Threw water at my DP, was I justified

[Beestings1]

I feel bad for doing this, it’s really out of character for me but I did it instinctively and out of shock. I was stood up pouring some water from the sink on my lunch break, DP backed up against me so his bum was touching mine and he broke wind. I turned around and swilled him with water. I know it was wrong but the disrespect and shock made me angry in that moment.

He is now saying I was out of order and isn’t accepting my apology.

was there not a recent post where DP threw the water, IIRC that was roundly deemed as assault.

In this case DP is a disgraceful lout who needs to grow the F up.

@Beestings1 , what if you were holding a cup of tea?
What if the glass was wet and slipped and you threw the glass at him?
What if 'out of character' you lost it because he's done it once too often and stuck the glass in his neck?

IMHO, no need to apologise to him. WFT did he expect you to do, and I would not just move on either, he needs to change.

I don’t get it?

When you threw the water over him did his string vest get wet ?

I think you meant to say being farted on was a deal-breaker. But what you said was “not being farted on was a deal-breaker” for you 🤣

Oh ok it made sense in my head! But yes it’s like a double negative 😂 I feel very strongly that people should not fart on me!

Ditch him. Thats is gross. Ick.

He is vile. Normally I would say throwing water at someone out of anger is a big no in a relationship. But what did he expect with his behaviour. You shouldn't be the one apologising.

Women often look back on abusive partners and wonder when did it start.

You are in a disrespectful relationship which is EXACTLY where it starts.

Sadly women who tolerate this type of behaviour and explain it away, are very vulnerable.

He's low class and uncouth.
Be very aware that you have clearly tolerated multiple incidents and now it has escalated to this.

Your behaviour bar is dangerously low that he has felt so comfortable treating you like this.

Do the www.freedomprogramme.co.uk....it is very helpful for women with low self-esteem that need help with their boundaries.

One incident would be enough for a women with self esteem.

You really deserve better than the disgusting pig he is.

He sounds like he belongs in a farmyard not a relationship.

He is now saying I was out of order and isn’t accepting my apology.

Did you accept his apology? Does he think your reaction was worse than his action? What is it that he wants to have happen instead of an apology?

I don't know your history, but if someone did this to me I would have had a strong involuntary response - most likely screaming and/or hitting out but if I happened to have a basin of water in my hands I can't say I wouldn't instinctively use it, out of no malice at all but simply panic and my mind racing to stave off perceived danger in any way possible. This is a pretty common trauma response. I guess your husband doesn't think you have trauma so expects you to react differently, but if he goes around doing this he was going to get an extreme reaction at some point so he might as well learn the lesson now.

Or did he already understand that this is completely unacceptable but thinks he can do it to YOU anyway with no regard for your feelings and no consequences?

Interesting

someone can fart on their partner and that’s fine…..