AIBU to refuse apologising after being blocked in at Tesco?

[ThisIsAbsolutelyCrazy]

So, yesterday I go to Tesco with DH. DH is a wheelchair user and has a Blue Badge.

There were no disabled bays or parent and child bays so I went to a far corner of the car park where there were two empty rows of normal bays and parked between 2 bays so had room for DH to get in and out.

Lo and behold we came back to a car parked so close to my driver's side that I couldn't get between the cars - less than 10 inches in between. The car had parked over into the bay I had half parked in.

We were obviously WTF. The other bays around us were still empty.

Coming round to the front of the cars, we saw there was a young lad no more that 15-17 sitting in the passenger seat of the other car. He obviously couldn't get out of his door either because it was up against mine! I said 'what kind of idiot would park like this' or some such. He said 'my dad'. Then asked him why he'd blocked him in.as well. He didn't answer and just kept his head down. I will admit I did swear a bit saying for fucks sake, this is fucking disgusting. Then said 'tell your Dad he's a complete cunt'. At no point did I make threats to the lad or swear at him. I knew he didn't park the car.

Anyway I then climbed in through the passenger side, moved the car into the row in front, got DH in and we left.

The Dad had not come back. I'm kicking myself because I didn't take a picture of the way he'd parked.

Anyway, tonight at around 8pm there's a knock at the door and two policemen are there. My heart dropped because I thought it was about one of the DC (both were out with friends), but they said they'd had a complaint about me causing 'fear and alarm' to a minor!

Turns out the Dad must have already had my reg number and told the police what I'd said. No mention of how he'd blocked me deliberately and left his son trapped in the car!

He must have known whoever came back to the car would be angry!

Anyway police said I could make a formal apology to the boy and the matter would not be taken further - this was because I admitted swearing.

I said No I will not as I had figured out by then that the Dad had done this all deliberately. No clue who he is.

AIBU to think he must be an absolute psycho?

Especially to leave his son trapped in the car!

That it's very annoying when people take up multiple spaces because they can't park properly, it happens all the time! Obviously your situation absolutely warranted it, but I'm assuming he didn't see the blue badge and just thought you were another idiot who can't park properly and wanted to make a point by blocking the driver's side door. Petty and not necessary at all, but your response in swearing at his innocent child was ridiculous.

She doesn’t want to give one.

You didn’t swear at him….. except when you said fuck repeatedly and told him his dad was a cunt?

I get your annoyance about the parking but quite honestly this tendency to go from 1 to 100 in response to everything is getting ridiculous.

You aren’t being unreasonable for being affronted by the parking; you are definitely unreasonable for hitting a kid with a volley of abuse.

You’re not coming across as a completely calm and reasonable person yourself.

Just be grateful you didn’t also get a parking ticket (I’ve seen it happen to people using multiple bays at a car park local to me - blue badge or large vehicle apparently no defence!) and let it go.

I know that. I’m asking if you think the boy deserves an apology.

From his Dad yes!

Yabu your language was foul and uncalled for.
Learn to navigate situations properly.

Why use such appalling language? There seem to be a few threads recently where the OP seems to be proud of swearing at people.

Obviously you would be pissed off but i think it’s out of line to speak like that to anyone in public, especially a minor, and you shouldn’t have done it.

Annoying, yes, but your actions were those the police can action, not his.
my DS 14 and even DD17 would be really alarmed had they come across you, you do need to apologise to the son.
the father is an arsehole, but you had no business taking your wrath out on the son

The majority on this thread disagree and think you behaved really badly towards the boy. But clearly it’s going to be one of those AIBUs….

Do I believe it’s a good use of police time to knock on the OPs door and threaten her into apologising to a teenager for swearing. No I don’t think that is a good use of police time.

If there were so many empty bays why did you have to park cross two? Why not in the middle of three empty ones?

My spelling is far from perfect, but "nethermind" is really weird. I can't even see how that could be a typo.

Cunt is a word Id use sparingly for the worst behaviour imagineable.

You parked badly (blue badge or not, youre not allowed to straddle two bays) then unleashed a torrent of foul mouthed abuse at a teenager.

The only psycho is you i'm afraid.

I'm a wheelchair user but would not park across two bays . Maybe you should have waited for a disabled space . The car park was obviously very busy . Yabu for swearing and ranting at a kid . An alternative would be to wait for the driver to come out !

In some shop car parks you would have got a ticket for parking like that .

Did the cops explain the possible consequences of declining to make an apology to the lad?

Again, that wasn’t my question but you’ve made your view clear that for some reason you don’t believe the boy deserves to be treated decently.

Wow. All this handwringing over a teenager hearing some swear words (which he probably hears every day from his friends and on the internet and possibly from his unbalanced father too).

If you haven't lived life as a carer for a disabled person, especially one who is wheelchair bound, you really need to stop judging the OP. Just the fact that the OP had to park in the far corner of a lot and get her dh out of the vehicle and into a wheelchair which then had to be wheeled across the parking lot, just to do their shopping is a shameful comment on a first world society's interest in helping the less fortunate. And then to have that compounded by some guy who is role modeling the worst behavior for his teenage son is beyond the pale. Maybe OP's expression of anger and frustration and expression will teach the teenager that his father behaved badly.

P.S. There are some recent studies that say that people who swear when expressing frustration live longer...frankly the OP has enough on her plate without having to keep her emotions curtailed to save the poor teenager's sensibilities.

Do NOT apologize and do NOT accept a caution.

Absolutely no excuse for sweating at or around a minor. Poor boy having to endure such rubbish from an adult who should know better. I suggest you apologise immediately

Theres always a polite way to resolve issues, no need for a potty mouth.

It was a row of empty spaces. No cars.

Might be the same kind of person who deliberately halts in front of you so you rear-end them, then claims damages for their pretend whiplash.

Some people get weird kicks out of making others' lives difficult. I'm sorry this happened to you - the man clearly is a cunt - but he's got you on the back foot here. Apologise.

Ah right, so it’s okay, and even positive, to swear at a young lad who hasn’t done anything wrong (and who might himself have a disability, or anxiety, or a mental health problem), if your DH is disabled. Makes complete sense 🙄

I think it’s an overreach on behalf of the police. I have literally no opinion on the rest of it. If the OP wants to apologise that’s up to her but she should not be compelled to apologise by a couple of PCSOs on her doorstep.

Its a stupid eay to teach a lesson as once the OP had gone... the stupid man was the one parked across two spaces for no obvious reason.