AIBU to refuse apologising after being blocked in at Tesco?

[ThisIsAbsolutelyCrazy]

So, yesterday I go to Tesco with DH. DH is a wheelchair user and has a Blue Badge.

There were no disabled bays or parent and child bays so I went to a far corner of the car park where there were two empty rows of normal bays and parked between 2 bays so had room for DH to get in and out.

Lo and behold we came back to a car parked so close to my driver's side that I couldn't get between the cars - less than 10 inches in between. The car had parked over into the bay I had half parked in.

We were obviously WTF. The other bays around us were still empty.

Coming round to the front of the cars, we saw there was a young lad no more that 15-17 sitting in the passenger seat of the other car. He obviously couldn't get out of his door either because it was up against mine! I said 'what kind of idiot would park like this' or some such. He said 'my dad'. Then asked him why he'd blocked him in.as well. He didn't answer and just kept his head down. I will admit I did swear a bit saying for fucks sake, this is fucking disgusting. Then said 'tell your Dad he's a complete cunt'. At no point did I make threats to the lad or swear at him. I knew he didn't park the car.

Anyway I then climbed in through the passenger side, moved the car into the row in front, got DH in and we left.

The Dad had not come back. I'm kicking myself because I didn't take a picture of the way he'd parked.

Anyway, tonight at around 8pm there's a knock at the door and two policemen are there. My heart dropped because I thought it was about one of the DC (both were out with friends), but they said they'd had a complaint about me causing 'fear and alarm' to a minor!

Turns out the Dad must have already had my reg number and told the police what I'd said. No mention of how he'd blocked me deliberately and left his son trapped in the car!

He must have known whoever came back to the car would be angry!

Anyway police said I could make a formal apology to the boy and the matter would not be taken further - this was because I admitted swearing.

I said No I will not as I had figured out by then that the Dad had done this all deliberately. No clue who he is.

AIBU to think he must be an absolute psycho?

Especially to leave his son trapped in the car!

his dad didn't think he deserved protecting does he realise how many crazy people are out there? I've seen footage of people in my own town (quiet semi rural) of someone kicking the absolute shit out of a car for being "too close" and yes there was someone in there at the time someone got blocked in so they crawled into the boot got in the drivers seat (much to the amusement of the person who blocked him in who was sat laughing in his car) he then opened and shut his drivers door on repeat and drove off the door was hanging a bit 🙄 but he didn't care he was scrapping it anyway police did nothing (obviously)

Being sworn at is nothing

Was the boy not able to move/get out the other side, in an emergency (most teenagers could, but obviously some can't)? While it's unlikely there would be a sudden need for him to get out, it's a safety issue if he can't.
I know people with disabilities and actually have a lot a sympathy-while you shouldn't swear at kids, unless you live in the situation, you don't necessarily understand the "last straw", and so many people don't realise what an impact disabilities can have on your mental and physical health.
Was the car in any way marked to say distance needed for wheelchair, etc, OP? Some people do this, and if so, what that driver did was awful. But sometimes, people seem to think others deliberately take up 2 spaces because th worried about the car being scratched, and there's even Reddit type pages for challenging that.
I'd get signs like that if you haven't already, as it might stop this happening again. For now, I would apologise-because you are sorry for shouting at the lad, surely?

You were being unreasonable.

i would have phoned up a friend to come and park so close to the drivers door he couldn’t get in then gone and found a cafe for a spot of lunch.

If there were lots of bays around, just park normally in a bay with nothing on your husbands side.

Then if someone comes and parks there, ypu can get in normally and pull out to let him in - as you did.....?

Your massive negative assumption about the Dad is shocking.

how do you know he isn’t ill, himself, and doing his very best.
how do you know he doesn’t have a sick wife at home and he’s out getting medicine?

how do you know the teenager Didnt stay in the car because he has crippling anxiety?

all your assumptions favour being randomly abusive over being compassionate.

Alarmingly toxic post from you.

What realistically happens if you don't apologize?

I don't think the teen did anything worng here and maybe you came across more aggressive and frightening that you realised?

However I do not know the law here is - you may need to pay for some legal advice to avoid making this a bigger issue if you refuse the coures of action suggested.

If you think this was deliberately done because the blue badge was visible and there was a clear need for access - was this addressed or ignored? Did you feel you being a frustrated woman venting about an unnessary inconvicence was deemed unacceptable because you are a woman and angry women are less socailly acceptable to some and if you'd been a man this apolgy wouldn't have been demanded?

Personally I wouldn't have sworn at or around the teens - or spoke to him bar asking when the driver would likely be back -but then I tend to be very polite and understand the teen was unlikely to have any control over the adult and I do not have to deal with daily unnessary hazzards due to needing a wheelchair. Did have a DH in one for a few months and lots of people made life so much harder for us than it needed to be - just with thoughtlessness and that did get very depressing.

It’s very frustrating how ignorant other drivers are to the sheer difficulty disabled and especially wheelchair users have just getting from a to b . I completely sympathise with your frustration op.

No, from you. You behaved atrociously, and you can't pass the responsibility on to someone else.

One of the most useless posts on this thread, and that's saying something

Well, my main conclusion is that not everybody who parks across two bays is a twat who can’t park their car! It had never occurred to me that disability access might be why. And it was thoughtful to go to the back of the car park, although I suppose there’s generally more space there anyway.

As for this situation, I’m afraid there’s never any cause for swearing at anyone with language like that. I’d have laughed at the police for getting involved in a grown man’s hurty feelings - more seriously I don’t know what I’d do. I’d never speak to anyone this way unless they’d physically attacked me or my children and hurt me/them to the point Tiger mum emerged….in which case the police wouldn’t be asking me to apologize.

Disagree and he’s obviously been described accurately by OP.

Also perhaps should not be driving if he can’t park appropriately. He also parked over two spaces, you know.

OP, if in this situation again, park diagonally across two spaces, then it’s much less likely you’ll get blocked out of the car and can access both sides.

Think op has gone...

Yes,

for having a 'father' with the brain of an ocean-going tadpole and an inversely-sized ego, along with unhealthy portion size of feeling entitled in policing strangers... presumably to overcompensate for his deficiencies

He sounds like the near-empty bus / train coach person who chooses to sit next to you.. which I've also had at the gym, on the treadmill

Sincerely hope so. She doesn’t need this on top of the rest.

Exactly this!

She’s been taken care of.

You’re funny! 😂

Cunt is one word I really dislike but I see where you’re coming from Op.
I wish you had waited for the dad , I’d love to know how he would have reacted , but what’s done is done .
As much as I would regret speaking in front of the kid like that I really would not want to apologise either .
The stupid petty dad would love it and the boy probably has bigger problems with a dad like that anyway .
I bet you don’t hear another peep about it .

"I’d have laughed at the police for getting involved in a grown man’s hurty feelings"

This was a child she abused. Is it ok for children to have hurry feelings then?

plot twist, the friend is an Eddie Stobart driver

I wonder how exactly the police plan to have this formal apology occur.

In writing? In person?

It sounds like a Curb your Enthusiasm episode.

well, if he's ill and doing his very results in him

parking halfway across another bay and so close to an adjacent car to block the driver's door from opening, when there were plenty of spaces available...

that infers his decision-making, eyesight and/or spatial awareness is heavily compromised

Therefore, moving on from that baseline of understanding, one would logically assume he is probably still ill when he returns to his car, making him also unfit to drive home without risking an RTA/driving the wrong way down an exit slip etc,

therefore should be reported to the DVLA as medically unfit to drive... possibly el permanente

The man was harassing a disabled person. He blocked the car as a deliberate act please see the 2010 equality act 2010.
The attached is taken from the disability UK website. The last two points are particularly relevant.

The op says the far end of the carpark, where she parked was empty. There was no need for her to park across 2 parking spaces.