My “comeback” was equal levels rude?

[Rebes]

I am from a Mediterranean culture that can be highly misogynistic and a bit old fashioned especially in regards to women. I was talking to my partner’s aunt at a gathering (same background) when the aunt asked me my age. I knew she was trying to figure out if I’m passed it. I thought it was incredibly rude. And frankly I was just very over being judged for being 32 and unmarried. Have focused on career and travelling. So in response I asked what her bmi was. She’s overweight but nothing extreme.

Anyway, I got a phone call from boyfriend’s cousin who had a massive go at me. And I’m now not allowed to step foot in the Aunts house. Which is where everyone gathers. Bf obviously isn’t pleased.

NO ONE in bf’s family (his parents and siblings) thinks what I did was right. My mum said it was totally fair to highlight the Aunt’s rudeness. Sick to death of people judging me.

I normally bite my lip. I know it was nasty. I don’t know why she’s the only one who has a right to be offended and garner all the sympathy.

I was not correcting anyone’s English.

It probably would have been better to say so thing like haha you trying to figure out if I'm past my best before and just made it clear that you know what she what she was fishing for rather than jump right in there and call her fat. It's done now though so if you regret it just apologise and say that you regret it.

You are, you just agreed with a spag pedant.

Citation? They may address her as “Madonna” in prayer but when referred to in the third person in Catholic writings the word Madonna takes the definite article, same as “the Blessed Virgin” etc.

Yes, they do address her as Madonna, so it's perfectly fine for that person to say 'Madonna' too, without your pedantry.

Acceptable response: none of your business
Unacceptable response: what’s your BMI?

HTH

There were plenty of other ways to shut her down.

Sorry, but you were rude and now look worse than she does.

What was the context of the conversation when she asked how old you were?

(32 is nothing so I'm not sure why you felt defensive. It's still very young.)

You're the one on here sounding like a pompous weirdo who has absolutely no respect for anyone who doesn't see life from your perspective. In 2026. In the UK even!!! Grow up.

Look, I was just making a lighthearted joke about the distinction between the singer Madonna and the Madonna concept in the phrase “a Madonna or a whore”.

”The Madonna” is absolutely standard Catholic usage though.

Fwiw, I initially wrote the Madonna but it autocorrected to something else. When I went to delete the error, it also deleted "the". I saw it but thought fuck it because nobody will be stupid enough to pick that apart rather than focus on the actual argument they wanted to be a part of.

I don’t know because I get asked my age sometimes. I’ve never felt it rude or anything like that. Sometimes it’s comparing where we’re at in life e.g marriage, having children and peri/menopause and we discuss our experiences. Sometimes they ask for my advice if they’re new to that stage and I’m always happy to pass on information that helped me. However to ask someone’s bmi/weight is really really rude! I’m not surprised that she no longer wants you in her house. It was too far.

I was not correcting anyone’s English. I was pointing out how worrying it was that so many people seem to be unaware of, or unable to use, what is a perfectly well-known and understood turn of phrase. That’s not correcting a person’s language or vocabulary skills, it’s questioning their educational and culturally-specific contextual knowledge.

And this will be my last reply to you, because this is just derailing the thread.

So, you decided to fight misogynist attitudes by having a dig about another woman's weight?

Yes. That was rude. You could have refused to say, or asked why she needed to know.

You agreed with a poster who indulged in spag pedantry by indulging your own perceived superiority about your knowledge of 'cultural-specific contextual knowledge. How is that any better?

Then you should have spoken up when she said that.

Instead, You assumed a lot in your conversation with her. Asking someone’s age is a normal part of a conversation, asking their BMI is rude.

You should have waited until you actually were insulted to clap back if you wanted any high ground. Instead his aunt has appeared to simply made conversation and you’ve been nasty about her weight.

You have to wait for someone to hit you before you hit back or else you become the attacker

She deserved it
Matching energy
Boyfriend s cousin needs to keep snout out

I didn’t “indulge in spag pedantry” I made a joke about Madonna (Ciccone) FFS!

This is what the spag pedants don't realise, that people can make typos and shouldn't be shamed for them.

IT WAS A JOKE ABOUT MADONNA.

JESUS.

(Obvs not “the Jesus” of course..)

Is that why you asked me for a citation?

Ha! Brilliant comeback. I admire you for it.

Don't back down from it.

And also you are definitely not 'past it'!

Tried but failed I’m guessing…

Honestly, why didn’t you just say “my age is my business” without having to resort to a similar, if not increased level of rude?

My aunt has never married. When anyone asks why she says "Just lucky I guess!"