AIBU to think if we need to politely ask men not to rape women (or men), then we don't want such people in the UK? PART 2

[CoventryCity]

'Don't rape, sexually assault or make kissing noises' at people, asylum seekers warned in guidance about living in UK

UK arrivals have been told to treat women equally, not sexually assault partners or have sex with children in a new Home Office pamphlet. As well as the guidebook, a series of posters have also been designed by the government.'

https://news.sky.com/story/asylum-seekers-warned-not-to-make-kissing-sounds-at-people-in-new-guidance-about-living-in-uk-13574744

Previous thread here:
https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/5568695-aibu-to-think-if-we-need-to-politely-ask-men-not-to-rape-women-or-men-then-we-dont-want-such-people-in-the-uk?page=40&reply=154338993&utm_campaign=thread&utm_medium=share

Statistics back me up. It’s not just my experience. It’s the literal world’s.

I do think the UK is great, that's why I came here. I'd like it to stay that way.

I won't even describe some of the things that I know of that happened to women and girls where I come from.

Nowhere is perfect for women and girls, Nowhere is free of sex crime... but the UK and Europe are about as good as it gets, and I'd like it to be even better, not going backwards by letting in the wrong men.

These men come from a nation where they are even worse and even more disgusting, mysoginstic and rapey.

It is not the norm. I am a social worker. They don’t get labelled mad. That’s completely untrue.

You struggle to understand statistics, cultures, basic safeguarding and risk assessments. We live in a culture that isn’t perfect, but is so much more progressive than many other countries. I’ve worked with young women who have had FGM. You really are showing yourself up.

It’s not bizarre. If your lovely hubby would challenge it and fight for women, fab. But I bet he wouldn’t. He’d accept it and benefit from it and he would be the same

Please share your statistics that 9 out of 10 Brirish men are abusers. Not anecdotes, actual numbers from a credible source.

Yes, because the people are angry at the Government making these leaflets but no one batters an eye lid as to what happens to the poor communities where everyone is housed but now, as the situation becomes wildly unbelievable - they are getting ready to take more and more in and spread them all around the whole country, seems people will be taking it seriously.....

It is the norm and social workers are known for being box ticking, pathologising abuse victims etc. I completely understand safeguarding that’s why I don’t trust men. If you genuinely do this job and believe this I worry you contribute. Most social workers I know are on their knees, know the system is broken and want to quit!!

Why is that the lovely men from Afghanistan who come here don’t fight for their women then?

Lets state the obvious:
violent crime is by far committed by men

some cultures have a greater misogyny and this reflects in increased violent crimes towards females

the small boats problem is by far men.
Large numbers of these men come from countries of misogynistic cultures,
this brings an increased risk of violent crime towards women

hence the leaflets

now to state the maybe not so obvious ..

I think part of the rationale for burnham planning to distribute these males into middle class areas, is to make it more a middle class problem -

currently these men are placed in deprived areas,

middle class liberals more likely to be vocal about we must welcome them, their human rights are valid etc … and the cost / impact of living amongst these people is not felt

if the middle class start to feel the cost and impact in their communities maybe they will stop getting in the way of policies that may actually stem the problem??

Good luck with that!

https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC4484276/

https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/08862605261432630

sexual coercion is more common than you think

Finally we are able to share our worries as women... I am foreign and not even having a British passport to vote. But I have daughters who are automatically British and wonder what kind of world I am going to leave them into......

Honestly PP, I think your profession/job is affecting you in such a negative way which is why you are so blinkered about this situation

You make no sense at all. Believe what? That this country is more progressive than the likes of Afghanistan? Deary me. Also, yes, we have big caseloads and it’s stressful. Doesn’t mean we pathologise victims of abuse. And you really don’t understand risk assessments by the way 🤦‍♀️.

Neither of those say 9/10 men are abusers, and they are US based anyway.

Do you have the study to hand that says 9/10 Britain men abuse women?

An elderly man was literally murdered by two teenagers in Leicestershire in 2024. Does that mean all teenagers should be banned from Leicestershire? You get bad people from all backgrounds and walks of life. You won’t suddenly have zero rapes and murders by stopping immigration.

So men are more likely to start to abuse women in countries like Afghanistan and Sudan? Yes, that's the point. Not that Britain is great as regards VAWG but that those countries are worse, because of historical and cultural reasons. That's why we don't want them coming here.

It might be the other way round as well.

Bizarre.

And bitter.

No, just less. More prison spaces for our own scum.

For example, I can’t share real cases but this is common.
mum discloses psychological distress and social workers call this a risk, worry she is unstable: mum stops speaking and doesn’t get the help she needs because she’s scared of losing her kids.
all dv victims know not to say too much to social services because it will be used against them by the abuser to say she’s insane: it is so common when it goes to court too:

Are you a man by any chance?!

Massively misses the point

In all honesty, you really should not be doing the job you claim
to be going.

You are not impartial and the way you are going is really dangerous for your clients.

Yes, I’m a man.

Hahah you’re definitely a man if you think believing women is dangerous 🙄😂