Overhead neighbours talking about me?

[crazykatzz]

I have always got on with my neighbour who lives a few a doors down.

I have babysat one of her kids and also looked after her cat when she goes on holiday.

She does have a mean girl vibe about her though and she does have a habit of talking about others.

I asked her to do look after my cats and do my bins whilst I was away with DC and she happily agreed.

Whilst I was loading the car I overheard and another neighbour complaining about me calling on my cats every night.

Convo was like

Neighbour 1 "Did you hear her yelling for her cats again?"

Neighbour who is looking after my cats "I heard it but went back to bed".

Neigbour 2 "I can't believe how her neighbours haven't said anything, it's every effing night, literally by their next door neighbours windows every night, literally, I am absolutely sick of it, wakes me up every effing night".

Neighbour who is looking after my cats "Yeah I know as it's as the back it is really loud."

I popped my head up from the passenger seat and they stopped talking.

For reference Neigbour 2 would regularly
play her music at for hours on end so it was ironic hearing her complain about me. I also helped her with her gardening.

I feel this is very 2 faced and want to step back and wondering why they didn't approach me directly instead of talking about me.?

AIBU to not talk to them when I get back of holiday?

I do suffer from anxiety so not sure if I am over reacting here.
AIBU

"Gosh, isn't it funny how we all do things which can annoy our neighbours. I never thought about calling my cats but I'm always aware of playing music too loud or gossiping in the street."

🤣🤣🤣

I’d get the issue sorted before you go away so that you aren’t worrying and nursing your resentment all holiday. Just apologise for disturbing them and say you will try to keep it down in future.

If you refuse to speak to them when you get back, …where does that get you? . It will make you very unhappy and isolated living amongst them. And you will only be hurting yourself.
Try not to escalate it. Put yourself out to get along with them, as you always have done until now.
Just accept accountability and move on. Then you will feel better about it and about yourself.

People talk though. I would say the same too. It actually sounds quite funny tbh. The same way they haven't approached OP about it... she could also. Its not a big deal given its true.

which one are you annoyed at? I don't think neighbour who is looking after your cats said anything particularly rude, she just agreed that you shouting from the back of your house will be louder to your neighbour at the back, which is surely just a statement of fact? Neighbour 2 does sound bitchy and I would understand you not helping her out again.

But also, if 3 different people all agreed you calling your cats is annoying, you should probably stop doing it!

Why don’t people hear shit like this and reflect on their own actions instead of immediately getting defensive? As if owning cats isn’t antisocial enough - you yawp their names out late at night. They were justified in what they said and you need to try to be a better neighbour.

The correct response to hearing this would be mild embarrassment that you've been annoying your neighbors and immediate decision to change the annoying behavior then forget it and move along.

My neighbour does this its bloody annoying but she uses a baby voice to call them which is the most annoying part

If you can I’d get a microchip cat flap and put it on incoming only after a certain time so that once they are in, they stay in.
When we had multiple cats this is how we kept track of them without having to keep calling them.
They should be in ideally by dusk because that’s when they tend to go further afield and when birds etc are settling down.
Hearing someone repeatedly calling is annoying, a lady across the road from us does it, I’m not sure I’d bother moaning to someone about it but I might agree if someone asked me about it, so maybe that’s why she hasn’t previously mentioned it, it hadn’t come up in conversation with anyone else.

It may be louder than you realise OP. It is annoying to get woken up regularly at night. You could just mention you heard that people were bothered by it and you'll try to be quieter. Cats have good hearing so there may be no need to shout.

Late evening and multiple times?

yeah that would piss me off too @crazykatzz YABU.

Why not just get a cat flap

YABU. That sounds really annoying and if I were your neighbour, I’d be unhappy too. You are clearly walking your neighbours so stop the shouting.

Suffering from anxiety is irrelevant here.

Stop it. You're disturbing your neighbours. Call them in earlier if you have to call them in, or get a cat flap

Calling cats every night sounds really really annoying! Find another way that isn’t annoying and disturbing your neighbours

What a shame you didn’t go ‘Oy, excuse, Miss I’m going to play music all ruddy night!’ I bloody hate that. Neighbour was using a pneumatic drill yesterday, music blasting (my Dh already told him to turn it down last week). He’s moved into a small street with families/older people and isn’t making himself popular.

Repeatedly calling the cats is extremely annoying!

Just get a cat flap and stop roaring your cats’ names?

Ignore them. Especially the hypocrite who listen to music, who's she to talk badly about you calling for your cat?

With that said, do you actually do it every night? For how long? I'm no cat expert, but I thought cats are capable of finding their own way home? Is it necessary to call for it every night?

If you're waking the neighbour up then it clearly isn't her playing the loud music at night.

You really need to take the feedback on board op, it's really not OK to be out late shouting.

To be honest that would annoy me a lot. It's a shame they haven't spoken to you directly about it though. But shouting outside late at night, whatever the reason, isn't acceptable.

No need for shouting. Just crack open a tuna tin. All the cats will appear by magic. You might even get some extra cats 🤣

Correct response (IMO)

'Oh hi, you should have said. Sorry, I didn't realise there was a problem!'

As it is, you now know not to call your cats so loudly. Protip: give said cats a couple of Dreamies at the ame time every evening when they come home and they will quickly learn to queue up outside the door.

I hear a woman the next street over shouting for her cat every night, our gardens are 100ft so 200ft back to back and she's half way down the road from us. It is annoying. We have a cat and a cat flap, you can lock it overnight if you want to keep them in then. Also cats can be clicker trained like dogs. If I really need mine in (eg unexpected fireworks) I can click and he comes in.

Yes you would be unreasonable to stop talking to them.

You could say they were bitching about you, but also they have put up with being annoyed daily by you and not said anything, presumably to keep the peace or not upset you or just be tolerant.
Now you know. Unfortunate how you found out but I don't think you have the moral highground here and maybe rather than the silent treatment you should apologise and find a new plan for the cats.

It wouldn't occur to me to call for my cat. He comes in through the cat flap when he's ready.