AIBU to feel annoyed my father blocks plan for Christmas abroad

[spanishsangria]

I appreciate it's August, but it's a Christmas AIBU.

Every year for Christmas I travel up to Glasgow to be with my family. It's me, parents, and younger brother. For Christmas day we see grandparents for a while but they do their own thing.

DH and I have never spent Christmas together. His elderly mum lives in Cape Town. DH and her usually spend Christmas away somewhere warm, this year it's Mauritius.

I suggested to my parents and brother that maybe we could also go to Mauritius and rent our own villa for Christmas. My brother was very keen as he wanted to try a Christmas in the sun. My mother was also keen, but my father said absolutely not as he "is not leaving his family at Christmas" and he wants to "spend Christmas with family". I appreciate we have elderly relatives, but they are not infirm and my family see them multiple times a week. We can all afford it so money not the issue.

AIBU to be annoyed by this?

I can't understand never having Christmas with your husband. Usually couples where families don't live near each other do turn and turn about.

Just go to Mauritius.

Whats with all the christmas threads lately, it august.

YABU because you are blocking yourself from going. You cannot force your family to go with you, but YOU can go to Mauritius with your husband and his mother. Spend Christmas wherever you want to spend Christmas.

Go with your DH this year and next year invite your DH and MIL to Glasgow

Why aren’t you spending Xmas with your husband? You aren’t a child anymore!!

So your parents don't want to go?
You go with your partner and have a great time.
Maybe your Brother could also join you, if that works out.

If your Father doesn't want to go then that's up to him. Go if you want along wiith your brother and your Mum if they want go.

When DH and I married we told both sets of parents that we would alternate Christmas with each family. There was no way that DH and I wouldn't spend Christmas with each other.

@spanishsangria I agree with other posters that the way you do it is weird to me. Don't you like your husband very much?

Surely your DH is your primary relationship now you are married ? Cut the cord. Go with your DH.

You are, presumably, an adult, so why the need for your dad to approve your plans?

Well, if you absolutely have to do what your Dad says, then you'll be spending Christmas in Glasgow AGAIN.

How has he "blocked" it?

Just go.

Your father isn't blocking anything. He's not stopping you from going to Mauritius. It's perfectly reasonable that he doesn't want to come with you.

100+ replies all saying the same thing, and no reply from @spanishsangria 😄

This.

Just go to Mauritius with your husband and MIL. It is lovely!

Go to Cape Town, it sounds brilliant! You can see your parents either before or after your trip. There's a lot of compromise when you're married, and I imagine most people don't have both sides of the family together at Christmas!

I wouldn't want to go either. But if my son/daughter wanted to go, I wouldn't stand in their way.

Why is it unreasonable of him? He doesn’t want to leave out elderly relatives who cannot travel at Christmas. Why don’t you go with your husband and FIL?

You’re not a child, why does your father dictate what you do for Christmas? You are a married woman, surely you want to spend Christmas with your husband, and your parents should understand.

I voted YABU because you are being ridiculous to let him dictate what you do. Go with your husband.

It's perfectly fair enough that your father doesn't want to spend Christmas abroad. But that doesn't need to stop you going there with your DH for one year? If he tries to that then that would be something to complain about.

Why have you never spent Christmas with your husband?

The only one blocking this is you. You want to go to Cape Town, go to Cape Town. You can spend a Christmas apart from your family.

Your Husband is your primary family. Go with him.

What? You are grown up and married but go back home to your parents without your husband at Christmas? Why?! Just tell them what you'll be doing for Christmas if they ask. I dont think anyone seriously expects you to be apart from your husband at Christmas and if they do they need to give their heads a wobble! Go to Mauritius.

YABU not to just do what you want to for Christmas

Is your dad God or Santa?

Totally ridiculous carry on, go where you like!
It’s one bloody day.