AIBU to refuse apologising after being blocked in at Tesco?

[ThisIsAbsolutelyCrazy]

So, yesterday I go to Tesco with DH. DH is a wheelchair user and has a Blue Badge.

There were no disabled bays or parent and child bays so I went to a far corner of the car park where there were two empty rows of normal bays and parked between 2 bays so had room for DH to get in and out.

Lo and behold we came back to a car parked so close to my driver's side that I couldn't get between the cars - less than 10 inches in between. The car had parked over into the bay I had half parked in.

We were obviously WTF. The other bays around us were still empty.

Coming round to the front of the cars, we saw there was a young lad no more that 15-17 sitting in the passenger seat of the other car. He obviously couldn't get out of his door either because it was up against mine! I said 'what kind of idiot would park like this' or some such. He said 'my dad'. Then asked him why he'd blocked him in.as well. He didn't answer and just kept his head down. I will admit I did swear a bit saying for fucks sake, this is fucking disgusting. Then said 'tell your Dad he's a complete cunt'. At no point did I make threats to the lad or swear at him. I knew he didn't park the car.

Anyway I then climbed in through the passenger side, moved the car into the row in front, got DH in and we left.

The Dad had not come back. I'm kicking myself because I didn't take a picture of the way he'd parked.

Anyway, tonight at around 8pm there's a knock at the door and two policemen are there. My heart dropped because I thought it was about one of the DC (both were out with friends), but they said they'd had a complaint about me causing 'fear and alarm' to a minor!

Turns out the Dad must have already had my reg number and told the police what I'd said. No mention of how he'd blocked me deliberately and left his son trapped in the car!

He must have known whoever came back to the car would be angry!

Anyway police said I could make a formal apology to the boy and the matter would not be taken further - this was because I admitted swearing.

I said No I will not as I had figured out by then that the Dad had done this all deliberately. No clue who he is.

AIBU to think he must be an absolute psycho?

Especially to leave his son trapped in the car!

All the swearing and the 'tell your dad he's a complete cunt' could be quite upsetting and feel quite threatening for a young lad just sat in the car doing nothing wrong. His dad was in the wrong for poor parking but your behaviour was terrible.

What makes you think he deliberately trapped his child in the car? Maybe the child didn’t want to go into the shop? And you weren’t blocked in, as you did manage to get into the car via the passenger side. Your behaviour was totally unacceptable - swearing at a child is never a good look.
Calling the police is probably a bit of overkill, but you started it!

That's assuming that she displayed the blue badge. She wasn't in a disabled space, so might not have displayed it.

You sound incredibly tightly wound. This kind of thing shouldn’t make you so angry. You can’t control other people. You need to learn ways to deal with your temper. It’s never ok to speak like this, let alone to a child.

I mean, you sound pretty psycho TBH…

You really shouldn’t have confronted the boy as it wasn’t his fault but equally, what are the police actually going to do about it? Did they have the CCTV? If so, they take any action regarding how the other party had parked? Anyone who views the CCTV would understand why you were annoyed. I would be mortified to make a complaint after being so in the wrong myself, both with the way that I’d parked and for leaving a minor in the car to face the consequences. Some people are unbelievable.

What’s with all the threads where OP behaves like a total dickhead then expects back up/endorsement?

YABVU and should be ashamed of yourself.

If the Op had behaved like that on a plane she’d be escorted offf sharpish.

You are bang out of order - that teen had done nothing wrong at all; you were aggressive. The dad parked passive aggressively because of the way you were parked, but that does not excuse your treatment of his son.

"He knew they would be angry. I was pretty tame IMO"

Dread to see what's your not tame behaviour is like. Interesting that your DH said nothing.....

How is this any better? She’s taking up at least 3 spaces instead of 2.

I don’t understand why it’s beyond some people to think that maybe, just maybe someone who has parked at the back across 2 bays might have a disabled adult or multiple small children that means they need a bit of extra space to get in/out. I wouldn’t think twice if someone did this. No, it’s not reasonable to expect someone to park up and wait for a disabled park.

You are incredibly unlikely to be fined by Tesco for this as (a) they use ANPR which doesn’t account for how people park and (b) it would fall over on the basis of equal provision.

I might raise my eyebrows a bit if they did it at the parks closest to the front door, or if the parked car is a six figure sports car with gull wing doors, but I really wouldn’t bother making their life difficult.

Absolutely this. 9 times out of ten its a complete arsehole that doesnt want their car to be scratched that parks like this. The way you spoke to his son was disgusting. He probably already had taken a photo of your car to complain about how you had parked having not seen the blue badge.

U should have waited for the driver of the car to return and had a word with him and remember he probs didn't realise U needed all that space he saw a car over 2 spots and that probs made him pissed off !
Neither party in this scenario is in the right only the poor teenager that I swore at u do owe him an apology!
Maybe next time pull up and wait for your disabled bay to become free !

What are you talking about? You’re really struggling with comprehension. This has nothing to do with how close was to the disabled bays. When you see a car using two bays, assume they are doing so because they need too. Why would you assume anything else? You don’t need to be told why they are doing it - you have a brain, figure out that maybe they need the space. It isn’t difficult.

Do you not realise that disabled people are out and about, and take up space. When I see something “out of the norm” but that has a perfectly reasonable explanation, I’ll assume that’s the explanation and get on with my life. If I really want to take time out of my day to be bothered by it then I’d check for a blue badge and satisfy myself than I was right, this is just a disabled person living their life.

OP I think your use of language whether "at" the teenager or not is deplorable. My DS and DF are both disable badge holder users but it doesn't excuse disgusting language. Shame on YOU for not being able to be more disciplined around a kid. And YABVVU.

OP did absolutely nothing wrong.

A wheelchair user requires two bays if there are not enough disabled spaces, which there often aren’t. They are not selfish or entitled. If there are two bays available when they arrive then they have every right to use both, first come first served. It’s called equity to create equality - giving disabled people the access to “more than” others to create equality. Without two spaces or a disabled space, they cannot get out of their car.
Every shop I worked in as a student had a policy of telling them to use two spaces if the person they were with came in to say anything or complain about only having a few disabled spaces. It is not entitled.

Educate yourself on equity.

Nope !
I have a blue badge and did exactly this I came back to a deep scratch running the length of my brand new car !
People don't think all they see is U across 2 spaces !!

Probably as it's almost guaranteed someone dill ark right next to you. It will happen if you are the only car parked in the whole car park

Parking between 2 bays looks like you are entitled and self important.

I'll settle for people without a brain thinking I'm entitled and self important over not being able to go out with my husband or blocking the car park road for other users while I move the car to where there's room to open the door for him to get in with a brand new hip replacement.

It doesn't matter. They are not asking you to apologise to the dad. They are asking you to apologise to the boy who is an entirely innocent party in this.

I'm totally bemused at posters who are excusing OPs behaviour.

No doubt it is was OP posting that a man had yelled at her daughter and told her to tell her mum she was a cunt, the responses would have been that the man needed to be sent to jail and the daughter now needed lifelong therapy!

The level of anger and agression in our society is becoming massively unhealthy. Worse is how aggressive people are justifying it and encouraging it.

You’ve obviously never manoeuvred a wheelchair in a parking space. The disabled spaces are much wider to allow for this but a standard space wouldn’t be wide enough. Had she parked normally in the space and someone had parked next to her while she was in the supermarket, there wouldn’t be enough room to manage.

I’m a wheelchair user and in the absence of a free disabled space or P&C bay l will usually wait a bit for one to free up, and if that doesn’t happen l go home. That’s the reality for disabled people and l can understand OP’s frustration - not her behaviour though. I also wouldn’t recommend parking as she did - not least because it’s an open invitation to a parking ticket and private parking companies don’t care if you have a blue badge or not, they will still pursue the fine.

I’ve been in a situation where l’ve used a standard space and come out of the shop to find someone has squeezed in next to me and blocked the drivers’ door. I simply went back into the shop to customer services and had them announce it over the tannoy and he had to move his car. In OP’s situation l would have done the same thing, and enjoyed his discomfort when he realised what a dick he was !!

You sound completely unhinged. (And unreasonably sweary with a minor).

Handwringing? Nobody deserves to be spoken to in such a manner regardless of age, it's called common decency! The OP has a vile foul mouth.