AIBU to refuse apologising after being blocked in at Tesco?

[ThisIsAbsolutelyCrazy]

So, yesterday I go to Tesco with DH. DH is a wheelchair user and has a Blue Badge.

There were no disabled bays or parent and child bays so I went to a far corner of the car park where there were two empty rows of normal bays and parked between 2 bays so had room for DH to get in and out.

Lo and behold we came back to a car parked so close to my driver's side that I couldn't get between the cars - less than 10 inches in between. The car had parked over into the bay I had half parked in.

We were obviously WTF. The other bays around us were still empty.

Coming round to the front of the cars, we saw there was a young lad no more that 15-17 sitting in the passenger seat of the other car. He obviously couldn't get out of his door either because it was up against mine! I said 'what kind of idiot would park like this' or some such. He said 'my dad'. Then asked him why he'd blocked him in.as well. He didn't answer and just kept his head down. I will admit I did swear a bit saying for fucks sake, this is fucking disgusting. Then said 'tell your Dad he's a complete cunt'. At no point did I make threats to the lad or swear at him. I knew he didn't park the car.

Anyway I then climbed in through the passenger side, moved the car into the row in front, got DH in and we left.

The Dad had not come back. I'm kicking myself because I didn't take a picture of the way he'd parked.

Anyway, tonight at around 8pm there's a knock at the door and two policemen are there. My heart dropped because I thought it was about one of the DC (both were out with friends), but they said they'd had a complaint about me causing 'fear and alarm' to a minor!

Turns out the Dad must have already had my reg number and told the police what I'd said. No mention of how he'd blocked me deliberately and left his son trapped in the car!

He must have known whoever came back to the car would be angry!

Anyway police said I could make a formal apology to the boy and the matter would not be taken further - this was because I admitted swearing.

I said No I will not as I had figured out by then that the Dad had done this all deliberately. No clue who he is.

AIBU to think he must be an absolute psycho?

Especially to leave his son trapped in the car!

Agreed. The language that comes out of the mouths of kids nowadays is unreal. This one will probably end up like his dad, as OP correctly stated.......a cunt 🤣🤣

OP doesn’t say the blue badge was on display?

I would apologise only by saying 'I apologise for swearing however the reason behind my upset was because' then I would put in the letter WHY you parked as you did (needed to get wheelchair out, no disabled spaces free etc) and that how by parking how the driver of the other car did they blocked a disabled person and their carer being able to get back into their own car.

That's the only apology they would be getting from me.

What an horrendous waste of Police time.

You were selfish and entitled taking up two bays. My absolute pet hate. "I'm here now, so fuck everyone else". Your husband is in a wheelchair, yes. How do you know someone else wasn't on the way who also is?

Police is a massive overreaction though. I don't know what that now means for you. Do you have some sort of a police record? Is it something you now have to declare if you want to go to the USA, for example?

No idea what crime is supposed to have been committed here!

Interested in what yournhusband did in all this.

Did he pile on and further intimidate the boy? Or, like the boy, was he simply caught in the crossfire?

I think you would have been more impactful if you had asked the boy to tell his dad that there were no disabled spaces left, hence parking at the far end across two bays as you need the space to access the car, and point out how him parking so close has made a difficult day even harder for you. I’m assuming your blue badge was on display? I agree with you that the dad driver should be ashamed, I doubt he is though unfortunately.

FGS. This just proves my point.

You were wrong at every stage. The police involvement seems a tad disproportionate, but you still behave badly and embarrassed yourself.

He obviously has higher standards than those who need to use vile language.

I dont think telling a 15-17 yr old to "tell you Dad hes a cunt" was wise even if understandable given your frustrations at his Dads inconsiderate parking.
The "alarm and distress" is somewhat subjective though. That someoens perception of speech can make something a crime seems OTT.
What do you want to do now?

Complete with all the comments here about "hurty words". Personally I know what I think of people who use that term.

Terrible behaviour to intimidate a minor, I don’t think you are understanding this.

@ThisIsAbsolutelyCrazy not a lot shocks me but this has . I can’t believe the way you spoke to that young boy it was disgusting .
The father is right to have made a complaint . You did cause fear and alarm .
You sound horrible

I can see why you were annoyed but he obviously did not see your blue badge. He behaved like an idiot to park the way he did and clearly judged your parking too. But the poor boy it sounds like he knew his dad was an idiot but to swear like you did could be intimidating.

What horrendous language OP, although I'll admit that I visited the UK last year after living there for 16 years and I did notice people had become for want of a better word "coarser", more harried, more like Americans actually. Anyway not to discuss politics or COL or general anxieties but yes I do understand your feeling ; as others have pointed out two wrongs don't make a right. I would be tempted to offer a rambling politician's apology, along the lines of "I am terribly sorry you interpreted my language as rude or offensive and I could seem seem threatening to you", something along those lines.

I wouldn’t be apologisng

and I’d tell police to review the cctv so they can see the full story.

and what a complete waste if police time and taxpayer money !

the dad us most likely a controlling abusive c*nt- if he’s like this out and about imagine what he’s like at home ! Poor kid

Oh dear, his dad played a nasty little game there didn't he? Thats gonna be another messed up young man walking the streets. Great.
I get it @ThisIsAbsolutelyCrazy BUT you shouldn't have taken your frustration out on a teenage lad who was there through no fault of his own. I bet he was mortified.
What did the police say after you refused? Did they just leave?

And kid I expect uses vile language - it’s rife in schools and teens !

I'm so glad the police came knocking at your door. That's exactly what you deserved.

You need to go to an anger management course because you clearly have a problem.

I think you are the one behaving like a psycho .

It's section 5 of the Public Order Act 1986, so 40 years ago, not 30, and Thatcher, not Blair.

Perhaps the other driver should do the same rather than deliberately blocking someone when there is a plethora of empty spaces!!

Higher standards, I doubt that, given the actions of his father. In WW2, boys were fighting and dying for their country. These days they would refuse because they might get muddy. We are bringing up a generation of entitled, spineless numpties.
God help us.

Oh and ignore the posters gleefully rushing to tell you what an awful person you are. I would imagine you've had a few telling you you were selfish taking up two spaces despite needing them for the wheelchair.
These posters have something missing, pity them.

The Dad is an arsehole, but you scared a child by effing and blinding at him about his Dad when he was on his own and you knew it wasn't his fault. Just apologise. Two wrongs don't make a right. I'm sorry the Dad was a dick but you escalated it and need to apologise for that.