AIBU to refuse apologising after being blocked in at Tesco?

[ThisIsAbsolutelyCrazy]

So, yesterday I go to Tesco with DH. DH is a wheelchair user and has a Blue Badge.

There were no disabled bays or parent and child bays so I went to a far corner of the car park where there were two empty rows of normal bays and parked between 2 bays so had room for DH to get in and out.

Lo and behold we came back to a car parked so close to my driver's side that I couldn't get between the cars - less than 10 inches in between. The car had parked over into the bay I had half parked in.

We were obviously WTF. The other bays around us were still empty.

Coming round to the front of the cars, we saw there was a young lad no more that 15-17 sitting in the passenger seat of the other car. He obviously couldn't get out of his door either because it was up against mine! I said 'what kind of idiot would park like this' or some such. He said 'my dad'. Then asked him why he'd blocked him in.as well. He didn't answer and just kept his head down. I will admit I did swear a bit saying for fucks sake, this is fucking disgusting. Then said 'tell your Dad he's a complete cunt'. At no point did I make threats to the lad or swear at him. I knew he didn't park the car.

Anyway I then climbed in through the passenger side, moved the car into the row in front, got DH in and we left.

The Dad had not come back. I'm kicking myself because I didn't take a picture of the way he'd parked.

Anyway, tonight at around 8pm there's a knock at the door and two policemen are there. My heart dropped because I thought it was about one of the DC (both were out with friends), but they said they'd had a complaint about me causing 'fear and alarm' to a minor!

Turns out the Dad must have already had my reg number and told the police what I'd said. No mention of how he'd blocked me deliberately and left his son trapped in the car!

He must have known whoever came back to the car would be angry!

Anyway police said I could make a formal apology to the boy and the matter would not be taken further - this was because I admitted swearing.

I said No I will not as I had figured out by then that the Dad had done this all deliberately. No clue who he is.

AIBU to think he must be an absolute psycho?

Especially to leave his son trapped in the car!

Regardless of your behaviour, u am shocked the police came out about that! Total waste of police time

😂 you think this is a social care matter, don't be ridiculous. From someone who works in that field, there's not a hope that social care would pick this up, the referral would give everyone a laugh though

What a vile way to speak to a young lad.
How do you know he didn’t have disabilities and why didn’t you wait for his Father to return, rather than take it out on him?
Why do you feel using the C word is acceptable?
You have made yourself look cheap and entitled.

Ummmm swearing isn't a crime is it regardless of the ins and outs of this incident I too cannot believe the police are requesting any action when no crime has been committed.

It really jumps out at me that nearly everyone thinks you were really rude and in the wrong and you just don’t want to hear it.

You started it by parking across 2 bays. Your husband could get out the car and then you could have parked properly, same for leaving.

I am actually surprised the police are dealing with this!

I am a bit confused over some of your points though. You say the teenager was trapped, and who does that, but surely they weren't trapped and could climb over the seat to the side that wasn't trapped.

Also I now understand you parked across spaces. I thought when you were saying you went to the end of the car park where no one else was you meant you just did that so there would be more room and less chance of someone parking close. Is it correct you then parked not in a space but in the middle of two?
If there was no other cars then the better option would have been to park normally. If no one generally parks there and if was quite empty then you would be unlucky if someone did park up close.
You are right in thinking maybe this man did it to be annoying but maybe he did it as just thought you were parking like an idiot. I agree it wasn't the sons fault though and rather than having a go at him maybe going back into the shop and explaining to them the situation would have been for the best. You could have then told them the reason for your dodgy parking and they could then perhaps tannoyed the owner over to explain to them and ask then to move their car.

If you can’t see why asking a kid to pass a message on to his dad that he’s a cunt isn’t problematic then yes, you have issues. You took up 2 spaces, the dad was probably peeved you had done this and likely didn’t see the blue badge so he blocked you in to make a point.

Apart from anything else, the son could have climbed over to the driver side if he needed/wanted to get out, so he wasn’t ‘trapped’

What the dad did was self-righteous trying to "teach you a lesson"

What you did was verbal abuse to someone not involved and likely unable to move the car.

IMO you should apologise the teen didn't deserve either of you behaving poorly.

What sort of mamby pamby generation of kids are we bringing up these days. Boo hoo, she swore and it scared me. The police should find something worthy of their time to investigate.

I think OP was wrong for swearing but it’s pretty obvious the other driver deliberately blocked her in. He’s parked in one of her bay because she used more than one. Most people would see the blue badge and the far away location of the parking and understand.

You can’t really part across 2 bays so they thought you had parked like a dick and blocked you. The teenager or the parent took a photo of your number plate because of parking or when you started ranting. The teenager probably didn’t want to go in shop anyway. You cannot go ranting and swearing at people you will frighten him. I think you should apologise to the boy.

The sort who realises verbal abuse is abuse?

As a blue badge holder I understand the frustrations of trying to park . But I can see this from both sides. I have teen grandchildren in the 13-17 age range. If one of them was spoken to in this manner by a stranger I would be livid 😡

This lad sitting alone in the car didn’t ask for an arsehole father and it wasn’t his fault. It must have been intimidating for him to be hemmed in in a sitting position with OP leaning over him swearing.

Just because OP is a carer it doesn't give her the right to have a foul moth and be abusive.

Is it good behaviour to tell a minor to tell his father that he's a cunt?
I don't think so?

Is it more that they considered this woman unhinged? Parking in a random way (to them) then kicking off at a teenager.
Yeah teens are exposed to swearing but not in this kind of context.

She used a ‘hurty word’ (what a cringe expression) towards a child,

So if you don't apologise then what happens?

So what did the police say when you refused to apologise?

If you wanted to say something, you should have gone back into the store and asked them to make an announcement for that car owner or waited for him. You do not use language like that in front of a kid.

Did the police say they would inform the man that you parked that way to allow wheelchair access into your car?

He was wrong to park like he did to prove a point. You were wrong to swear at a minor. I hate when people take their anger out on the wrong person. This is a child. It doesn’t matter if most teens have heard such language, this poor child is being raised by a man you think is a cunt. That is punishment enough.
You were frustrated, I do understand having several disabled family members who face parking struggles on a daily basis. But this child was not responsible for ANY of it.
Take a hard look at your own actions and imagine how you’d feel if it was your child. It is intimidating to be approached by an angry adult when you are on your own. It will stay with him. Not only does he already know his dad can be an absolute dick, he now also knows he can be held responsible for his dad’s actions. Well done OP, you lowered yourself. What a disgusting world we live in when you defend yourself swearing at children who have done nothing wrong.
Yes the man was a cunt. Maybe you should have waited around to speak to him directly if you couldn’t control yourself in front of his son.

his son wasnt trapped, surely he could sit in the other passenger seat?

The police do a huge amount of getting involved in non-crime incidents because it's an easy way to get their statistics up. The public do not consider this policing and would rather have shoplifting addressed (which according to retailers it isn't) and burglaries investigated.

Especially if a man said it.

The lad wasn't at fault and I think it might be better to apologise and move on.

this is such a waste of police time