AIBU to refuse apologising after being blocked in at Tesco?

[ThisIsAbsolutelyCrazy]

So, yesterday I go to Tesco with DH. DH is a wheelchair user and has a Blue Badge.

There were no disabled bays or parent and child bays so I went to a far corner of the car park where there were two empty rows of normal bays and parked between 2 bays so had room for DH to get in and out.

Lo and behold we came back to a car parked so close to my driver's side that I couldn't get between the cars - less than 10 inches in between. The car had parked over into the bay I had half parked in.

We were obviously WTF. The other bays around us were still empty.

Coming round to the front of the cars, we saw there was a young lad no more that 15-17 sitting in the passenger seat of the other car. He obviously couldn't get out of his door either because it was up against mine! I said 'what kind of idiot would park like this' or some such. He said 'my dad'. Then asked him why he'd blocked him in.as well. He didn't answer and just kept his head down. I will admit I did swear a bit saying for fucks sake, this is fucking disgusting. Then said 'tell your Dad he's a complete cunt'. At no point did I make threats to the lad or swear at him. I knew he didn't park the car.

Anyway I then climbed in through the passenger side, moved the car into the row in front, got DH in and we left.

The Dad had not come back. I'm kicking myself because I didn't take a picture of the way he'd parked.

Anyway, tonight at around 8pm there's a knock at the door and two policemen are there. My heart dropped because I thought it was about one of the DC (both were out with friends), but they said they'd had a complaint about me causing 'fear and alarm' to a minor!

Turns out the Dad must have already had my reg number and told the police what I'd said. No mention of how he'd blocked me deliberately and left his son trapped in the car!

He must have known whoever came back to the car would be angry!

Anyway police said I could make a formal apology to the boy and the matter would not be taken further - this was because I admitted swearing.

I said No I will not as I had figured out by then that the Dad had done this all deliberately. No clue who he is.

AIBU to think he must be an absolute psycho?

Especially to leave his son trapped in the car!

But your parking was poor - he was not to know the reason why, And you had an easy solution which you used after you'd been vile to a minor.

No, I wouldn’t be applauding and I don’t care about the sexes involved. My assumption is that the person needs access, so if someone posted here in glee about blocking them, I’d tell them so and tell them to move and stop behaving in such an ignorant way.

Stop assuming people have parked like that because they’re twat. Make some allowances for the fact that there are lots of people in our society who need some extra space. And get on with your life. Really not that difficult and really odd for anyone to let this take up any head space during their day.

Oh and the person who hit me car badly and left without leaving a bit was parked in a disabled bay. I'm waiting for the supermarket to confirm if they have it on CCTV. If they do, I will definitely go to the police.

If my husband had parked like that is he calling him a cunt myself!

. . . and on this post here we have a complete example of disability discrimination in action. Ffs have some compassion, or better still spend a day in a wheelchair - it will probably expand your horizons.

Both things can be true, the man acted like a twat and you were wrong in how you spoke to the kid.

Why didn’t you park at the end of a row instead of between two bays?

There are penalties for parking in disabled bays without a disabled badge.

Parking in a disabled bay blocks the disabled bay for someone who has trouble walking.

Parking across 2 bays when there are 30 other empty bays in the car park disrupts nobody except people looking for something to get annoyed about.

Look, what OP did, didn't really help the situation, did it?
Had she parked normally, in the middle of an empty row of spaces then
a) she wouldn't have attracted any attention required to cause this situation
b) there would be plenty of space to maneuver even IF someone had parked close on one side. OP could then roll her eyes at the twattiness and get on with her day.

This was not a busy car park (according to OP)

As you could now be prosecuted for a public order offence, I think I’d have gone with the apology even if I didn’t mean it!

You shouldn’t have sworn in the boys hearing about his dad and about the situation he was clearly involved in, however unwillingly. Of course he was intimidated by a grown adult swearing and calling his Dad a cunt. The fact you say “teenage” and not child shows you’re trying to minimise.

Yes his Dad was being ridiculous to park you in but probably did it not thinking through the disabled element of the situation. And it sounds like your DH’s side of the car, the bit you needed space for, had the same amount of space as when you left. You also managed to solve matters by climbing over, pulling out and then letting DH in. Could you not have dropped your DH somewhere safe and then parked normally in a normal bay?

I phone the police and say you’ve changed your mind about the apology tbh!

But it was your parking that caused the response. You know, cause and effect? Take some responsibility. I would have thought WTF myself if I had seen some idiot parked in the middle of TWO bays. People don’t automatically know you have a wheelchair. They just think you’ve parked like a complete idiot.

interesting poll results…

The dad created this mess in the first place and clearly left his kid in the car to face the wrath of the other car driver alone. What a prize cunt!

What if you’d been a 6’5” bloke with a nasty temper?

However, the dad presumably also clocked the disabled badge so assumed you’d be the driver and as such a weaker person and easily bullied.

The Police need that to be spelt out to them very clearly (as they’re obviously a bit dim at this point!), and then to be having a very firm word with Vigilante parking cunt of a Dad about his antagonising and very risky behaviour.

I was pretty tame IMO.

That might be your opinion, but I doubt that it's anyone else's.

. . . and on this post here we have a complete example of disability discrimination in action. Ffs have some compassion, or better still spend a day in a wheelchair - it will probably expand your horizons
Utter rubbish! The discrimination accusation had to come though....there is no discrimination by saying that someone, disabled or not, have to wait to use a facility that caters specifically to their needs! Or are you saying that because someone is disabled, it gives them the right to ignore rules?

Sorry but what’s the point of this post? Sort of seems a bit like “a disabled person hit my car so all disabled people are awful.”

A disabled person hit your car, or someone driving a disabled person around hit your car. So? What’s that got to do with anything? Plenty of non disabled space users hit cars everyday and drive off without leaving a number.

You’re sounding a bit like a racist who doesn’t like people of colour because one of them committed a crime.

All you’re doing with every post is showing how much you discriminate against disabled people. I’ll remember your username to give some context to other posts you make. Shows a lot about the sort of person you are.

No one was parked in the middle of 2 disabled bays. Calm down.

There are penalties for parking in disabled bays without a disabled badge
What are you on about? OP had a disabled badge!

I don’t agree with what OP did either - parking over two spaces isn’t a solution, it’s irritating to other users and will likely get her a parking ticket - but ‘the world doesn’t revolve round your needs’? Really ? OP did what she thought was best in the circumstances - none of us know what stresses or pressures she has on her as a carer, but l can guarantee you one thing - having to deal with the consequences of an oaf who didn’t even check for a blue badge before he decided to teach someone a lesson for bad parking wouldn’t have helped.

She absolutely shouldn’t have behaved as she did and she owes that boy a profuse apology. The bloke who parked up against her door didn’t exactly cover himself in glory, but OP’s behaviour cost her the high ground.

And as an aside, walk down any row of disabled spaces in any supermarket car park on any day and you will always find someone parked there who shouldn’t be. There is always that person who feels entitled to take advantage of something not meant for them and disabled people have to contend with that on a daily basis.

How was he trapped? Surely he he could get out of the other side. He wasn't the driver so the beef wasn't with him

I'd be, not is he !

I would hazard a guess that the son knows full well what his dad is 🤣🤣

Sorry but what’s the point of this post? Sort of seems a bit like “a disabled person hit my car so all disabled people are awful.”
My mentioning that the person was disabled was only in response to a post implying that disabled people have a right to park badly because they are older or disabled. I didn't mention it initially, but yeah, go ahead with the accusations if it makes you feel better!

Im sorry but yabu. You've made the assumption that he parked there to teach you a lesson, he has made assumptions that you parked that way for entitled reasons. You didnt, in this case but he couldn't be sure of your intentions any more than you could of his, though it does seem twatish of him. I have seen cars parked the way you do in busy carparks and it has reduced the parking spaces so I can see why he was irritated its that is what drove it, but he has massive over reacted here...but so have you!

Yeah he was a knob but swearing at an innocent minor is completely unacceptable. You clearly said you told him to tell his dad he is a c**t - that is completely out of order and yes you absolutely should apologise for this.

This is one of those situations that has got crazy out if hand due to the 'red mist' that happens in the moment. He likely made assumptions about your parking, he is entitled to his opinion but imo he acted unreasonably but so did you when you ranted and swore to, and in front of, a minor. Yanbu to be annoyed - anyone would be tbf - but in the cold light of day surely you can see that you massively over reacted and directed your rage at the wrong person, who is also a minor. Just apologise and move on.

Not everyone with mobility issues qualifies for a disabled badge. Broken leg and need extra space? It’s temporary and you cannot get a disabled badge. Recovering from a hip replacement? Temporary and you cannot get a disabled badge. Getting older and just have less mobility? Probably won’t get a badge.
But these people all still need extra space. So, if the car park doesn’t give out tickets, then they can use two spaces to allow them the same access to the shops as everyone else.

They cannot use a disabled space but they can use two spaces if they need it. That’s the point that poster was using, to explain why people cannot always use a disabled space.

But again, you’ve been unable to comprehend that. Just do a tiny little bit of thinking.

The poster didn't say anything about parking in 2 disabled bays

I don’t think this was a case of parking badly, more of doing what she needed to do, but it was misguided.