AIBU to refuse apologising after being blocked in at Tesco?

[ThisIsAbsolutelyCrazy]

So, yesterday I go to Tesco with DH. DH is a wheelchair user and has a Blue Badge.

There were no disabled bays or parent and child bays so I went to a far corner of the car park where there were two empty rows of normal bays and parked between 2 bays so had room for DH to get in and out.

Lo and behold we came back to a car parked so close to my driver's side that I couldn't get between the cars - less than 10 inches in between. The car had parked over into the bay I had half parked in.

We were obviously WTF. The other bays around us were still empty.

Coming round to the front of the cars, we saw there was a young lad no more that 15-17 sitting in the passenger seat of the other car. He obviously couldn't get out of his door either because it was up against mine! I said 'what kind of idiot would park like this' or some such. He said 'my dad'. Then asked him why he'd blocked him in.as well. He didn't answer and just kept his head down. I will admit I did swear a bit saying for fucks sake, this is fucking disgusting. Then said 'tell your Dad he's a complete cunt'. At no point did I make threats to the lad or swear at him. I knew he didn't park the car.

Anyway I then climbed in through the passenger side, moved the car into the row in front, got DH in and we left.

The Dad had not come back. I'm kicking myself because I didn't take a picture of the way he'd parked.

Anyway, tonight at around 8pm there's a knock at the door and two policemen are there. My heart dropped because I thought it was about one of the DC (both were out with friends), but they said they'd had a complaint about me causing 'fear and alarm' to a minor!

Turns out the Dad must have already had my reg number and told the police what I'd said. No mention of how he'd blocked me deliberately and left his son trapped in the car!

He must have known whoever came back to the car would be angry!

Anyway police said I could make a formal apology to the boy and the matter would not be taken further - this was because I admitted swearing.

I said No I will not as I had figured out by then that the Dad had done this all deliberately. No clue who he is.

AIBU to think he must be an absolute psycho?

Especially to leave his son trapped in the car!

So she parks like a dick instead and kickstarts the entire thing.

Assume there were doors on the other side???

Agree with all of this. The man shouldn’t have parked as he did just to make a point, but he’s not omniscient (I assume) so he couldn’t possibly have known the OP had a ‘valid’ reason to park across two spaces. When I see someone’s car parked like that I just assume they’re either a terrible driver or very selfish.

I certainly know some words are considered hate speach I had no idea CUNT was one of them. The teenage boy doesn’t even own one. Maybe he had generational trauma through being laboured out a particularly tight one but otherwise it’s just a curse word much like any other.

‘I’m sorry your dad is a dickhead’

She did the best she could and there was no need for this man to block her in. He involved himself with her for no reason at all. Would you do that?

I really feel sorry for this teen who couldn’t even get out of the car.

This was my take on it too. I’m a wheelchair user and if my local supermarket disabled/P&C bays are full I’ll wait a bit and if nothing frees up l’ll go home and come back later. That’s the reality day to day of living with a disability. If l’m with a carer there is usually somewhere to pull in while they get my wheelchair out and me into it. l go into the store while they park and when we’re finished l wait by the door for them to put the shopping away and pick me up. Parking across two bays is entitled - although l will caveat that with the fact that there are always cars parked in the disabled bays without badges, so entitlement goes both ways.

It’s not the law - wheelchair space full, therefore park across two spaces and everyone knows this is the rule is all good.

So while I’d never police parking, not to mind in an empty carpark, he wasn’t to know that’s why the Op did it.

Tradesman who have huge vans regularly take up two parking spaces in my local supermarket and yet I’m pretty sure another bloke wouldn’t block that van in as he’d know he’s get a punch in the face.

Totally agree with this.

I have a son who would have been emotionally hurt by this, he would have been in tears by this kind of verbal assault.
All this fucking and cunt calling was absolutely awful and unnecessary.

OP is definitely not a good example of a human being.

If I'm driving and a child of any age (even a 16 year old) happens to come infront, I'm very mindful of my language.
Especially after seeing the frightened look on their face. I have no intention of making them feel worse than they already feel.

All I ever say is please be careful.

When I see someone’s car parked like that I just assume they’re either a terrible driver or very selfish.

Which was the whole problem here. If OP was displaying the badge that would have gone some way to explaining the way the car was parked.

Hard disagree on doing the best she could.

Yes, I agree.

The Op doesn't know how to behave herself.

I think it's often a double standard whereby people who don't consider themselves 'that kind of person' believe that, even if they then do what 'that kind of person' does, they can't have done anything wrong.

Not quite the same thing, but a bit like the people who scorn the jobless alcoholics who max out on Newcastle Brown and Stella at the bus station, but because they themselves just like to wind down with two or three bottles of fine wine to themselves every evening, that's completely different.

I don’t think it’s entitled in a lot with ample spaces for a disabled person to use the space you need to properly get in and out of the vehicle.

If the lot were full and you were keeping someone else from parking that might be another matter. That was not the case here.

Talk about wasting police time! I’m sure they have better things to deal with! I would have said no too!

Depends on the circumstances. She’s a carer with a disabled person to think about. Sometimes that can cloud your judgement.

Why did you park across two parking spaces? Why not stop, help DH out with wheelchair and then park normally? Not that this excuses idiot for parking so close as it is stupid but do you usually swear at teenagers who have not done anything wrong to you?
I think you should apologise but explain to police what you did - they will probably ask why you did not do what I have just suggested.

I think using the word cunt is reclaiming our genitalia under the watchful eye of the patriarchy. I’m all for it!

Did anyone know that the word vagina has its origins in ‘sword sheath?!’

The Rise of "Vagina": During the Renaissance and later under Christian doctrine, explicit vernacular terms for bodily functions and sexual organs became heavily censored. The polite Latin loanword vagina (meaning "sword sheath") was adopted into formal and refined speech, pushing cunt out of polite society.

Pejoration: By the 18th century, the word underwent pejoration—a linguistic process where a neutral word develops an increasingly negative, degrading connotation. Lexicographer Francis Grose famously labeled it "a nasty name for a nasty thing" in 1785.

Exclusion from Dictionaries: The word was so heavily stigmatized that it was omitted from mainstream English dictionaries for generations, finally returning to the Oxford English Dictionary only in 1972.

Misogyny and Sexual Repression: Cultural critics note that the intense taboo reflects systemic societal discomfort with and policing of female sexuality, treating the explicit naming of female genitalia as uniquely grotesque compared to equivalent slang for male anatomy.

You sound much more like the psycho to me!!

Have fun leaving your kid in the car next to someone you’ve purposely angered then.

Is there a note on your car to say why you are parking across 2 spaces?

If not - suggest you write one. Very large and clear.

Many, many people view it as a very strong word indeed, almost taboo; and many women view its standing and use in society as coming from a misogynistic place.

Think about it: there are lots of words that you can call people - like dick, nob, cock, plonker and others - which are still considered rude, but don't really have a great deal of shock value, unless maybe you say them from the pulpit in church. However, the very worst and most offensive, insulting, shocking, jarring swear word you could possibly use is a direct reference to women's genitals, giving a very clear indication of how inherently disgusting and vile they (and by extension, the women who have them) must be.

The blocked driver may well feel irritated/angry. Doesn’t give them the right to behave like a psycho towards a child whose beef this clearly was not. Just because someone is angry it doesn’t mean they can behave however they like. If anyone is behaving like a psycho here it’s the OP!

Words can be powerful but they are not brickbats. (And quite a lot of us on here are fed up to the back teeth with men complaining about hurty feelz and getting women sacked - but that's by the way.) As it happens I agree that OP parked badly and foolishly and that she should not have sworn at a child. Very poor behaviour and I have no idea why she parked over 2 spaces, esp as the car park was empty (except for the full disabled spaces).

You lose your point when using such charged language as “psycho”.