AIBU to refuse apologising after being blocked in at Tesco?

[ThisIsAbsolutelyCrazy]

So, yesterday I go to Tesco with DH. DH is a wheelchair user and has a Blue Badge.

There were no disabled bays or parent and child bays so I went to a far corner of the car park where there were two empty rows of normal bays and parked between 2 bays so had room for DH to get in and out.

Lo and behold we came back to a car parked so close to my driver's side that I couldn't get between the cars - less than 10 inches in between. The car had parked over into the bay I had half parked in.

We were obviously WTF. The other bays around us were still empty.

Coming round to the front of the cars, we saw there was a young lad no more that 15-17 sitting in the passenger seat of the other car. He obviously couldn't get out of his door either because it was up against mine! I said 'what kind of idiot would park like this' or some such. He said 'my dad'. Then asked him why he'd blocked him in.as well. He didn't answer and just kept his head down. I will admit I did swear a bit saying for fucks sake, this is fucking disgusting. Then said 'tell your Dad he's a complete cunt'. At no point did I make threats to the lad or swear at him. I knew he didn't park the car.

Anyway I then climbed in through the passenger side, moved the car into the row in front, got DH in and we left.

The Dad had not come back. I'm kicking myself because I didn't take a picture of the way he'd parked.

Anyway, tonight at around 8pm there's a knock at the door and two policemen are there. My heart dropped because I thought it was about one of the DC (both were out with friends), but they said they'd had a complaint about me causing 'fear and alarm' to a minor!

Turns out the Dad must have already had my reg number and told the police what I'd said. No mention of how he'd blocked me deliberately and left his son trapped in the car!

He must have known whoever came back to the car would be angry!

Anyway police said I could make a formal apology to the boy and the matter would not be taken further - this was because I admitted swearing.

I said No I will not as I had figured out by then that the Dad had done this all deliberately. No clue who he is.

AIBU to think he must be an absolute psycho?

Especially to leave his son trapped in the car!

Totally agree with this 100%.
Was thinking the same as I read it.
OP is obviously an aggressive person but also a coward for swearing infront of a 15 year old and taking her anger out on him.

She should have waited for the dad and had her confrontation face to face with him.
Didn't have the guts for that easier to show her foul mouth infront of a minor.
It's humans like this showing children that its ok to have aggressive behaviour and swear.
I can't believe she's justifying it by saying I wasn't shouting. Like that makes it alright.

I think you lost the upper hand here when you used that language about the dad to his son.

I appreciate that there was absolutely no need for him to park like that and it was antagonistic. There are better ways to deal though.

Your behaviour was appalling. You swore at and berated a child who could not get away from you and who had done nothing wrong. He wasn't driving. They also didn't park like a cunt, that was you. They were in their bay, you weren't.

You parked like a prick, had a go at a kid about it and now are surprised to have police at your door.

These responses are insane.

Their car was parked over 2 bays too, because the cunt of a Dad wanted to make it impossible for me to open my car door.

I did not 'have a go' at a kid either.

I though MN was supposed to have a slightly more intellectual demographic?

Most of them can't even read properly!

You are just unbelievable, your language is appalling even on here and you lack of self awareness if unbelievable. Believe me, I wish I couldn't read what you are writing.

We know what we know because you told us. You told us YOU parked over two spaces first, YOU told us how you verbally assaulted an innocent teenager and have further illustrated your capacity to swear like a trooper in your posts. You told us the Police were involved. And we have based our opinions, opinions which you sought, on the information you gave us.

And insulting the people, whose opinions YOU have sought through your post is even more stunning.

Yeah, you sound horrific. If you spoke like that to my child I’d also call the police on you. Do you always lose your shit with people who have NOTHING to do with whatever situation has pissed you off?

As a blue badge holder I can see where you're coming from OP, but not sure why you just didn't park in a bay and avoid something like this happening.

Using such language to anyone just reflects badly on you.

So am I imagining the bit of your OP where you told a 15 year old his dad is a cunt?

It used to, but judging from your posts, the common sense and general class has definitely gone downhill.

It's not just a young person hearing swear words used in a TV programme, song or film, though; it's having them shouted at them several times by an adult stranger. It's the words PLUS the anger and threatening, abusive attitude.

I though MN was supposed to have a slightly more intellectual demographic?

Your own shocking behaviour in the car park sounds extremely undignified and far from representing somebody with an intellectual mindset.

Nope, didn't shout.

Am i particularly unusual that I don't need to shout to use swear words?

There was no threat or abuse.

Another one lacking in reading comprehension skills.

I really would like to know who are these people who, on coming back to their car with a disabled person, and finding someone had deliberately parked half into the bay they were in so they could park within inches of their car door and block it, would not be angry, annoyed or frustrated and just say to the person the driver had deliberately trapped inside just so he could piss off a complete stranger, 'please tell the driver to be more considerate next time, dear'!

It's utter bollocks.

It is your appalling language that shocked us. He was in the wrong but you behaved equally badly. Excessively bad language made you lose our sympathy. Vulgar is putting it mildly

But the point is thst this IS a legal matter now!
Public Order Act 1986
Section 4A (Intentional Harassment, Alarm, or Distress): Intentionally causing someone harassment, alarm, or distress through threatening, abusive, or insulting words or behavior. 1, 2]
Section 5 (Harassment, Alarm, or Distress): Similar to Section 4A, but can be committed with intent or likelihood of causing distress without requiring proof that someone was actually distressed

There doesn't need to be cctv evidence because you have admitted what you said!! Saying to a child what you did, most people on here have concluded were "insulting words" and would be "likely to cause alarm or distress" to said child. Tnis carries a maximum sentence of 26 weeks prison

You need to seriously listen to yourself. You parked across two bays, that is not normal. The other driver did not know your predicament over the disabled driving bays. You verbally abused his young son, an innocent bystander.

You would have got far more support if you were more reasoned in your response. I too have a Blue Badge, I get the frustration of finding no disabled bay available, I get why you parked across two bays, but do not expect others to have psychic abilities and understand your plight.

If for no other reason than to stop yourself being ticketed for occupying 2 spaces, you should have left your blue badge and a note inside the window, explaining you needed extra space for ingress and egress of the wheelchair and there where no disabled bays available. Problem solved.

Instead, you got annoyed over someone believing you to be irresponsible for parking over two pays so they pinned you in, not smart but understandable.

Then you abuse his kid to such an extent that not only did his Dad call the police, but the police apparently listened to him. Swearing and cursing in front of a 15‑year‑old, even if you’re not shouting at him, still pulls him into the conflict. He hears it, he feels it, and it puts him in the middle. It’s not about whether you meant it ‘at’ him, it’s about the impact on him. He shouldn’t be exposed to adult arguments or adult language about his parent. That’s not fair on him.

Read the room....the mass majority here are telling you, based purely on your take of the events (which will be heavily slanted in your favour anyway) that your behaviour was not acceptable.

Put your big pants on and apologise or face the consequences, your decision.

we also thought you were too “busy” to come back and update 😂 you kicked off infront of a child, had the neck of a jockeys bollocks to then tell us how concerned you were for your own children when the police arrived at the door, and yet, we’re the unintelligent ones. Can’t say I’ve ever told a child to tell his dad he’s a cunt but hey, if that makes me less intelligent than an angry woman, I’ll take it.
You still haven’t answered why you didn’t sit and seethe in the car until the adult came back? Big tough woman screeching at a teenage boy though 😂

“Read the room....the mass majority here are telling you, based purely on your take of the events (which will be heavily slanted in your favour anyway) that your behaviour was not acceptable.”

The room you are telling her to read is routinely incredibly unreasonable, though. So much so that it becomes abusive and harassing itself.

There are no prison spaces. You think they’re chucking out another rapist to make way for Cunty McCunt? Of course they’re not.

In your situation, I wouldn't have said anything - I'd just have got into the car and driven away. Why give the other driver the satisfaction of knowing he'd got to you?

On the OP's account, it very likely does not meet the objective "reasonable person" standard for "likely to cause harm or distress". Of course, that depends in part on the kid's side of the story, too.

OP - on reflection, let me amend my earlier post.

The other driver appears to have deliberately gone out of his way to cause you inconvenience. He wouldn’t have known about your disabled hubby, maybe he was trying to teach you a lesson. Whatever, in your shoes I can’t honestly say I wouldn’t think him a cunt. So, not arguing that point.

What you said to the teenage child was wrong.

It would make you the better person if you apologised.

You were unreasonable to swear while talking to a kid. You used the F and C word which was unnessasary.
Judging by some of your replies here, I dont believe you were not aggresive when talking to the drivers teenage son.

OP - you probably made mean faces, too. Didn’t you?

YABU.

Please don't blame teenagers for their arsehole parents. I will never forget the time 2 adult women called me names and tore my looks apart as a 14 year old because my mentally ill mother tried to queue jump them. The teen was not in charge of what his dad did, and you probably did cause fear and alarm by shouting at him.

I'd agree to the formal apology for the son and have a menty b at the dad instead.

I do agree with you. What’s a menty b?

Then said 'tell your Dad he's a complete cunt

That was unnecessary Op. If anything you should have waited for him to come out to confront him or if it’s illegal parking taking a note of his reg and went into Tesco or something.

I remember when I was younger one of the neighbours having an issue with my mother and swearing aggressively about her and I felt so bad. You shouldn’t drag kids into disputes based on whatever their parent has or hasn’t done.

That said I’m not necessarily sure you should apologise. I am not convinced if the boy was actually that bothered beyond being embarrassed. I can’t imagine he wants an apology.

So I suspect it’s his dad behind this doing it as a power play as he is angry he got called out. As a pp said, this wouldn’t progress to the courts so it sounds like the police are trying to pressure you to look like they’re doing something for this man. I wonder if they’d have told a man to apologise?

Unless you could apologise exactly how you wanted. For example saying you apologise wholeheartedly to the boy and shouldn’t have taken out the wrongdoing of his dad on him, and making clear you find the fathers behaviour unreasonable and rude etc and hope he shows a better example to his son in future😂

Buuuut I’m sure that’s not the apology the dad is after lol