AIBU to refuse apologising after being blocked in at Tesco?

[ThisIsAbsolutelyCrazy]

So, yesterday I go to Tesco with DH. DH is a wheelchair user and has a Blue Badge.

There were no disabled bays or parent and child bays so I went to a far corner of the car park where there were two empty rows of normal bays and parked between 2 bays so had room for DH to get in and out.

Lo and behold we came back to a car parked so close to my driver's side that I couldn't get between the cars - less than 10 inches in between. The car had parked over into the bay I had half parked in.

We were obviously WTF. The other bays around us were still empty.

Coming round to the front of the cars, we saw there was a young lad no more that 15-17 sitting in the passenger seat of the other car. He obviously couldn't get out of his door either because it was up against mine! I said 'what kind of idiot would park like this' or some such. He said 'my dad'. Then asked him why he'd blocked him in.as well. He didn't answer and just kept his head down. I will admit I did swear a bit saying for fucks sake, this is fucking disgusting. Then said 'tell your Dad he's a complete cunt'. At no point did I make threats to the lad or swear at him. I knew he didn't park the car.

Anyway I then climbed in through the passenger side, moved the car into the row in front, got DH in and we left.

The Dad had not come back. I'm kicking myself because I didn't take a picture of the way he'd parked.

Anyway, tonight at around 8pm there's a knock at the door and two policemen are there. My heart dropped because I thought it was about one of the DC (both were out with friends), but they said they'd had a complaint about me causing 'fear and alarm' to a minor!

Turns out the Dad must have already had my reg number and told the police what I'd said. No mention of how he'd blocked me deliberately and left his son trapped in the car!

He must have known whoever came back to the car would be angry!

Anyway police said I could make a formal apology to the boy and the matter would not be taken further - this was because I admitted swearing.

I said No I will not as I had figured out by then that the Dad had done this all deliberately. No clue who he is.

AIBU to think he must be an absolute psycho?

Especially to leave his son trapped in the car!

Do you make a habit of swearing at and verbally assaulting children?

It doesn't matter that he will have heard worse before. The context here is what counts.
A kid alone in a car confronted by an abusive adult. It is not ok.

Most supermarket carparks have the sign up threatening to fine you if you do not park in the allocated bay properly.

Hopefully you could appeal on the grounds that disabled were all full but I have to say, at local Tesco for example, I haven't noticed the disabled bays having substantially larger gaps between.

So I'd apologise to the lad - how do they want it though? A letter? Don't see, if this is true, why you cannot write a non apology, explaining your actions?
I am sorry for swearing around you
telling you your dad was a see you next Tuesday for parking the way he did.
I was frustrated as my parking was deliberate (so that I had room to move my husband's wheelchair).

Or I'd be worried he'd report me to the car park company, especially with photographic evidence I'd failed to park within their rules (fine iirc is £100).

🍀

I haven't seen anyone quoting the disability discrimination act.
The other driver was clearly out to cause harassment to the other party. Is he having his collar felt as this was a wilful act? (I'm both a law graduate and a coppers daughter). Someone's got too much time on their hands down at the station.

I too don't use the c word because it's usually uttered by men. It's not their anatomy!
Wanker would have been more apt.

OP @ThisIsAbsolutelyCrazy I'm in the minority on this thread but I sick to death of both ageism and disability discrimination. If you've been up all night and doing a 18 hour day you were probably at the end of your tether.

You could apologise to the lad (who probably suffers at the hands of a bully) but not to the father. He probably didn't know his.

If you had sworn at driver (no kids present) poor behaviour but maybe understandable.

Swore at driver with kid present…borderline, shouldn’t really do it.

Telling a kid his father is a cunt (no adults present)….cowardly and ignorant. Def unreasonable. You asked.

I think anyone watching would think the woman screaming and swearing in the car park was the psycho!

I have no idea why you, and some other posters keep insisting the boy was "trapped"! Unless he also had mobility issues he could just get out the driver seat in an emergency.

Just because you didnt specifically call him a cunt doesnt mean that the swearing wouldnt have felt aimed at him and have been intimidating.

The driver was in the wrong but so were you. Just admit it. If someone behaved like that towards your kid would you think it was okay?

You’re missing the point @ThisIsAbsolutelyCrazy

The dad was an arse. But he wasn’t there and you kicked off in front of his son.. a minor.

Unfortunately now in-spite of the fact that you were initially wronged, it’s turned on you…

if you don’t want to apologies.. stand their ground and let the police decide if they want to prosecute you. I’d bet that they won’t.

FAFO.

You scared a kid who did nothing wrong. Put yourself in his shoes, some nutjob comes up screaming and swearing at him and he's stuck in the car. Do you want someone doing that to your kid? It was you who parked poorly in the first place.

I’m with you.

And while he may not have bothered to look and see the placard, by the time he called the police he knew that he’d blocked a disabled man and his carer from their vehicle. He knew she was terribly frustrated and upset.

and he knows what it’s like to be frustrated because he walks around the planet this way, taking revenge on complete strangers and leaving his poor son to experience the result.

It absolutely was and I would put money on the reason he has a photo of your car is because he is/was going to put it on one of those "Parking like a Twat" sites on Social Media.

I'm amazed by the number of people here who don't seem to get that a kid is a separate person from their parent!

Like @opheliahamlet said upthread, he probably witnesses his dads dickish behaviour a lot, how does swearing at and bullying the poor kid help in any way?
He was probably sitting staring at his phone oblivious to where they were parked, until suddenly an adult is in his face ranting and raving at him.
And there's people here, presumably many of them parents, saying he deserves it cause his dad did x, y, z? Crazy.

It could have been really scary for him. You shouldn’t have taken out your anger on a child with no autonomy to have made the choice to park or to do anything about it. Despite the situation and your understandable anger, you behaved completely unreasonably.

She couldn’t have been in his face. There was a car parked so close to his door that it would be impossible.

She was a woman talking to herself in a car park for most of this encounter. Surprised he even heard her, actually.

The dad is a prick although swearing at kids is not on. Why not get shoppng delivered?

I really hope this is a fake post. If not then you should be totally ashamed of yourself. When did it become normal to use such disgusting language in public especially around a minor. The Dad wouldn’t have known you needed more space. Maybe he thought you were correctly parked so parked next to you.
But whatever happened your behaviour/language were totally unacceptable and you should be apologising. Absolutely disgusting from you.

All true. AND the kid had no responsibility or agency in all of that and should not have been subjected to a dysregulated angry and swearing adult whilst trapped. That could have been quite traumatic. Awful behaviour in the part of the OP. An apology would go someway towards reassuring the child that adults shouldn’t behave like that and if they do then they should put things right.

Ultimately it was the father who created the situation but that doesn’t give the OP the right to do that to a child.

Gosh so much insight and knowledge! Amazing!!

From a self defence point of view, op, the swearing was a bad choice as well. The encounter could easily have ended up with you being punched or stabbed.

An instructor I greatly respect says, "It's not your job to correct every dickhead on the planet, it's your job to get home to your family safely" which is a good thing to remember when faced with twattish behaviour in public.

What would your dh do if you were out of action for weeks with a concussion? Or if you were dead? Over a parking space?

Shocking behaviour from you,, you should have apologised, since when has a potty mouth become the norm? Especially to a child.... And using the C word.. Wow!

You are right.

"Is he having his collar felt as this was a wilful act? (I'm both a law graduate and a coppers daughter)."

In which case you can advise which law he is breaking. Wilful bad parking 2026?

I'm mystified as to why you needed to park over two bays. When I take my dad out with his wheelchair and there are no blue badge spaces I just park normally with a space to the nearside. If there's no space I help him get out of the car before pulling in. Ditto if we return and a car has parked on the nearside I pull out and then help him in.

Thank you

What a fragile society we live in nowadays. 2 police officers showed up because someone swore at a teenager? Teenagers themselves swear all the time. Use your over stretched police resources on real crime instead of hurty words.

Anyone seen that film Demolition Man? "You are fined 1 credit for swearing". It's set in a time that isn't far off from now too, like 2030.

I'm with you @ThisIsAbsolutelyCrazy

There's no guarantee whatsoever that the spaces either side will remain empty, though. In fact, a lot of people seem to actively look for other cars in sparsely-populated car parks and park alongside them - sometimes because they're rubbish at parking and like to use another car to line up against; sometimes because they assume it must be a good place if others have parked there (well shaded from the sun or whatever); sometimes for safety in numbers; sometimes even if you have a much nicer car than them, so thieves would target yours first and not theirs!!

A lot of people are wily about it and will park technically within their own space but right up to the line, reckoning on other drivers avoiding it when they see the space available is too narrow; but even then, somebody with a motorbike or Smart car could come along and use it anyway.