AIBU to refuse apologising after being blocked in at Tesco?

[ThisIsAbsolutelyCrazy]

So, yesterday I go to Tesco with DH. DH is a wheelchair user and has a Blue Badge.

There were no disabled bays or parent and child bays so I went to a far corner of the car park where there were two empty rows of normal bays and parked between 2 bays so had room for DH to get in and out.

Lo and behold we came back to a car parked so close to my driver's side that I couldn't get between the cars - less than 10 inches in between. The car had parked over into the bay I had half parked in.

We were obviously WTF. The other bays around us were still empty.

Coming round to the front of the cars, we saw there was a young lad no more that 15-17 sitting in the passenger seat of the other car. He obviously couldn't get out of his door either because it was up against mine! I said 'what kind of idiot would park like this' or some such. He said 'my dad'. Then asked him why he'd blocked him in.as well. He didn't answer and just kept his head down. I will admit I did swear a bit saying for fucks sake, this is fucking disgusting. Then said 'tell your Dad he's a complete cunt'. At no point did I make threats to the lad or swear at him. I knew he didn't park the car.

Anyway I then climbed in through the passenger side, moved the car into the row in front, got DH in and we left.

The Dad had not come back. I'm kicking myself because I didn't take a picture of the way he'd parked.

Anyway, tonight at around 8pm there's a knock at the door and two policemen are there. My heart dropped because I thought it was about one of the DC (both were out with friends), but they said they'd had a complaint about me causing 'fear and alarm' to a minor!

Turns out the Dad must have already had my reg number and told the police what I'd said. No mention of how he'd blocked me deliberately and left his son trapped in the car!

He must have known whoever came back to the car would be angry!

Anyway police said I could make a formal apology to the boy and the matter would not be taken further - this was because I admitted swearing.

I said No I will not as I had figured out by then that the Dad had done this all deliberately. No clue who he is.

AIBU to think he must be an absolute psycho?

Especially to leave his son trapped in the car!

"The man was harassing a disabled person"

As a " law graduate "you should know that harassment is defined as "any unwanted conduct that happens on more than one occasion and causes distress, alarm, humiliation, or fear."

As a layperson, I would conclude this is a single incidence so would not count.

I’ve never come across this idea before (and you’re not the first on this thread to hold it) that one of the criteria for whether someone deserves basic respect and decency of behaviour depends on whether their dad is an arse or not. Such a strange and unpleasant view

Agree!

Police dont give shit about able bodied people parking in blue badge spaces without a badge. They dont have the resources to care.

But they DO have the resources to show up to a disabled person's house , after their carer was at the end of her tether in a world not designed for disabled people, after she parked elsewhere displaying blue badge because there were not enough disabled bays, taking REASONABLE ADJUSTMENTS only to be boxed in by some fucker who thinks he is thenparking police and apparently camt see a blue badge the window.

Police not looking great.

ETA we have all been stretched paper thin before and acted less than ideal, but unless the OP actually threated to kill or main the kid then the police is OTT

I do know thank you.

However there are a lot of self absorbed holier than thou idiots on this thread.
The man was a scumbag and I'm not changing my mind!

But you shouldn't have parked across 2 spaces, it was absolutely unnecessary. You should have parked properly alongside an empty space to allow your DH to get out of the car. If the empty space had been taken when you got back, you could have moved the car, so that DH had room to get in. If you had parked properly in the same area as you did park, none of this would have happened. Your language was disgusting and made worse by the fact that you were speaking to a minor.
Of course you should apologise but I would also talk to Tesco about the insufficiency of DisAbled Parking spaces.

Do you write a lot of fiction?

I actually did this once.

parking normally in a standard spot with a free space alongside my disabled passengers door. She could get out but of course the space next to use was taken when we got back meaning disabled passenger could not get back in.

I did exactly that - pulled car out while disabled passenger waited. I got her in (not easy in the best of circumstances!) folded the wheelchair, put it in the boot, and got back in driver's seat.

All while suffering verbal abuse that I was blocking the throughfare while i did this.

You cannot fucking win.

Are you currently or have you ever been a carer for a disabled person?

Exactly. Some people havent a clue.

We share the world with disabled people, and everyone wants to #bekind until it personally causes them the most minor inconvenience and then they turn into cold heartless bastards.

"However there are a lot of self absorbed holier than thou idiots on this thread."

What like "law graduates" with "copper" heritage who insist the father should get his "collar felt " for a parking dispute based on the equality act and then doubles down when it's pointed out they are talking nonsense😂

Huh???

@ThisIsAbsolutelyCrazy told us in her OP that there were still many spaces open around her car in the car park. But this man decided that he had to park so close to her car that his son couldn't get out of the passenger door.

If the other driver was ill, in a hurry, in an emergency, SURELY, he'd have parked somewhere closer to the shop/supermarket, and in a clear space.

He parked the way he did to teach the OP a lesson.

She's the one dealing with a wheelchair using partner, in a car park where there are not sufficient disabled parking bays - in case you don't know, disabled parking bays have an area around them which is marked out as much wider than the aerage space, so that people have room to get walking aids and/or wheelchairs out of the car.

The OP parked the way she did as a reasonable accommodation of her DH's wheelchair use. She parked deliberately in an area where there were several other free open spaces. She wrote in her OP

so I went to a far corner of the car park where there were two empty rows of normal bays and parked between 2 bays so had room for DH to get in and out.

But the man decided to teach her a lesson & make a point in COMPLETE ignorance of @ThisIsAbsolutelyCrazy 's circumstances.

He parked like a cunt.

Your post is unhinged.

@Walkden are you a carer or disabled?
I doubt it.
See my pp and comments.
Mumsnet at it's worse. Anyone would think it's a Friday.

The kid might not have even said anything. My dashcam would pick this up and would probably alert me.

But aside from whether anyone thinks the kid should have just shrugged it off, the OP did verbally abuse him. And he's a kid who's in no way responsible for how his dad parked the car.

OP is a fool to refuse to apologise.

"Mumsnet at it's worse"

Yes - "law graduates" talking gibberish in defence of someone verbally abusing a child

. Are you really a law graduate? I doubt it - only OP has committed any offence here.

@Walkden I am over forty years ago. Would you like to see my degree certificate or are you just a bully?

I'm sticking up for a woman who has been bullied, do you do that?

I don't understand how a disabled person was harassed? Thete was plenty of room at the passenger side for him to get in and out.

"I'm sticking up for a woman who has been bullied, do you do that?"

She hasn't been bullied or harassed because this would require repeated behaviour and this is a one off incident

She has then been given a visit by the police for her reprehensible behaviour towards a child but you are tying yourself in knots to make her the victim .

Why get a degree in law if you are then going to shit all over it for the sake of virtue signalling

I'm willing to bet if the child in the car had had a vagina not a penis you'd been more forthright because then you'd be sticking up for a bullied girl.

I would hope most people would stick up for anyone being bullied regardless of what sex they were - especially when they are children.

You do you though.

The teenager hasn't been bullied or harassed because this would require repeated behaviour and this is a one off incident

@Walkden I asked you to leave me alone and it appears you can't.
I shall now report you.
Kindly get lost

Once he was helped into the car by his carer, should he just sit there? Because his carer could not both help him into the car and then get into the car herself.

What if he needed to get home urgently at that point?

He wouldn’t have been trapped, he could have just crawled over the seats. You behaved appallingly, no doubt the poor lad took a photo of your number plate. It had absolutely nothing to do with him!

I'd have probably got in and moved the car sufficiently to gain access both sides ...?

Someone else upthread said they’ve done that before and been shouted and honked at by multiple angry drivers for blocking their way.