AIBU to refuse apologising after being blocked in at Tesco?

[ThisIsAbsolutelyCrazy]

So, yesterday I go to Tesco with DH. DH is a wheelchair user and has a Blue Badge.

There were no disabled bays or parent and child bays so I went to a far corner of the car park where there were two empty rows of normal bays and parked between 2 bays so had room for DH to get in and out.

Lo and behold we came back to a car parked so close to my driver's side that I couldn't get between the cars - less than 10 inches in between. The car had parked over into the bay I had half parked in.

We were obviously WTF. The other bays around us were still empty.

Coming round to the front of the cars, we saw there was a young lad no more that 15-17 sitting in the passenger seat of the other car. He obviously couldn't get out of his door either because it was up against mine! I said 'what kind of idiot would park like this' or some such. He said 'my dad'. Then asked him why he'd blocked him in.as well. He didn't answer and just kept his head down. I will admit I did swear a bit saying for fucks sake, this is fucking disgusting. Then said 'tell your Dad he's a complete cunt'. At no point did I make threats to the lad or swear at him. I knew he didn't park the car.

Anyway I then climbed in through the passenger side, moved the car into the row in front, got DH in and we left.

The Dad had not come back. I'm kicking myself because I didn't take a picture of the way he'd parked.

Anyway, tonight at around 8pm there's a knock at the door and two policemen are there. My heart dropped because I thought it was about one of the DC (both were out with friends), but they said they'd had a complaint about me causing 'fear and alarm' to a minor!

Turns out the Dad must have already had my reg number and told the police what I'd said. No mention of how he'd blocked me deliberately and left his son trapped in the car!

He must have known whoever came back to the car would be angry!

Anyway police said I could make a formal apology to the boy and the matter would not be taken further - this was because I admitted swearing.

I said No I will not as I had figured out by then that the Dad had done this all deliberately. No clue who he is.

AIBU to think he must be an absolute psycho?

Especially to leave his son trapped in the car!

And, he deliberately left the youth in the car, incase the driver came back, and scratched his car. Without a doubt.

But apparently this area of the carpark was very quiet, so they could gave moved to a nearby space.

Obviously the other driver was an idiot, but there have to be better ways to deal with the situation on OP's part.

I did swear a bit saying for fucks sake, this is fucking disgusting. Then said 'tell your Dad he's a complete cunt'.

Classy.

Because if you DID park too close, you also parked badly and therefore, on bloody purpose. No?

Please go to a car park and try this out. Pretend you have someone with you in a wheelchair. Park as far away as you can. Get wheelchair out. Get person out and into chair. Go into the store and do your shopping. Come back out. Stand there confused. Put your shopping into the car. Put trolley away. Move the wheelchair to the other side of the car park. Go back and get the car. Then back again, park and get out. Pretend to put both person and wheelchair back into the car. Pray it doesn’t rain.

Come back and tell us about it.

Do some people realise that the driver can be the person with disabilities?

All while leaving your disabled loved one parked like a piece of fucking luggage outside shop doors and on kerbs while you fanny about because apparently no one has any compassion.

Never mind people have NO IDEA how difficult itnis to get a newly disabled person back out into the world again.

Not saying the OP's DH is newly disabled or unsure about being out in the world but the amount of people on this thread who are like "tough!!! I dont caareeeee if youre disabled!! Dont park across two spaces!"

MN is disgusting at times. People just want to be right. Even if it means acting like a vile human.

It’s a really weird thing for the dad to do, was he just out to cause annoyance? However, the police are giving you an out here by the sounds of it. Just write the minimum you have to write (probably 1-2 lines) and move on. Do you want a criminal record over this?

Surely you leave the wheelchair close to the car while you move it? The OP explained that she was in a quiet part of the carpark, so there were other spaces nearby.

None of it ideal of course, but there's no need to invent problems.

Your behaviour was unacceptable.

I completely sympathise with OP's frustration; but absolutely not with her deciding to verbally abuse a child. Being a carer doesn't magically give you the right to repeatedly swear at and frighten a child.

Are you really this person in real life?

Please stop calling a 15+ teen a child.

Oh, I’d demand an in person meeting and include DH in the discussion about the details of what happened.

Because the definition of a child is...?

You are being unreasonable. Even if you have a blue badge youre not entitled to park over 2 normal bays. And you are also in the wrong for swearing at a minor over how his dad has parked, he wouldnt of known your DH is a wheelchsir user and really its your own fault for being how you parked over 2 bays, your lucky you didnt get a ticket or someone telling a store assistant and you being told to move your car. I feel sorry for the kid you swore at and probably scared considering the police were called. And just because you say its not threatening how you spoke the young boy, doesnt mean it wasnt threatening to him.

the boy probably has bigger problems with a dad like that anyway

Wow - that's a phenomenally low bar in determining how you treat other people: they already have plenty to worry about, so it doesn't matter if you decide to give them additional upsets, as long as what you do to them isn't quite as bad as what other people do to them.

Kind of like the equivalent of saying that it's perfectly acceptable to randomly shout at a tramp lying in a shop doorway, because he/she has to worry about other passers-by pissing on them and setting them on fire whilst they sleep.

It didn’t even cross my mind. Because that’s how absolutely ignorant people can be about the disabled, even when trying to be understanding and thoughtful.

Someone who makes “helpful” suggestions to people caring for the disabled. Or about anything where they have no life experience.

He’s a psycho? You verbally assaulted a minor for no reason (wasn’t him, but his dad who parked the car). You sound so bloody entitled! Could you not have had some patience and waited for a disabled space!! Honestly!!!

What age does a person become an adult, then? In the UK, it's 18.

And just to make it abundantly clear, being a carer doesn't magically give you the right to repeatedly swear at and frighten ANY PERSON who hasn't done anything wrong. There is no age that you can reach at which abuse from a random person suddenly becomes acceptable.

Sounds like police should have been called about the unattended child left in the car.

A carefully worded apology along the lines of "I'm sorry I told your son to tell you that you are a cunt" is not painful. The subtext being " I should have waited and told you that to your face, you childish wanker".

You were only on the wrong for speaking like that to his son. You are not apologising to him, but for the swearing at his son.

I take my disabled mother to the supermarket every week. I get her out of the car close to the entrance and then park the car.

If there was some reason I couldn't stop near the entrance (there's a drop off point) and we went to the far side of the carpark for more space (like OP did) I'd park in a space with no car on the passenger side and if there was one there when we got back I'd move the car before getting her in.

I also cared for DH for 18 months before he doed and he was completely dependent on me for everything. So I donate some idea about caring for people with disabilities.

The OP's situation would be frustrating but no one would be swearing at anyone, let alone a child who had no responsibility for the issue at hand. .

You are awful

post too soon

and i hope you never end up disabled or care for anyone because clearly you have no idea

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also - no one WANTS to park across two bays because they are disabled. They would absolutely love love love to park in one single standard spot and handle it just fine like everyone else. But not everyone is that lucky.

stop acting like it is some kind of perk