AIBU to change schools over my husband helping a neighbour?

[Schoolchanging]

Dh had always done school drop off and pick up due to my work hours and over the last 18 months I’d got increasingly irritated by him walking with or giving a lift to a neighbour whose child goes to the same school.

So I decided we would change dc to a different school a little further away and they are due to start there in a couple of weeks.

I didn’t want to spend time on discussions and boundaries and wanted to just eliminate the stress on our relationship. I told him I wasn’t comfortable that I’d asked him to stop and as he wasn’t I was changing schools to which he said ‘fine that’s your choice’. Dc are ok about it as we know people who go to the new school as well.

Neighbour has just spoken to us as we were leaving at the same time and she said to dh ‘back to the usual routine soon then!’ And I said ‘actually no, dc are going to be at a different school so all change for us !’ To which she turned to dh and said ‘why haven’t you told me this already?’ Which I found odd.

Sorry you moved your children to a different school because you don’t trust your husband? That’s madness, you need to address the main issue rather than it affecting your children .

Ypu need help op ! You are a massive 🚩🚩🚩🚩

Wow. I hope this isn’t real. I’d split up with you if I was your DH. You actions are scary

I dont think you are being unreasonable as such. This person is an issue and you are taking the scenario away. Your husband is being a limp lettuce though. If you have an issue with her, he should be able to address it and have respectful boundaries which, he has not. He has not put this woman in her lane.

The new school sounds better for you all anyway but if he oversteps in the future. What next? Sometimes it is just about that one person

This is utter rubbish.

Men who are not able to talk to women tend to either be incels who can’t relate to the opposite sex or men with very rigid, faith-based morality who think any interaction with a woman other than your wife is a slippery slope to sex.

Neither is healthy.

Men who are able to talk to women without imagining themselves are more likely to think of women as human beings as opposed to sex objects.

You sound like a bitch.

Why the hell should he not talk to her, or walk to school with her, when they are just friends, just because the OP demands it?

If it were a man telling a woman who she could, or could not, walk to school with, there would be uproar on here and he would be called controlling. And if then then switched the children's schools because of it the woman would be told to get her ducks in a row and leave the abusive bastard.

No-one says he has to disregard her feelings but why does she get to tell him who he can, and cannot, talk to? Especially when, she admits herself, that there is no real reason for her to suspect any wrongdoing from either party.

MN is mental about men and women having friendships, or their partners daring to find another woman pleasant company.

OP claims to trust her partner so this, to me, is massively overreacting to something about nothing.

Changing a child’s school is a massive upheaval and should only be considered if there is a genuine need. I cannot believe you’d move your child to a new school purely to avoid a difficult conversation.

No it's even more batshit than that. She trusts her husband but not this woman....no me neither.

Op you win. You are clearly even more nuts that "snapped and farted"

If this doesn't make classics it's an absolute shame.

So you have taken your kids away from their school friends because you dont trust your husband? Drip feed that he has cheated previously? Either way YABVU

"I didn't want the stress that my imagination was causing me, so I gave my kids a load of stress instead"

I mean, it's a bold look.

If true.

They travel to school together...where is the issue, other than the ops weird jealous reaction. If your partner said I don't want you to talk to our neighbour I am sure you wouldn't be happy. Do read the other replies here and have a quick think.

I repeat the husband, who is doing the school runs, goes with the neighbour as the kids go to the same school. Well they did; bat shit op has changed the school. What is wrong with the scenario?

I'm not surprised she blanks you!

I fell like most of the tone of the posts on this thread are going over your head OP!

If my husband did this to my kids because I walked to school with a neighbour then I'd leave him, as clearly he doesn't trust me.
Your poor kids, do you not realise what a huge upheaval it is for them to move school? Just because of your jealousy?

I'd imagine the neighbours unfriendliness towards OP precedes OP's reaction and request that Dh create distance from the neighbour.

If I came across a womsn who blanked me but was friendly to my husband, too right I'd expect him not to do the school run with her and to put my feelings first.

MN likes to froth about how it's perfectly okay to have friends of the opposite sex and any discomfort from one's spouse is a red flag, but sometimes these friendships are not okay. Sometimes you can tell - intuition is a real thing , a warning sign that something isn't right even if you cannot pinpoint to exact cause.
OP's husband should have respected her pov on this - I would if my dh became concerned about an individual man I was friendly with, but was otherwise okay with my other friends. I like to think I'd care more about his discomfort than the principle of being able to do the school run with whoever I wanted!

The husband sounds like a total wet wipe

Wow. I was friends with a school dad who was husband of my best friend but because we all worked different hours we usually shared school run, walk and occasional lifts. There was just no issue and I can't imagine a school move over this.

You changed schools because of a feeling something was up? In other words you don't trust your DH. Poor kid!!

Not really the same thing though @LilyBunch25
Probably the husband could have walked with any number of people with no issue, but this particular woman gives OP an uncomfortable vibe and her h is not willing to change what he's doing. So OP has, in her own way, 'fixed' the problem. She's tried to take him out of the woman's range.
Except that the real problem is the relationship with her husband, who ignores her discomfort. And she's taken an extreme course of action that may not be the best for her dc - time will tell.

Fully appreciate what you're saying, as you say the main issue is the relationship with the husband- so I'd be addressing that, not moving the child.

Right! I've never seen such madness; and I've seen some whoppers here 🤦🏾‍♀️.

rage bait

Changing schools is a big deal to children, obviously it can't always be avoided but this seems OTT in the extreme.

OP also seems to be missing the point that this woman still lives next door to them, there could well be multiple opportunities for her husband to speak to her ..😱

Op, you drip fed that you now want to start doing the school run as you're missing out. So what then was the need to change schools? You could have kept them in the same school and you deal with the neighbour. If she's truly being a pain, you then get to tell her to get lost.

Highly suspect though that she isn't the problem. You've said you have no idea why you don't like her.