AIBU to think being wealthy is vastly overrated?

[ForLoudBrickMember]

I know this will sound really out of touch and I apologies in advance if I offend anyone, but I’ve been reflecting on my life recently and I truly think it is the most overrated thing on the planet. I’m 35, total pre tax income of about £2 million with half coming from working as a partner oncologist in the states and half coming from active investing. DH makes slightly more, total household income of about £5 mil. Now I’ve done it I can say the following;

1. It feels totally normal.
2. It is incredibly isolating
3. The pressure/difficulty is intense. Ours are still far too young for this and trying to avoid it but it’s very common the DC face intense pressure/stress.
4. So so much sacrifice. I left everything behind in the UK, put off DC until late, missed out on so much etc.
5. Being average isn’t much worse. People earning the average wage can still afford a comfortable house, decent car, food, occasional holiday etc. Mum was completely broke as a child and even that would’ve been fine if she didn’t make brain dead decisions constantly.

Yet the average person seems to believe it’s endless bliss, no stress and every rich person is a genius who never tires and never feels sad. AIBU?

Indeed, I'm not sure all posters appreciate that in this story our hard working doctor couple, that started off by selling tat on eBay are now, just a decade and a half later, sitting on income producing assets north of £50mn....built up whilst at the same time driving medical careers at record breaking speed, relocating, firing out a couple of kids, and having time to post all about it on MN...

it's most unbelievable!

Well I know that there will be pressures but I assume you aren’t hungry most of the day so your DC are fed, you aren’t dreading every text, phone call or email that it will be something cut off and juggling what that is so your DC don’t miss out. That you don’t have to figure out what excuse to give family or friends for why you can’t invite them over or visit because you can’t actually host them (extra ingredients required or fuel to go there and a gift). What you can buy for £10-12 a week to feed the family. How you can sell something but yet it takes months of legal wrangling to come through and the fees of doing so eat into most of what you get. How you are in pain and can no longer afford any otc medication to top up your prescription which you are lucky is free where you live or you would be completely bedridden. How you won’t be able to afford a driving test or insurance for your DC all because your income changed through no fault of your own and you can see no way out for the next 18 months. How you used to be able to help out your family and friends even by doing little jobs or minding their Dc or making them meals when they were ill etc but now you can’t because you can’t afford to because every bite is rationed, every drop of fuel counts and there’s no heating in cold weather. You don’t wage a constant battle against mould to make sure everyone stays healthy. That’s pretty isolating and vastly overrated too I can assure you.

Oh bugger off with your 5 million. Of course you sometimes feel sad. Everyone does but I bet you dont feel sad for the same reasons as me. Recently laid off due to redundancy with 2 months wages left, I'd take your sadness over worrying over losing my house or eating any day of the week.

Having money gives you a level of freedom because you can afford to make choices and you are not stuck with limited options. That means choices over healthcare, schools, college/university, housing location, holidays, retirement dates, care homes, quality of food, quality of clothing, country you live in etc.

You can also choose to take a lower paid, less pressured job.

Cannot believe you had the audacity to post this.

Being rich is boring to you?

I think that’s the most privileged and out of touch thing I’ve ever read on here.

Try struggling to feed your children and relying on food banks to keep them fed.

Of course it isn't over rated. There's not a single thing in life that isn't easier if you're financially secure. Every awful thing that can happen to a person from ill health, to bereavement to relationship breakdown carries less stress with a cushion of wealth behind you than it would without it.
Most importantly it gives you options. Don't like your life? You're not trapped in it. Use your security to make change.
And if all else fails and your money isn't making you happy, you can always give it away and experience the warm glow of making someone else happy.

Nailed it. Bet she won't though.

People earning the average wage can still afford a comfortable house, decent car, food, occasional holiday etc.

In fact, many of them cannot.

It's something I'm never likely to know

LOL, you are absolutely right of course. There have been a lot of these types of posts lately - I just engage with the general idea of the opening question posited until I get too much flack/get bored. Am not entirely sure that more than 15% of the threads on here these days are authentic, rather than engagement farming for discourse analysts. Best to take it all with a pinch of salt and have fun with it whilst avoiding the ironing pile…

How can it feel both normal and isolating…

Don’t take it to heart, it’s not real.

I don't understand the issue if you love your job and don't want to retire. I can see how it wouldn't be worth it if you sacrificed your whole life for work but you could easily reap the rewards for a few years then do something less stressful.

I can also see how people that come into money instantly struggle sometimes. It'd be a huge adjustment to win millions and a lot of pressure feeling like you had to help everyone out.

The way that money makes people happier is by smoothing their path through life, it isn’t intrinsically amusing on its own.
There are probably thousands of small incidents that can wear you down even in a few months of being very poor (even if you are housed and not starving), if you have money you don’t experience any of them.
Whereas at the other end of the scale, after a couple of incredible shopping sprees/holidays and flexing in front of some people, the novelty value of even huge amounts will die away as with any experience.

You say that, but I observe that my Nan and the queen were born very close together, looked very similar in their earlier life, but mysteriously the queen managed to live twenty years longer despite her busy schedule and stressful relatives….

@vodkaredbullgirl

Ha ha - yes - popcorn indeed. My thought is this OP:

It's easier to cry in a Mercedes than on a bike

This is due to a mix of genetics, lifestyle choices, and environment.

The phrase "death is the great equaliser" means that every person dies, no matter how rich, powerful, or famous they are in life. Wealth, status, and strength cannot stop death. In the end, everyone faces the same fate.

Sure, but you can't deny the link between life expectancy and income.

https://www.health.org.uk/resources-and-toolkits/data-tools/evidence-hub/relationship-between-income-and-life-expectancy-by

Exactly not to be taken with a pinch of salt
But the whole contents of the Saxa salt factory.

🤣🤣

And by the way, at the most aggressive rate of return possible, the OP would have to have around 13 million invested to earn 1m passive income/year. It would be very unusual indeed to have everything in high risk, high return investments. No financial advisor worth the air they breathe would agree to that. They almost always advise a mix of conservative, moderate and higher yield, so assuming a mixed risk level, the OP would need something more like 20m invested to be receiving that level of passive income.

I'm leaving posters to judge the likelihood of that for themselves.

I’ve just read the OP @ForLoudBrickMember and noticed that you said ‘the average person seems to believe…every rich person is a genius’.

Where did you get that idea? I think many rich people are absolutely not geniuses, most of them are just very privileged and fortunate. Some of them have got rich through being very entrepreneurial but that’s absolutely not the same thing as being a genius. Some of them have got rich from dodgy dealings and avoiding the tax man. That’s not what I call genius either.

In fact most of the people I know who I believe have some level of genius are actually piss poor. That’s kind of how the world works. Maybe you use a different definition of ‘genius’ to me.

Anyway, I know you’re long gone or possibly not real in the first place. I just had to laugh that you think the average person looks up to rich people as geniuses. C’mon. Donald Trump? Elon Musk? Kardashians? Geniuses they are not.

I’m not denying anything. There is a strong link between life expectancy and wealth.

In the end we all die.

Here's my non-satirical take.

Money can't make you happy per se, BUT it can buy you routes to happiness.

You can escape from people who cause you misery and desperation.

You can afford decent healthcare and don't have to live in fear of bad health - you or your children

If something goes horrendously wrong you have a means to get back up on your feet, quickly, and without obligation to others.

You are not trapped by bad people who want to use you for their own gain.

You have the freedom of choice - you can choose peace of mind over trouble, calm and contentment over abject worry, fear and emotional turmoil.

You can buy as many cats as you want, and fuck everyone who says you can't/shouldn't etc. You can choose to live with your cats and slam the door on the rest of cold, cruel society never needing to engage again, beyond the delivery driver who delivers the cat food. And yours.

So in these ways, money can absolutely purchase you your slice of heavenly peace.

Amen

I’m no where near as wealthy as you OP, probably the richest in our friendship group though, I do NOT think we’re the happiest however!

I do think we sleep easier at night though and definitely have lower stress levels, but I don’t think that makes you happy.

honestly I want to try something else, I’ve always wanted to be a dinner lady!