AIBU to refuse apologising after being blocked in at Tesco?

[ThisIsAbsolutelyCrazy]

So, yesterday I go to Tesco with DH. DH is a wheelchair user and has a Blue Badge.

There were no disabled bays or parent and child bays so I went to a far corner of the car park where there were two empty rows of normal bays and parked between 2 bays so had room for DH to get in and out.

Lo and behold we came back to a car parked so close to my driver's side that I couldn't get between the cars - less than 10 inches in between. The car had parked over into the bay I had half parked in.

We were obviously WTF. The other bays around us were still empty.

Coming round to the front of the cars, we saw there was a young lad no more that 15-17 sitting in the passenger seat of the other car. He obviously couldn't get out of his door either because it was up against mine! I said 'what kind of idiot would park like this' or some such. He said 'my dad'. Then asked him why he'd blocked him in.as well. He didn't answer and just kept his head down. I will admit I did swear a bit saying for fucks sake, this is fucking disgusting. Then said 'tell your Dad he's a complete cunt'. At no point did I make threats to the lad or swear at him. I knew he didn't park the car.

Anyway I then climbed in through the passenger side, moved the car into the row in front, got DH in and we left.

The Dad had not come back. I'm kicking myself because I didn't take a picture of the way he'd parked.

Anyway, tonight at around 8pm there's a knock at the door and two policemen are there. My heart dropped because I thought it was about one of the DC (both were out with friends), but they said they'd had a complaint about me causing 'fear and alarm' to a minor!

Turns out the Dad must have already had my reg number and told the police what I'd said. No mention of how he'd blocked me deliberately and left his son trapped in the car!

He must have known whoever came back to the car would be angry!

Anyway police said I could make a formal apology to the boy and the matter would not be taken further - this was because I admitted swearing.

I said No I will not as I had figured out by then that the Dad had done this all deliberately. No clue who he is.

AIBU to think he must be an absolute psycho?

Especially to leave his son trapped in the car!

"For a case to succeed in court the person who heard the words must feel threatened by them."

Many posters have already linked to the relevant legislation. Threatened is one factor but distress or alarm caused by abusive language is another. The fact that police have already attended op's address also suggest you are wrong.

i don’t think she deserves that. What she needs is an off ramp
What age needs is to apologise and the whole episode will be over with. She doesn't even have to mean it! How hard is that! You have to be very stubborn to refuse to do so out of principle when you're not even right in the first place.

You were not wrong to be angry
But you were wrong to take your anger out on a child, using foul language.

I very much agree, she has been clear on what she has done and lets be fair, in the recounting has probably glossed over bits.

But I think everyone is overlooking an important point here. The car the poster is complaining about may have a modern 360‑degree camera system or surround‑view cameras or simpler dashcam, in which case it will have recorded the Posters car, including reg, and her subsequent abuse of the passenger. So Dad might not have had to take photos of anything and I am sure he will show that to the Police?

You sound really upset. A simply sorry would have sufficed. You parked over two parks this is a dick move in most peoples book no matter what the situation. Instead of just climbing through and going on your way you had to go full on and swear at a kid. You could have been the bigger person and not cared.

There speaks someone for whom timing and planning are no issue. But the OP can't necessarily spend an hour hanging around with her disabled husband in the event someone happens not to perfectly legitimately park next to her. She has signalled by doing this that she has a need to do it.
Deliberately cutting off anyone's exit like that is more than twattish. Even if there were no disability. You'd look and think - there's some sort of problem there I'll leave it alone. Or report if you really felt compelled to do something.

How likely is it that his mum would have done that statistically I wonder

“another one lacking in reading comprehension skills”

”utter bollocks”

Look, I can see why you were annoyed at the situation in Tesco. Up until you opened your mouth, the other guy was the one being a twat.

But even your replies here show that your default response to feeling angry (even minor anger on an online forum) is to use insults and swearing.

That is not a mature or helpful response to anger. It’s got you into trouble at Tesco, and it’s riling people up on here. It is very possible to feel incandescent with rage but still express yourself reasonably without verbally abusing other people. I think this is something you need to reflect on.

Someone wanting space to get their disabled partner out of the car is a ' dick move' ?
What exactly is a ' dick move' ?
Would you be happier if she damaged someone's car in the process?

Personally if an angry woman told my 15 year old boy alone in the car to “tell your dad he is a cunt” I would be very upset about it.

The boy kept his head down and I think this tells you what he felt.

The fact that the police think it worthy of intervention also tell you something.

just apologise OP.

The issue of whether the father is a is a separate one. He’s clearly behaved awfully too, parking right up to you like that. I’m sure the father may well not be a very pleasant man.

But that’s a separate issue.

This issue is about you and the boy.

OK, fair enough if you abused the lad calmly and without raising your voice at all - although 'shouting' doesn't always mean at top volume and is often understood to suggest aggression and threats, regardless of the volume.

It WAS abuse - words like that are abusive words, and you admit yourself that you said them. If somebody randomly phoned you up and said the exact same thing to you - just as you randomly said them to a random innocent teenager - I think you would likely consider that abuse. He also wouldn't have known what level of threat you might have posed to him, after your opening salvo. Adults who speak like that to random people-who-are-too-young-to-be-adults yet (as some people on this thread seem to object to the word 'child') are automatically to be distrusted as to their motives and subsequent behaviours and treated with extreme caution.

Your frustration was very justified; and if you'd seen the person who chose to park like that and directed your tirade at him, I don't think most people would blame you - although you would likely be far more successful in remaining calm and educating him (and giving him just cause to feel small and stupid), rather than throwing the moral high ground that you already had.

The overriding issue is that you refuse to accept that you simply cannot justifiably abuse an innocent person because somebody else has done you wrong, however angry the actual miscreant has made you. You pointedly targeted some filthy, offensive words at a teenager because somebody else had selfishly caused you problems.

In my view, parking across two bays usually signals “my car is more important than everyone else’s car and I am more important that everyone else” not “there is some sort of problem here”.

I’m not saying this was OPs thinking but it is how most people would read this “signal”.

Surely the only reason you would refuse to apologise for an aggressive sweary tirade at somebody would be because you believed that they deserved it? Can you please clarify to us what you believe the teenage boy had done to deserve this?

I was making a point about the wordplay going on about swearing at v swearing I’m sorry I can’t work out how to finish the sentence because it’s so clearly still swearing at