meal. So that’s food as well.
I joked to dh that we need to spend £100 minimum on a day out anywhere and we do.
We can easily afford this, but I grew up really poor and did none of this stuff and don’t want my kids to miss out when there is so much to do today.

I always used to say it was impossible to leave the house without spending £20 in the summer hols and my 2 are in their 20s now.
The park was far more entertaining if we were meeting up with other family members - we'd all take food and drinks and then one of the adults would make the 5 min walk to the supermarket for a couple of boxes of ice creams.
Its bloody hard work if you dont have friends or family with similar age kids.
Might be worth both you and DH both putting a bit of money into a 'fun' account each payday for future hols. It doesnt seem as expensive when the money was earmarked for days out and its fun to do stuff with the kids while theyre still young enough to want to spend time with you.

@Makebelieveanotherlife I am very glad it isn’t just me. It seems pointless and even more of a waste of money to make a virtuous picnic no one wants. And then I have to carry it around!

Some of those things only take up 10 minutes though. When your facing down 13 hours with little one's all day for 6 weeks it's not going to get you very far. None of mine would ever do the old paint brush on the fence or on the slabs activity. I'd spend longer setting up those kind of activities than mine would ever play with it.

We don't have the funds for expensive days out or buying the ice creams but I can absolutely see how many do To fill up some time or get some sanity. The 6 weeks can be a long hard slog for many of us.

The library challenge is a bit rubbish with preschool non readers 😂

Mine will play independently in bursts but they are relatively short bursts and I just don’t believe any three year old is content amusing themselves for hours on end every single day at home. I just don’t.

i usually need to buy extra drinks and we always go to supermarket / M&S and buy a 2 litre bottle for under £1 and fill everyone’s bottles up from that. I refuse to buy individual drinks for all.

But your 5 year old presumably can read very simple books if they are about to start Year 1?
No young children aren’t going to entertain themselves all day but a free activity, visit to the library and let them look at the books and ‘read’ to themselves, a park visit, a picnic (not virtuous, just not wanting to spend loads on food) and that’s already taken up a lot of the day. Children then play at home, needing input from you, but also being able to occupy themselves for a while e.g. draw, build, pretend play etc.

I generally prefer to eat in a restaurant when out, but when I've needed to save money I make whatever they like to eat at home and take that.

When young they really liked a selection of things to pick at, (crudités, humous, cold meat or fish, bread sticks, pitta bread, cucumber slices, cherry tomatoes, cheese, yoghurt, cake, fruit, etc. which is a pretty easy picnic to throw together. But when that had got too boring I would take spag bol, chili with bread, cold chicken tenders and chips (they seemed to prefer this over hot!), etc. pretty much anything they would eat at home. Got good thermos containers and a well insulated bag. And used hot/cold packs. (If you're out for 8 hours you might also want a car kettle to make a tea or coffee late in the day as hot thermos only lasts 4ish hours). But it's hard work to put it all together and unless you really don't have the money, I think it's reasonable to see eating out as a normal family expense when you're taking kids out of the house for 8 hours.

Haemorrhaging money here too!

I have teens, we don't do days out, and they have been away most of the summer on
Christian youth camp
Christian sailing camp
Cadet camp
Camping with friends
Work experience with a family member.

All the costs of those, plus their train tickets, and just bits and bobs (new cadet trousers etc) have meant we're ending the holidays completely skint!!

FYI cadets is the cheapest activity in the world generally as subsidised by the MOD, so that one didnt add a huge amount. But still!!

You don't have to spend lots of money. I am a member of EH/HH/NT, so although it adds up to £2-300 a year, it's actually really cheap when you think how many days out come of it

Currently on a 10 night holiday, and accomodation, food, activities, fuel etc and it will probably come in at around £8-900 total cost, which I think is very cheap really, especially as it covers the BH weekend.

Days out we have picnics with food made at home.

You have to carry it then, though, which is a right pain.

@CoffeeandCakeBreak i know. We are NT members, it is just the actual entry price doesn’t tend to be the problem as much as whatever is inside. I don’t mind NT but in all honesty the ones round here are a bit samey.

@AmnesiacsDream problem is she just doesn’t eat those sorts of food. I wish she did more than anything but that isn’t where we’re at just at the moment.

Only the sort of phonics books he’s sent home with. He wouldn’t be able to sit and read a book independently, even a simple one. I know some children can at this stage; they’re all different.

Has he never sat with a picture book and gone through it on his own?

Another teacher parent here (with 3) so I remember it well. I was always very careful about what we did and didn’t do any ‘kids eat for a pound’ type thing because the price of the meal out for the adults was out of the budget.

We often did several big days out paid for by Tesco Clubcard vouchers. Days out which would involve taking picnics-we didn’t really do buying ice creams or snacks when out when they were small, and pretty much always bypassed the gift shop! We did lots of walks in the woods, afternoons at the park, trips to the library to get books (didn’t do the library summer read when they were tiny but still always went), play dates with friends, baking etc. We also went to friends’ houses and visited relatives.

The days were long and busy but we still had plenty of nice things to do without spending too much of a fortune.

When mine were small enough to need entertaining we did a lot of free or cheap things.

We had a railcard so train trips were fairly cheap
Library on the bus
Park
Friends
Paddling in stream
Paddling pool at home
Picking blackberries
Planting seeds
Board game day
Watching a DVD
etc

And we'd normally take a packed lunch. If we ate out it would be an ice cream or a drink and a cake

I can hear the incredulous tone from here.

No.

Conversation over, if you please 👍🏻