AIBU to think being wealthy is vastly overrated?

[ForLoudBrickMember]

I know this will sound really out of touch and I apologies in advance if I offend anyone, but I’ve been reflecting on my life recently and I truly think it is the most overrated thing on the planet. I’m 35, total pre tax income of about £2 million with half coming from working as a partner oncologist in the states and half coming from active investing. DH makes slightly more, total household income of about £5 mil. Now I’ve done it I can say the following;

1. It feels totally normal.
2. It is incredibly isolating
3. The pressure/difficulty is intense. Ours are still far too young for this and trying to avoid it but it’s very common the DC face intense pressure/stress.
4. So so much sacrifice. I left everything behind in the UK, put off DC until late, missed out on so much etc.
5. Being average isn’t much worse. People earning the average wage can still afford a comfortable house, decent car, food, occasional holiday etc. Mum was completely broke as a child and even that would’ve been fine if she didn’t make brain dead decisions constantly.

Yet the average person seems to believe it’s endless bliss, no stress and every rich person is a genius who never tires and never feels sad. AIBU?

Do you distribute some of your wealth to those in need?

I can't think of a single life event that wouldn't be made even worse by worrying about money in addition.

Money is a buffer.

I sort of agree. We are not millionaires but we are a 6 figure household and we have a really great life. We don't need to budget for food, don’t have to worry if the kids need a new pair of school shoes. We go one three holidays a year, eat out once a week and manage to save 5 figures a year for a rainy day/investing.

If we were millionaires there isn’t much more we would need that we can’t already buy, other than more things, more holidays, bigger house (which we don’t need), fancier car (which we don’t need) But I think you’re overlooking the fact it’s easy to be dismissive of wealth when you have it.

I grew up for a large part of my childhood on the poverty line and it was miserable. There isn’t a single part of our life that wouldn’t have been helped then with more money.

Yes, having read this again, it’s nonsense… Someone decided if they could start a thread where someone wouldn’t be able to come along say they’d become richer, younger, more worthily (consultant oncologist!!).

A £1m passive income requires about £10m-£20m in assets to do reliably…and from nothing it seems! At 35!? All whilst becoming clearly a world-leading oncologist (you don’t get £1m a year even as a surgeon at 35 just by being very good). And couple of kids too!! Yeah, right…

Total bullshit post for many reasons so not even sure why I'm engaging. But chiefly if this were true and you are making so much money by working as a partner oncologist in a deprived area in the US you are making a lot of money out of other people's misery and the utterly horrific US health system. Thats one veey good reason to feel bad about yourself.

I go to work every day and listen to my cousin & her DC, who work there, talk about planning their latest long haul trip at Christmas. Luxury trip, wherever they please, and they don't appreciate it 'have days to fill in X city', no excitement. Already had two holidays this year & two more planned before the big one. Come & go as they please, buy new cars, whatever they want. Kid needs braces, no problem. DC go to uni to study whatever & wherever they please, all paid for. One is having a famous person they know through their fancy school drive them to their formal in their race car & another, still in uni, is off travelling all Christmas with a mate.

Meanwhile, I'm trying to plan how we can afford DD's braces in two years and how to do a diy holiday close to home on the cheap, despite desperately wanting to travel further abroad. It'll be self catering so not even a break from cooking or washing for me! DC won't have the opportunity or luxury these kids have. I am just looking into the future of bleak work, DH & I battling for enough time off to look after DC in holidays as we can't afford vacation care and a holiday. Can't afford to upgrade cars, etc.

Trust me, wealth is much, much, better.

indeed and also the husband is pulling in 3mn per year. I assumed the same 50/50 ratio from employment and investments. so he's got 1.5 per year coming in which implies assets 30mn.

so together £50mn.... absolutely rubbish

Agreed. I posted this earlier, quick calculation and I'm not even very good at maths

And by the way, at the most aggressive rate of return possible, the OP would have to have around 13 million invested to earn 1m passive income/year. It would be very unusual indeed to have everything in high risk, high return investments. No financial advisor worth the air they breathe would agree to that. They almost always advise a mix of conservative, moderate and higher yield, so assuming a mixed risk level, the OP would need something more like 20m invested to be receiving that level of passive income.

I'm leaving posters to judge the likelihood of that for themselves.

I've no advice, I'm afraid, but I love tiny violin pictures and gifs.

Here's my usual.

Tell me you've never been poor, without telling me you've never been poor!

There is no way you've been penniless if you really think that being rich is overrated, which makes you so privileged that you can't see any problem in making a post like this.

At my lowest, I literally would have zero pence left on pay day. Or in a good month, I might be able to afford a daily coffee at work (at 10p). Even then it wasn't really that bad, because I lived with my parents, so I had a roof over my head and enough food, plus my Mum would lend me money if I asked. But I'll never forget having to count every single penny.

Now I'm older and don't have to worry about money at all. The mortgage is almost paid off, I have savings in the bank, and no debt. The difference is definitely not overrated! Having a cushion to fall back on means that nothing is a disaster - boiler breaks - no problem, car breaks down - no problem, and so on. It removes that panicky feeling about everything, and gives me a peace of mind that the poorer me didn't have.

And that's how I know you've never been poor!! Which in a weird way is a shame, in so much as you don't even appreciate how good you have it - what a crying shame! Having experienced both, I am grateful every single day.

I dont know, I havent tried it.

I would be willing to take a bunch of your money off you if you like, and I can report back?

I’m not wealthy but do agree with you.

I go away on a horrible retreat every year with no phones or food, on an island, it sounds awful and it is but I appreciate my life so much after it and it clears my mind. I’d recommend it to you.

If you are not happy the you absolutely can make changes and should do it, wealthy or not. Don’t be trapped x x

Money solves many important problems: it provides food, shelter, healthcare, enjoyment.

But once people have got those things, and have long term security, they tend to realise that people need more than material things to be happy. Like community, values, goals, interests.

Having said that, I know if we suddenly had millions, we’d be thrilled! We have so many hobbies and interests that we could enjoy all the time instead of working. And I’d love to spend more time with DP and DD. So feel free to give it all to us if you’re not that bothered about it! :D

Also, perhaps don’t play the “sacrifice” card. There will be people with far less than you who have worked far harder, suffered far more, “sacrificed” more. And 35 is not old to have kids already.

@ForLoudBrickMember you don’t have to work as much as you do. It’s your choice.

Not sure your post is entirely serious but wasn’t there a study done that there is a limit of happiness reached via money ie where you can do what you want everyday within reason (shop where you want, live where you want, buy nice things you want), but aside from that the rest doesn’t really enhance your life much because in reality who wants a private jet to get on holiday etc. These things become extras that don’t actually increase happiness.

Anyway, if you don’t enjoy working and feel bitter about it you can quit and presumably live mortgage free and with lots in the bank. Problem solved.

I earn £17,000 a year as a single parent, one of my children is autistic.. I’ll trade you! I have to rely on food parcels some weeks…

I agree. The love of money is the route of all evil. Being deeply wealth focused makes perfect sense if we didnt die, but we do! Once you are financially comfortable, more wealth doesnt make a person any happier. Its a hard lesson to learn if you have devoted your life to greater accumilation of money, but at least you learnt it before you die. Now you can use that wealth to make the world a better place than the one you were born into, like Dolly Parton ( God rest her sweet soul).

At end of life, money can’t help and at that stage it seems pointless to talk about all the times money would’ve helped

End of life moments are often more about love, impact, value and legacy.

Money makes daily life a lot easier. Boiler or car repairs, unexpected travel, illness and so on can be absolutely debilitating for people who don’t have money to pay for them.

The standard a person needs to maintain doesn’t necessarily bring happiness. Money makes it clear that above the essentials, love and support and joy cannot be bought and having money others want brings its own cost and possible isolation.

Who wants to be super-rich when seeing so many people struggle for the basics??

I don’t understand why Jeff Bezos doesn’t just pay all Amazon staff at least twice as much. If I were him that’s what would make me feel happier (but of course I’m not him and haven’t made millions!!)

Mathematically and financially there is more than enough money in the world to lift every person out of extreme poverty.

It’s a shame it doesn’t happen!