AIBU to refuse apologising after being blocked in at Tesco?

[ThisIsAbsolutelyCrazy]

So, yesterday I go to Tesco with DH. DH is a wheelchair user and has a Blue Badge.

There were no disabled bays or parent and child bays so I went to a far corner of the car park where there were two empty rows of normal bays and parked between 2 bays so had room for DH to get in and out.

Lo and behold we came back to a car parked so close to my driver's side that I couldn't get between the cars - less than 10 inches in between. The car had parked over into the bay I had half parked in.

We were obviously WTF. The other bays around us were still empty.

Coming round to the front of the cars, we saw there was a young lad no more that 15-17 sitting in the passenger seat of the other car. He obviously couldn't get out of his door either because it was up against mine! I said 'what kind of idiot would park like this' or some such. He said 'my dad'. Then asked him why he'd blocked him in.as well. He didn't answer and just kept his head down. I will admit I did swear a bit saying for fucks sake, this is fucking disgusting. Then said 'tell your Dad he's a complete cunt'. At no point did I make threats to the lad or swear at him. I knew he didn't park the car.

Anyway I then climbed in through the passenger side, moved the car into the row in front, got DH in and we left.

The Dad had not come back. I'm kicking myself because I didn't take a picture of the way he'd parked.

Anyway, tonight at around 8pm there's a knock at the door and two policemen are there. My heart dropped because I thought it was about one of the DC (both were out with friends), but they said they'd had a complaint about me causing 'fear and alarm' to a minor!

Turns out the Dad must have already had my reg number and told the police what I'd said. No mention of how he'd blocked me deliberately and left his son trapped in the car!

He must have known whoever came back to the car would be angry!

Anyway police said I could make a formal apology to the boy and the matter would not be taken further - this was because I admitted swearing.

I said No I will not as I had figured out by then that the Dad had done this all deliberately. No clue who he is.

AIBU to think he must be an absolute psycho?

Especially to leave his son trapped in the car!

Im with you op.
You parked in between 2 bays so that nobody could park next to you as you needed the space for your husband - I’m saying this for those who ask why you didn’t park in the middle of 3 empty bays.

the idiot driver decided to teach you a lesson. Ok, no problem wirh that. However, surely when he got back from the supermarket his son told him that you had someone in a wheelchair with you. And he still thought it appropriate to call the police? To waste police’s time for swearing?
No, I wouldn’t have apologised, the father is the one who should apologise to his son for putting him in that situation.

Whoops sorry - It means mental breakdown, but like a dramatised silly version, a bit self-deprecating if you use it yourself.

My sister will tell me she "had a complete menty B" when there's a minor issue, for example.

That’s going to stick with me!

You're totally right that the Dad obviously did it to teach you a lesson or whatever and he's an arsehole for doing that. However, I don't think you should have said what you did to the teenager. He had no control over the situation at all and it was really unfair to him.

Also if you weren't willing to apologise I don't know why you admitted any of it to the police, why didn't you just deny the entire thing?

Another example of an OP who doesn't get the answer they were expecting so has a giant hissy fit.
Nice one, OP.

The lad in the car did not seem distressed. In fact when he said it was his Dad who parked there, he seemed a bit frustrated. IMO his Dad probably made him sit there and he knew what his Dad was like. I reckon Dad reported it to the police because he was pissed off his son got an opportunity to call him a cunt!

Yes, maybe the son didn’t photograph OP’s car, unless he was on strict instructions form his dad - the arsehole dad probably took the reg down before he left or they have a camera in the car for recording other vehicles, a lot of ppl do. He sounds the type to cover himself that way.

And you’re concerned about others comprehension issues?

You don’t like being told you’re wrong do you?

I understand why you were so frustrated, it is an idiotic thing for the dad to do, but given the sons reaction probably wasn’t encouraged by him, so you’ve had a go at the wrong person.

My DC look older but in reality of a lady started having a go at them and swearing for someone they’d personally not done, would probably feel very aggrieved.

In your circumstances I’d probably write an apology to the son but I’d absolutely be sure to include rationale for your parking and the inconvenience of them causing you and your disabled DH distress with their parking for context.

I’m more outstanded that the police turned up at your house for this!

If you think most of us would have sworn at an innocent teenager like you did, you are deluded

Your OP was awful but your subsequent posts show an unbelievable level of unpleasantness

Yeah as much as I think the police action is OTT, and this man is doing it as a power play - I can’t get my head around people who think it’s normal to call a child’s dad a cunt to the child’s face.

It’s not ok! Unless it’s your own child maybe (joking!) seriously though it’s not how anyone I know behaves.

The boy put his head down. He must have felt intimidated by you 😡 my own son would have had the same reaction and my blood would have been boiling. You shouldn't have done it

Hissy fit to uninvolved bystander, hissy fit to MN posters…

Would you do anything different in the future OP? Would you park across two bays again? Would you swear at an uninvolved teenager again?

"I did not 'have a go' at a kid either"

So how would you ( or your kids ) feel if someone said to them " tell your mum she is a cunt?"

Yes, maybe the dad drove round all the supermarket car parks in the town until he found someone parking across two bays so he could wind them up …

Honestly OP, you could have avoided all this anger if you had just parked in a bay ordinarily.
You have repeatedly told us that, at that end of the car park, hardly anybody ever parks, so the chances of somebody parking next to you would have been far less than they turned out to be when you parked across two bays.

You don’t have a monopoly on being triggered to anger ( and to using shockingly offensive language as intimidation)
Just as you are easily triggered to anger, so are others.
There is nothing more triggering for some than seeing a car parked across two bays as if the driver thinks she own the place, or as if she can’t drive properly, or as if she just don’t care.

We all get that you had your valid reasons and we fully empathise. I do at least, having been a career myself. It was a nasty move to teach you a lesson.

But you gave away the moral high ground the moment you viciously swore at an innocent young lad.