AIBU to refuse apologising after being blocked in at Tesco?

[ThisIsAbsolutelyCrazy]

So, yesterday I go to Tesco with DH. DH is a wheelchair user and has a Blue Badge.

There were no disabled bays or parent and child bays so I went to a far corner of the car park where there were two empty rows of normal bays and parked between 2 bays so had room for DH to get in and out.

Lo and behold we came back to a car parked so close to my driver's side that I couldn't get between the cars - less than 10 inches in between. The car had parked over into the bay I had half parked in.

We were obviously WTF. The other bays around us were still empty.

Coming round to the front of the cars, we saw there was a young lad no more that 15-17 sitting in the passenger seat of the other car. He obviously couldn't get out of his door either because it was up against mine! I said 'what kind of idiot would park like this' or some such. He said 'my dad'. Then asked him why he'd blocked him in.as well. He didn't answer and just kept his head down. I will admit I did swear a bit saying for fucks sake, this is fucking disgusting. Then said 'tell your Dad he's a complete cunt'. At no point did I make threats to the lad or swear at him. I knew he didn't park the car.

Anyway I then climbed in through the passenger side, moved the car into the row in front, got DH in and we left.

The Dad had not come back. I'm kicking myself because I didn't take a picture of the way he'd parked.

Anyway, tonight at around 8pm there's a knock at the door and two policemen are there. My heart dropped because I thought it was about one of the DC (both were out with friends), but they said they'd had a complaint about me causing 'fear and alarm' to a minor!

Turns out the Dad must have already had my reg number and told the police what I'd said. No mention of how he'd blocked me deliberately and left his son trapped in the car!

He must have known whoever came back to the car would be angry!

Anyway police said I could make a formal apology to the boy and the matter would not be taken further - this was because I admitted swearing.

I said No I will not as I had figured out by then that the Dad had done this all deliberately. No clue who he is.

AIBU to think he must be an absolute psycho?

Especially to leave his son trapped in the car!

What is with all these people swearing at supermarkets and feelingvthe need to put it on here word for word?

"What if you’d been a 6’5” bloke with a nasty temper?
However, the dad presumably also clocked the disabled badge so assumed you’d be the driver and as such a weaker person and easily bullied"

So the dad is a bully? Parking over the line is a civil offense and should not involve the police at all.

A grown woman bullying and Verbally abusing a child very much is.

They’ve edited the post since I quoted and commented. You can see the edit yourself.

That’s appalling and I’m glad the police visited you.

Deliberately parking over two bays isn't "parking badly" in the sense of not driving very well, though, it's it?

You linked parking in a disabled space with being a bad driver.

I’ll remember your username to give some context to other posts you make. Shows a lot about the sort of person you are
Haha, calm down! Another instance of jumping to conclusion after just one post with a level of anger that escalated for no justifiable reason. Remember, this is only virtual, not worth getting so angry about!

I'm so sorry you've been the victim of police harassment. It's totally unacceptable and illegal. Did you know that you can submit access request to the police force in question, which is GDPR request. They are obliged to share all information they hold about you - which includes all their internal case logs, notes, every time your file was called up in their computer system and so on. This scares them senseless as it reveals a lot about how they handled and discussed you internally. You can ask a gpt to draft a subject access request for you and to tell you where to send it. Incidentally submitting a subject access request is what Farage so successfully did to Coutts - Coutts had to send him the minutes of their meetings where they discussed shutting down his account. This ultimately led to the sacking/forced resignation of the NatWest boss. Very powerful tool.

You can also submit a FOI request on the constabulary's targets around the type of crime or non crime incident they are alleging our DH committed. This shows them you're onto them in understanding that they're just after their stats. Again an AI (I use Supergrok) can draft this for you.

No one is getting angry, expect for your. Your posts are aggressive and discriminatory. And use a similar tone to the way racists and xenophobes speak. But because you’re targeting disabled people, you think it’s ok. But we see you. Maybe you should take some of what you’ve been told on board.

@Merrybandofpirates, but this is about OP's circumstances and they did have a disabled badge. Their intention was to park in a disabled bay, but there were none available and they chose not to wait for one to become free.

You sound a tad sensible 🙂

You were totally unreasonable, it wasn’t the boy’s fault. Even if you didn’t “swear at him” you were shouting about something his dad did, swearing and called his dad a cunt. That could definitely cause alarm for a lot of kids.

i would have parked right by the dad’s door blocking him in, and gone back for a coffee personally. Or waited. He wasn’t likely to be long if the teenager was in the car.

Maybe the blue badge would have been a clue as to why the car was parked like that if he’d bothered to think a bit. Still doesn’t make what OP did acceptable - either in the way she parked or her treatment of the boy.

You linked parking in a disabled space with being a bad driver
No I didn't. Stop looking for what suits your accusatory narrative. I said if someone cannot parked confidently within lines, they are a bad driver.

The dad was a complete and utter cock. Swearing at his behaviour was justified.

The son doesn't need an apology as you were swearing at the situation - not him. You should have denied swearing at the son because you weren't. You swore because of the situation.

completely agree with this.

the Dad clearly thought he could police the parking of someone he deemed had parked wrongly. Just roll your eyes, park properly and go and do your shopping ffs. There was no need for him to block the driver to prove a point.

also, he was the one that set his DS up to be sworn at, what a shit Dad!

and then to get the police involved, yeah because they have nothing better to do. Honestly 🙄

And that’s really the point isn’t it ? If there are no blue badge or P&C spaces then you wait.

But the post you quoted was replying to you telling older people who mobility issues to just wait. They can’t, because they can’t always use disabled spaces.

Also, disabled people don’t need to wait for a bigger space if there is an alternative to allow them to get on with their day. This was a car park who don’t have inspectors out to ticket people parked over the lines, there were 20/30 empty spaces in the back corner and absolutely no need for OP to wait around. Just use the space available in a way that allows a disabled person to go about their day in peace, without causing anyone else any sort of inconvenience.

Disabled people do not need to confine themselves to the tiny about of space our society has given them.

Are you quite sure the other driver didn’t get you on dashcam?

You called a cunt a cunt. Our police are a total fuckig joke.

A lot of pent up rage around, it seems…

No one is getting angry, expect for your. Your posts are aggressive and discriminatory. And use a similar tone to the way racists and xenophobes speak. But because you’re targeting disabled people, you think it’s ok. But we see you. Maybe you should take some of what you’ve been told on board
I'm not angry at all! The whole thing is sad really. The actual event and the way people are excusing OP's aggressive behaviour

You can call me anything you want if it makes you feel good about yourself, it won't get a rise from me. I'm not an angry person and I don't take virtual life seriously.

She didn’t call him it though did she? She targeted the minor instead as the dad wasn’t there. If she wanted to call him a cunt she should have waited until he got back.

I cannot believe anyone would think OP is anything but wildly out of order here!

firstly, we only have her estimate on his age - he could have been a lot younger.
secondly, it really doesn’t matter if he hears the word cunt every single day of his life, she was being agressive in her use towards him. Personally, I happily use the word. Would I like someone much older than me to say it to me in such a way? Nope, and I’d probably complain about it too if I didn’t feel comfortable enough to stand up for myself at the time.

and lastly, whatever the reason, she parked like a prick. It wouldn’t be something I’d feel the need to make a point about if I saw it at my local Tesco, but this man obviously did. Again, we only have her word for how busy the car park actually was.

I wonder if those that have said they often straddle two spaces manage to find alternative ways to park if there is the threat of receiving a fine from a traffic warden.

Nope. If the car park don’t ticket for using two spaces then use two spaces. Especially when there are 20/30 empty spaces in the back corner. Supermarkets rarely fill up their car parks unless it’s a few days up to Christmas.

Disabled people do not need to confine themselves to the small amount of space we have allowed them. You can go down to the shop, park immediately, get your errands done and head home. So should a disabled person. No need to wait. OP didn’t cause anyone any inconvenience by using those spaces.

I think some people forget that MN isn't like the real world - where people don't generally go instantly to shouting the most offensive swear words that they know at strangers over every minor disagreement.

Maybe it's the norm in very rough areas; but I've lived in all kinds of places and have never experienced this as the expected norm. Yes, you get the odd one or two - but they mark themselves out by their extremity as deeply unpleasant and often not very bright; certainly not the average MN user demographic.