AIBU to think being wealthy is vastly overrated?

[ForLoudBrickMember]

I know this will sound really out of touch and I apologies in advance if I offend anyone, but I’ve been reflecting on my life recently and I truly think it is the most overrated thing on the planet. I’m 35, total pre tax income of about £2 million with half coming from working as a partner oncologist in the states and half coming from active investing. DH makes slightly more, total household income of about £5 mil. Now I’ve done it I can say the following;

1. It feels totally normal.
2. It is incredibly isolating
3. The pressure/difficulty is intense. Ours are still far too young for this and trying to avoid it but it’s very common the DC face intense pressure/stress.
4. So so much sacrifice. I left everything behind in the UK, put off DC until late, missed out on so much etc.
5. Being average isn’t much worse. People earning the average wage can still afford a comfortable house, decent car, food, occasional holiday etc. Mum was completely broke as a child and even that would’ve been fine if she didn’t make brain dead decisions constantly.

Yet the average person seems to believe it’s endless bliss, no stress and every rich person is a genius who never tires and never feels sad. AIBU?

So just another stealth brag, really.

You have enough millions to leave the rat race, but you won't, despite your stress, because you want to accumulate more and more.

You could always give it away? Bit of a tactless post.

I doubt People queuing up at food banks. Families stuck in hostels and temporary accommodation. People going without electricity and gas. Debt letters in the mail. People can't afford holidays,school trips, activity clubs. Only 1 pair of shoes.

You have absolutely no idea 😌

Point 5 is complete nonsense

Also a massive LOL at thinking every rich person is a genius!

I thought the same.

I think it is enough to have enough. Enough is being able to meet your bills, feed and clothe yourselves and your children, have a warm roof over your heads and have a little extra for days out or a family holiday.

A person is rich when they have a loving multi-generational family, when they know they did their best by them, when they can sleep at night and not agonise about tomorrow and when they can help their neighbour by word or deed.

These things are not available to purchase at any price.

Poor me I'm really wealthy.

I assume you have saved lots of those millions so you can now relax give up work and enjoy the next 40 or more years? What's not to like? There was a lot of effort getting there but lots of people put in that amount of effort and don't get anywhere and are not living comfortably on what they earn. Why should your DC face any extra pressure? They just have the added advantage of your wealth and the likelihood of a big inheritance in the end. If you mean you expect them to live up to your example then you can change that.

Whatever your problems you have the ability to change many things in your life because of your wealth. Job too stressful, retire or work part time. Children under too much stress move them into a less stressful environment, let them develop their true interests, everything is easier if you have money.

Shall also be looking forward to reading in the newspapers in the next few days:

"Oncologist and wife give all their money to charity and downsize to a very small flat, as being wealthy was vastly over-rated."

I’d argue that if you’re not happy rich, you wouldn’t be happy poor either.

But you do have the resources to seek support with what is making you unhappy and try and change it… whereas if you’re poor it’s very difficult to access those resources.

I witnessed a horrific violent assault outside my house recently and it’s given me terrible anxiety. I also feel desperately guilty that I can’t afford to move to a better neighbourhood for my kids. Having more income would instantly solve that. But if my anxiety was caused by something else then maybe the money wouldn’t help.

Yes, there used to be regular 'my life is a misery because I'm so beeooodiful' posts here. Haven't seen one for a while.

There may be some downsides to extreme beauty, and extreme wealth. But they are vastly preferable to the opposite. Just as nobody wants to be poor, nobody wants to be ugly.

Op is just another poster who can't read the room on MN and thinks they deserve sympathy because they have to go to work.

“Oncologist and husband” - fixed it for you, OP is the oncologist. We don’t know the DH’s occupation….

I’m on an average salary and can’t afford therapy, even though I’d benefit from it. That’s just one of many things that wealth would get me. Having money doesn’t mean you don’t have problems, it means that you can access things to help you. You can outsource many things to help reduce the mental load.

If it's too much for you I'm sure there are plenty of people who will happily take that money off you, and you can find out what life is like on the breadline, you goady fuck.

YAB ridiculously Unreasonable.

But if your wealth is THAT much of a burden, I’d be happy to swap places

Why do wealthy people always have to tell everyone how wealthy they are? It's so weird. I used to work in a very posh place where every customer just had to shoehorn in how much better and wealthier they were than you.

The only family who weren't like it, the husband was a very famous international footballer; they were lovely, polite and humble.

I don't care what others have, and I don't really think most other people give it much thought, either. Happiness to me is having enough for my home and food and my loved ones being in good health.

Walking in the countryside makes me very happy indeed. We always went camping and people who like cruising would turn their noses up, but I've experienced the most amazing views of the sky and the countryside from my tent. I would not enjoy a cruise one bit.

There is no way I would leave my rural home town in the UK just to make tons of money overseas. Living where I do, close to my family, that is priceless to me.

I do not think money buys happiness but I am certain that it buys you freedom. I grew up without money and am lucky enough to have a teeny tiny proportion of what you have. It's very freeing to me to be able to stop at Starbucks or meet a friend for a (budget friendly) dinner without counting up. I know plenty of people who can't do that much so that feels amazing to me. I will never, ever not worry about money though - we don't have investments, we won't be able to give our kids the kind of start you will give yours, we can't afford a second car... there are all sorts of things that would make my life much much easier, healthier, happier if I had millions instead of thousands (could have a cleaner or a cook or a personal trainer or a babysitter or take taxis when my leg hurts - I have a disability - or all sorts of things...) so it's a bit silly to say that it's not easier than not having money

And I'm super lucky! We can pay our bills and get a coffee and send our daughter to ballet classes. There are many, many families who can't do any of this. I am on the PTA at our school and we had a cinema night at the school - partially because so many of our kids had never been to the cinema. We just pulled the shades down in the auditorium and got licensed to show a movie and sell cheap sweets. It cost £9 per family and we had 'two' families ask to pay in installments. There is no chance your life isn't immeasurably better than that.

You are speaking from a place of privilege. You can afford the very best healthcare and education for your dc, an impossible dream for many, many people. They will likely have opportunities to travel and have experiences and career opportunities that again, would be an idle dream for many. Does it come at a price, yes, but for most people it would be absolutely worth it. And of course you can always become less wealthy if you so choose. Yabu.

They also have high levels of social equality, which is a major factor in happiness. Extremes of wealth seen in places like America are much less prevalent, because those on high salaries also pay very high taxes. Rich but unequal societies like America fare much less well in terms of national well being.

Isn’t that partly that everyone is equal? Inequality breeds dissatisfaction. No one in this country needs to be poor in global terms - no scavenging on rubbish dumps with 4 kids in tow, but comparative poverty is rising. People notice not what they have, but what they don’t have.

In answer to your question OP, no, being wealthy is not overrated.

To be honest this thread doesn't feel genuine as I read it. Why would someone on that money feel the need to write this? Are you really a researcher or writing a book and trying to get a feel of what people think?

So why do you keep working then? You’re making £1m on investments, that’s a healthier retirement than most. You have the freedom to live any life you want and you’re choosing the one you’re living now. How can you not see that that’s a luxury compared to someone struggling to feed themselves and their children and absolutely no choice in their life.

I was able to retire before I even moved to the states. It is a trap and was very depressing, I felt like I had no purpose in life and wasn’t contributing anything to society

Oh the sacrifice OP. And such a burden to have to consider how to spend your millions every year.

@ForLoudBrickMember “People sometimes regret not having a certain career e.g. nurse but it’s rare for someone to regret not becoming wealthy.”

I regret it.

If you ever want to give some money or gifts away to someone who would genuinely appreciate it, feel free to let me know. I’m debating another few days away up north somewhere cheap and cheerful where I can self cater so it doesn’t come in too expensive.

it does actually really bother me that you don’t appreciate what you have. There are so many great things to appreciate. If I can appreciate what I have, why can’t you?

normally, I am very pleased for people who are wealthy but if they don’t enjoy it, then there’s not much point me being pleased is there?

I’ve absolutely no idea whether it’s overrated or not to be that wealthy. When I had savings though it felt reassuring to know of my car broke down etc I could afford to fix it and still get to work.

Sometimes you need to experience the opposite of something to remember how good it felt. Who is going to give away all their money though?

I do agree that money can’t buy happiness.

Well done on your wealth, you’ve obviously worked hard for it. I don’t know the answer here but I understand what you are saying.