AIBU to think being wealthy is vastly overrated?

[ForLoudBrickMember]

I know this will sound really out of touch and I apologies in advance if I offend anyone, but I’ve been reflecting on my life recently and I truly think it is the most overrated thing on the planet. I’m 35, total pre tax income of about £2 million with half coming from working as a partner oncologist in the states and half coming from active investing. DH makes slightly more, total household income of about £5 mil. Now I’ve done it I can say the following;

1. It feels totally normal.
2. It is incredibly isolating
3. The pressure/difficulty is intense. Ours are still far too young for this and trying to avoid it but it’s very common the DC face intense pressure/stress.
4. So so much sacrifice. I left everything behind in the UK, put off DC until late, missed out on so much etc.
5. Being average isn’t much worse. People earning the average wage can still afford a comfortable house, decent car, food, occasional holiday etc. Mum was completely broke as a child and even that would’ve been fine if she didn’t make brain dead decisions constantly.

Yet the average person seems to believe it’s endless bliss, no stress and every rich person is a genius who never tires and never feels sad. AIBU?

I think the issue with this is that your point 5 isn’t true, particularly in the UK. People on average wages are struggling to eat, struggling to cover childcare, being in really sticky situations trying to get back to work, because you need 2 salaries to survive but at least 1 of those salaries will be eaten by childcare. Lots of family can’t afford a holiday or the average lifestyle you are describing. People are queueing for years to get healthcare and living with pain/chronic illnesses and don’t have funds to go private. Lots of services such as healthcare and education are failing people. If you COULD live a decent lifestyle on average wages, you might have a point that extra money isn’t that beneficial. But that’s simply not the case. I’ve got friends on £150k household income, who can’t afford a holiday (£3k a month childcare bill) and shop in charity shops.

We are higher earners and last month I was able to handover £5k to the vet to save my beloved cats life. I am BEYOND grateful that I didn’t have to consider finances in this situation and can’t imagine having to consider the alternatives because of money!

I didn’t say poor, I said average- like you said in your OP. Although I suspect you still mean well off, as you’re ridiculously naive if you think I people on ‘average’ salaries aren’t struggling.

Obviously this is probably some sort of bored-lunch break cock and bull anyway, but if not, there’s absolutely nothing to stop you giving away a vast sum of money and living more simply.

Why are there so many fantasists on mumsnet this week? Or is it one very busy one?

Which ones?! The happiest nations are usually Scandinavian specifically because they have such a high standard of living!

Totally agree, Op argues they have worked hard and sacrificed.

What about the single mother working 3 minimum wage jobs to put food on her kids table. She sacrifices time with them to feed them and is still poor.....

Assuming op and their partner have earned this much for a few years they could easily be sensible with savings and retire a comfortable life without working another day in their life.

With the income they have 2-3 years would set them up to have a larger passive income than most of us will ever have from full time work.

You are being unreasonable and I struggle to believe this is anything other than a goady post

1m in passive income, so assets of 20m. very high salary even for the US.

not sure about this post to be honest

People earning the average wage can still afford a comfortable house, decent car, food, occasional holiday etc

Surely you must know this isn't true for many people? No-one is that out of touch are they?

You say you have investment income of £1M per year. So you could retire today and do whatever the fuck you liked for the rest of your life, within reason, and never worry about running out of money, even if you lived to be a hundred. That's a level of financial security the other 99% could never dream of.

I enjoy the certainty wealthy people have that those with lower incomes aren't working hard, getting stressed or making sacrifices.

The op is presumably welcome to change their lifestyle and give away their wealth if they find it too taxing. Many charities would be grateful.

The thing is if you aren't very happy when you're rich where do you go from there.

These were all your choices. Very first world problems.

I was going to say the same. All the studies about the link between money and happiness suggest that the benefits of wealth start to level off at a point which is twice or three times what most people are earning. Sure, if you've got millions in the bank, another one or two million isn't going to make much of a difference. But for the vast majority of people, more money means less worry, less friction, less stress and more freedom.

Put it this way. Almost everyone wants to be rich. Nobody wants to be poor.

I had to check my calendar to make sure it wasn't April 1st. This is a bit like saying that life really sucks when you are beautiful / handsome. I have nothing remotely serious to add, other than to say that OP is being totally U!

Weeping for you to the accompaniment of a tiny violin, OP.

As i like to put it, “money can’t buy you everything, but it’s one hell of a cushion.”

Some remote indigenous and local communities with very little money report life satisfaction levels just as high as those in the world's wealthiest nations.

You have choices. You could retire & fully realise all the benefits.

If you have a lot of money you always have the option of getting rid of it, especially if it's causing you so much angst

If this is a real post.... the issues that you have are not caused by wealth and wouldn't necessarily be resolved by wealth unless you specifically recognise your issues and use your wealth to help you resolve them.

Feeling incredibly isolated isn't to do with wealth. It's to do with your chosen lifestyle, where you live, the society/culture that you're in.... all things you can choose to address.

Your children don't inevitably need to feel intense pressure or stress. That's coming from you, your friendship group, your chosen society. Don't act like it's outside of your control!

You say "sacrifice", where you mean "choice". Missing out on things you wanted in order to get other things you wanted more are normal choices, not a matter of great sacrifice. Nothing you mention is a massive sacrifice in general terms. If you now regret your choices, then make better ones from now on. Reflect a little on why things you thought were important now aren't. Again, none of this is caused by or solved by wealth.

Of course being average in a wealthy country is fine, and not a horrible position to be in. Being below average in a wealthy country is also ok. But being very wealthy is clearly still much more advantageous! You would be very silly to think that it's not.

Also, "the average person seems to believe it’s endless bliss, no stress and every rich person is a genius who never tires and never feels sad." - this is bollocks, people don't think this. But they recognise that if you do face significant issues you have much more choice in how to handle those issues that the average person doesn't have access to.

I can't be the only one reading this and thinking it's a piss take surely?!

No - I could cope very well!

Money doesn’t buy happiness but it sure takes the sting out of being poor.

Exactly - the point of being very wealthy isn’t to… keep spending all of your time working!

Are you actually taking the piss though? You earn enough that you could stop work if you wanted soon enough and life whatever life you want. Money buys choice.

I can imagine that an income like yours must take the worry away about the bills. It must be nice being able to do what you want without the worry about paying for it all.
I worry about care homes and the prices they charge. How people will afford 8k a month for care is beyond me and it’ll only get worse. It’s something that successive governments have kicked down the road and no wonder councils are in the red over it all for those who are not self funding, but I hate to derail the thread.