Overhead neighbours talking about me?

[crazykatzz]

I have always got on with my neighbour who lives a few a doors down.

I have babysat one of her kids and also looked after her cat when she goes on holiday.

She does have a mean girl vibe about her though and she does have a habit of talking about others.

I asked her to do look after my cats and do my bins whilst I was away with DC and she happily agreed.

Whilst I was loading the car I overheard and another neighbour complaining about me calling on my cats every night.

Convo was like

Neighbour 1 "Did you hear her yelling for her cats again?"

Neighbour who is looking after my cats "I heard it but went back to bed".

Neigbour 2 "I can't believe how her neighbours haven't said anything, it's every effing night, literally by their next door neighbours windows every night, literally, I am absolutely sick of it, wakes me up every effing night".

Neighbour who is looking after my cats "Yeah I know as it's as the back it is really loud."

I popped my head up from the passenger seat and they stopped talking.

For reference Neigbour 2 would regularly
play her music at for hours on end so it was ironic hearing her complain about me. I also helped her with her gardening.

I feel this is very 2 faced and want to step back and wondering why they didn't approach me directly instead of talking about me.?

AIBU to not talk to them when I get back of holiday?

I do suffer from anxiety so not sure if I am over reacting here.
AIBU

The neighbour who looks after your cats barely said anything. She basically said, “I heard, but went to bed” and then, “hmm, yeah, it can be loud.”

She didn’t join in complaining, she didn’t say anything rude. Just “yes, I heard” and then moved on.

What is your problem? Stop shouting at night when your neighbours want and expect peace and quiet. And this neighbour, who does favours for you, barely said anything. She just hmm’d along with the conversation the way we all do when we don’t really want to be involved.

Oh gosh maybe you’re my old neighbour. It was indeed super annoying.

It would annoy me too having a neighbour shouting for her cat/s every night

Neighbour one wasn't being two faced. She didn't say you were annoying her. But she was acknowledging it was loud. Either because it is or just to be polite and try and move the convo on.

She didn't say anything against you. It wouldn't be her place to start arguing your corner and justifying a noise that was clearly genuinely disturbing to neighbour 2.

1 might have been too polite to tell you it also annoyed her.?

Maybe you need to try not to be so noisy if neighbour 2 is being disturbed.

But at the end of the day if she was that bothered she'd talk to your face about it. So probably just forget it.

They should say it to your face if they want you to change your behaviour.
Carry on with your life, ignore them, and rise above it. It says more about them, gossiping about people, than it does you.

They weren't really complaining about you personally, it was more of a neighbour related complaint. I think you could take this on board a bit. Honestly, it might be upsetting now but I think it's better than them knocking on your door and complaining. If you really do want a face to face you could bring it up casually next time. Say one of the other neighbours mentioned you were loud calling your cat and do they find this to be true and is it annoying them.

Very English. Refuse to face a problem head on so complain out of earshot, or not as in this case.

Id have said a lot more than her if you were waking me up shouting bloody cats.Selfish.

Can you not get a cat flap OP? Especially if you have several cats. It would be much easier for you quite frankly. I have a cat and the cat flap is a godsend.

I didn't think cats responded to getting called in?

You can't just shout loudly at night when you have nearby neighbours! YABVU!

What you mean by late evening? There's a difference between 9pm (annoying) and 11pm (antisocial).

So you're annoyed and upset at your neighbours' behaviour? But not bothered about your behaviour as they experience it?

If you don't like it, change your behaviour first, then their behaviour will change and nobody is upset/annoyed. Win win all round.

You need To bring them in earlier. I've got four cats so I know it's possible. They're in by 5ish. I would never call out for them at night and disturb people. Especially in this heat everyone has their windows open. You might be waking up peoples kids too. Totally selfish. If mine haven't come home by late I walk around street very quietly and gently rattle a cup with a few kibbles in.

Your neighbours are being bitchy . I'm sure calling for your cats isn't as bad as the loud music .

I hope they feel embarrassed that you heard them .

They shouldn't have to say it 'to her face'. May people feel awkward and don't like confrontation.

It should be obvious you do not stand at your backdoor shouting cats names over and over again .

They definitely do. I have an adventurer and he will come as soon as I call him (out on the back street, not near windows or from the door!).

And they don't feel awkward to gossip behind her back and make her feel shitty? Nah that's ridiculous behaviour. These are adult women, if their neighbour is disturbing them they need to have a conversation with her.

I call my cat in at about 8pm every night. Just once and if he doesn't come in he can stay out till the morning.

I couldn't give a rats arse what my neighbours think as one side has barking dogs and the other side has a security light angled into my bedroom that rivals the brightness of Sol so they can strip wire and yell at each other into the early hours. Yes I have reported it, waiting for the council to do something.

Multiple, loud shouts late at night would be annoying.

Sounds like you are a pain in the arse shouting your cats late and waking people up. You’re pissing your neighbours off, so stop. Leave your cats out if they want. Or get a cat flap.

What I want to know is what instructions have been given to the neighbour who will look after the cats?! Won’t she have to call for them in your place? The other neighbour is going to hate her too by the end of the holiday!

I would be so annoyed as well tbh. Every night with the yelling? Nope.

In fairness, OP is also an adult woman and should have the awareness to know that standing at the door and yelling for your cats every night is not acceptable behaviour (unless you live in the middle of nowhere).

Yes, this.

But she obviously didnt. If i was doing something obnoxious I'd hope someone would tell me.