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AIBU?

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AIBU to think if we need to politely ask men not to rape women (or men), then we don't want such people in the UK? PART 2

683 replies

CoventryCity · 24/08/2026 11:09

'Don't rape, sexually assault or make kissing noises' at people, asylum seekers warned in guidance about living in UK

UK arrivals have been told to treat women equally, not sexually assault partners or have sex with children in a new Home Office pamphlet. As well as the guidebook, a series of posters have also been designed by the government.'

https://news.sky.com/story/asylum-seekers-warned-not-to-make-kissing-sounds-at-people-in-new-guidance-about-living-in-uk-13574744

Previous thread here:
https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/5568695-aibu-to-think-if-we-need-to-politely-ask-men-not-to-rape-women-or-men-then-we-dont-want-such-people-in-the-uk?page=40&reply=154338993&utm_campaign=thread&utm_medium=share

Page 40 | AIBU to think if we need to politely ask men not to rape women (or men), then we don't want such people in the UK? | Mumsnet

Don't rape, sexually assault or make kissing noises' at people, asylum seekers warned in guidance about living in UK UK arrivals have been told to tre...

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/5568695-aibu-to-think-if-we-need-to-politely-ask-men-not-to-rape-women-or-men-then-we-dont-want-such-people-in-the-uk?page=40&reply=154338993

OP posts:
Thread gallery
19
somethigelse2 · 24/08/2026 22:38

BubbleAndLeek · 24/08/2026 22:34

But as a % less. Vastly less.

I saw a survey in the western world that said 9/10 men admitted to using sexually coercive behaviour against a partner.
it’s all of them. Some countries are just politer about it than others

JuliaBraverman · 24/08/2026 22:39

NancyThompson · 24/08/2026 22:26

I'm also an immigrant. I got a work permit as I had an in-demand skill. I like to think that my presence makes a positive contribution to the UK.

The problem in Europe is not migration…. When it is handled properly and is law abiding. It’s undocumented migrants and those claiming asylum who have passed through many safe countries. You are welcome here.

BubbleAndLeek · 24/08/2026 22:43

somethigelse2 · 24/08/2026 22:38

I saw a survey in the western world that said 9/10 men admitted to using sexually coercive behaviour against a partner.
it’s all of them. Some countries are just politer about it than others

That's one survey. I'm not scared of my husband.

In other countries there are armed militias who do gang rape.

JuliaBraverman · 24/08/2026 22:43

Why do so many left leaning educated women excuse the behaviour of men if they come from different countries yet are happy to blame white men for any problem they see?

EasternStandard · 24/08/2026 22:44

somethigelse2 · 24/08/2026 22:38

I saw a survey in the western world that said 9/10 men admitted to using sexually coercive behaviour against a partner.
it’s all of them. Some countries are just politer about it than others

Do you see all countries as pretty much the same? So Iran, Sudan, Afghanistan same as the U.K.?

somethigelse2 · 24/08/2026 22:44

BubbleAndLeek · 24/08/2026 22:43

That's one survey. I'm not scared of my husband.

In other countries there are armed militias who do gang rape.

Well statistically speaking he’s more likely to sa or harm you than any of these other men….

TaleOfTwoHalves · 24/08/2026 22:45

somethigelse2 · 24/08/2026 22:38

I saw a survey in the western world that said 9/10 men admitted to using sexually coercive behaviour against a partner.
it’s all of them. Some countries are just politer about it than others

That’s a remarkably convenient argument. Men everywhere do it, therefore we don’t need to examine whether different cultures, populations or circumstances produce different rates.

That isn’t an argument it’s a way of shutting down the conversation before the evidence can even be examined. And ‘some countries are just politer about it’ is particularly ridiculous — if you have no evidence for that, you’re simply inventing an explanation that makes your conclusion impossible to disprove.

What I find genuinely astounding is the lengths a lot of western women are prepared to go to in order to excuse or minimise concerns about unvetted men arriving in England, rather than simply accepting that safeguarding requires proper scrutiny of individuals, backgrounds and risks.

You can acknowledge that sexual coercion exists among Western men without pretending that every population, culture and social environment produces identical behaviours. Two things can be true at once. That’s called nuance — not racism, and not an excuse to stop asking legitimate safeguarding questions.

Honestly!!! I am astounded at this attitude amongst British women. I can only presume they’ve lived sheltered lives.

somethigelse2 · 24/08/2026 22:45

JuliaBraverman · 24/08/2026 22:43

Why do so many left leaning educated women excuse the behaviour of men if they come from different countries yet are happy to blame white men for any problem they see?

I hate all men, I’m a misandrist: give any man no accountability he will abuse a woman. Culture has nothing to do with it

JuliaBraverman · 24/08/2026 22:45

somethigelse2 · 24/08/2026 22:44

Well statistically speaking he’s more likely to sa or harm you than any of these other men….

FGS

BubbleAndLeek · 24/08/2026 22:45

somethigelse2 · 24/08/2026 22:44

Well statistically speaking he’s more likely to sa or harm you than any of these other men….

Statistically speaking the UK is a much safer place to be a woman than the nations these men come from. If these men came at me my DH would defend me.

somethigelse2 · 24/08/2026 22:46

EasternStandard · 24/08/2026 22:44

Do you see all countries as pretty much the same? So Iran, Sudan, Afghanistan same as the U.K.?

No I just think some countries hide it better. Less than 1% of rapes get prosecuted in the uk. It’s legal to rape as long as you don’t hurt her too bad. Why are we throwing stones from our glass house?

Lornarocks · 24/08/2026 22:47

I mean there’s been multi million pound campaigns telling uk men not to rape, so…

somethigelse2 · 24/08/2026 22:47

TaleOfTwoHalves · 24/08/2026 22:45

That’s a remarkably convenient argument. Men everywhere do it, therefore we don’t need to examine whether different cultures, populations or circumstances produce different rates.

That isn’t an argument it’s a way of shutting down the conversation before the evidence can even be examined. And ‘some countries are just politer about it’ is particularly ridiculous — if you have no evidence for that, you’re simply inventing an explanation that makes your conclusion impossible to disprove.

What I find genuinely astounding is the lengths a lot of western women are prepared to go to in order to excuse or minimise concerns about unvetted men arriving in England, rather than simply accepting that safeguarding requires proper scrutiny of individuals, backgrounds and risks.

You can acknowledge that sexual coercion exists among Western men without pretending that every population, culture and social environment produces identical behaviours. Two things can be true at once. That’s called nuance — not racism, and not an excuse to stop asking legitimate safeguarding questions.

Honestly!!! I am astounded at this attitude amongst British women. I can only presume they’ve lived sheltered lives.

I don’t want any men coming here: women and children yes. Men no thank you. But let’s not pretend ours are any better - they’re not!! They just have a bit more accountability

JuliaBraverman · 24/08/2026 22:48

somethigelse2 · 24/08/2026 22:46

No I just think some countries hide it better. Less than 1% of rapes get prosecuted in the uk. It’s legal to rape as long as you don’t hurt her too bad. Why are we throwing stones from our glass house?

Apologists like you are hard to stomach at the moment.

somethigelse2 · 24/08/2026 22:49

JuliaBraverman · 24/08/2026 22:48

Apologists like you are hard to stomach at the moment.

Hahaha what am I apologising for? I said all men are terrible, culture has fuck all to do with it

TaleOfTwoHalves · 24/08/2026 22:50

somethigelse2 · 24/08/2026 22:47

I don’t want any men coming here: women and children yes. Men no thank you. But let’s not pretend ours are any better - they’re not!! They just have a bit more accountability

Reducing your entire argument to all men are bad, does not protect women and children. If we have enough of our own wronguns it’s fucking stupid to start importing more.

Particularly ones who’ve faced no accountability for their awful sexual crimes in their own country.

BubbleAndLeek · 24/08/2026 22:51

somethigelse2 · 24/08/2026 22:49

Hahaha what am I apologising for? I said all men are terrible, culture has fuck all to do with it

Where would you rather spend a day ...... Edinburgh or Khartoum?

EasternStandard · 24/08/2026 22:51

somethigelse2 · 24/08/2026 22:46

No I just think some countries hide it better. Less than 1% of rapes get prosecuted in the uk. It’s legal to rape as long as you don’t hurt her too bad. Why are we throwing stones from our glass house?

Ok you really think life is as easy for women and girls in Afghanistan, Sudan and Iran?

Could you swap places and be happy with that

5MinuteArgument · 24/08/2026 22:51

JuliaBraverman · 24/08/2026 22:25

If we have to teach such basic values, I really fear for the West. And I’m thinking of Iran when I say that

Yes, if these men need tuition in such basic things then they cannot be allowed to remain here. A previous poster mentioned that they don't even know about washing their hands after going to the toilet. Oh Dear.

BubbleAndLeek · 24/08/2026 22:52

somethigelse2 · 24/08/2026 22:49

Hahaha what am I apologising for? I said all men are terrible, culture has fuck all to do with it

So even the ones of the boats? Best keep them away

somethigelse2 · 24/08/2026 22:52

TaleOfTwoHalves · 24/08/2026 22:50

Reducing your entire argument to all men are bad, does not protect women and children. If we have enough of our own wronguns it’s fucking stupid to start importing more.

Particularly ones who’ve faced no accountability for their awful sexual crimes in their own country.

Idk if we all collectively agree and stop with the whole not all men bollocks, start believing women without needing 50 witnesses and a tape recording and refusing to have anything to do with them…. We might get somewhere no?

somethigelse2 · 24/08/2026 22:53

EasternStandard · 24/08/2026 22:51

Ok you really think life is as easy for women and girls in Afghanistan, Sudan and Iran?

Could you swap places and be happy with that

Why are you putting words in my mouth? I said all men are awful. I didn’t say we have it worse?!

NancyThompson · 24/08/2026 22:54

TaleOfTwoHalves · 24/08/2026 22:32

@NancyThompson

did you arrive by dinghy? FUCK MY LIFE!!!!!

It would have been a lot cheaper 😂

TaleOfTwoHalves · 24/08/2026 22:54

somethigelse2 · 24/08/2026 22:53

Why are you putting words in my mouth? I said all men are awful. I didn’t say we have it worse?!

So you admit that we have it better, but then you’re okay with Afghan men coming over in their thousands …… ok make it make sense!

JuliaBraverman · 24/08/2026 22:54

somethigelse2 · 24/08/2026 22:49

Hahaha what am I apologising for? I said all men are terrible, culture has fuck all to do with it

Surely you must accept that these cultures produce men with no respect or regard for women/girls though.