How much do you spend on work clothes?

[TheJuryIsOut]

I'm starting a new job in a school in September so need some smart casual clothes. I'm basically starting from scratch as I've been a SAHM for several years and live in leggings/baggy sweatshirts.

So I'll need a variety of tops, jumpers, trousers, maybe a couple of dresses, tights, at least one pair of comfy shoes maybe two. I also need some new basics like underwear and socks.

If it's relevant DH works offshore and earns around £110k, we have 4 kids.

He seems to really be begrudging me buying new clothes and is wanting me to spend as little as possible.

What would be a reasonable budget for this? I'm not wanting designer stuff, just things from the high street.

It’s not about a reasonable budget, it’s about a husband who begrudges you spending money on things you need. That’s the issue you need to sort.

You can buy things as cheaply as you can find, but a mean man can’t be fixed.

I think you need to convince your husband this is an investment in your career, not indulgent spending. Also, as a teacher, your requirements are quite niche - you need comfort and movement at the same time as needing to look professional. So, some decent shirts with collars, jumpers, work trousers, formal but low heel shoes and boots. I’d avoid dresses as they prevent you bending over to help children/teenagers.

Just as a reference point, I spend around £500 every year for a work wardrobe refresh. Not in education, but a similar requirement for modest, comfortable yet professional attire.

How on earth does a normal midi dress prevent you bending over? 😮

@TheJuryIsOut - as I am not married to your husband I have been able to spend exactly as much as I want on my working wardrobe.

I feel sad for you.

Does he also begrudge you earning money?

Professional clothes are a necessary cost, like commuting costs. If he wants the extra household income he must surely see that you need to pay for this in advance first.

I hope you enjoy the new job.

By the way, there is a Style and Beauty board on MN. Assuming you have access to money you may find it helpful to browse.

If you don’t have access to money other than by asking and waiting for approval of each request - well, that’s a whole other problem.

Do you have access to family money or do you have to request it off your husband every time? That's not a good situation.

To answer your question (im a teacher as well) - don't buy your whole wardrobe at once. Buy about 3 outfits and one pair of shoes and see how they work. You might find (say) it is hotter at school than you expect, or you're on your feet more than you realised.

If budget is actually tight, as I imagine it might be even on £110k as you have 4 kids:

1 pair of comfortable flat shoes - £80 to £100
Two or three of M+S jersey stretch trousers, really recommend - £25 each i believe
A few tops from vinted - £10 each
A couple of nice blazer-shaped cardigans - £40 each or £10 on vinted

I think you can get started with about £300 but you'll have to add warm jumpers in a couple of months and some warm boots. So another £200 in late September.

Edit to add - you don't need a smart wool coat. A practical warm raincoat like you've been using as a sahm is fine

Vinted!! Absolutely love vinted and get the vast majority of my work clothes there (smart dresses, tailored trousers, blouses etc - LK Bennett, J Conran, Next Next Next, Oasis) for about £10-£15 per item.

As to your husband's attitude - only you know the ins and outs of the finances, but on the limited info provided he is being an ass.

Agree that the issue is your DH objecting to you spending money on yourself that's the issue here. How much other people with different needs, budgets and priorities spend isn't helpful.

Even if you were in crippling debt, it would be reasonable to spend at least a couple of hundred pounds getting yourself set up (figure plucked out of the air, it could be more). You might get lucky on Vinted but obviously it can't be relied upon but M&S is good for plain black trousers, knitwear, dresses and tops.

Presumably you working again mrans the household disposable income will increase so you can afford to spend more as a family as well as saving more, or paying off debt, depending on priorities?

How would it go if you told him 'you need some decent new clothes for your new job so are going to enjoy buying them'? Would he realise he's being an arse or is this indicative of worse controlling or abusive behaviour?

He seems to really be begrudging me buying new clothes and is wanting me to spend as little as possible.

It sounds like this is a man who doesn’t value you so it’s probably good you’re going to gain some financial independence!
There’s no amount that anyone “should” spend on work clothes. If you haven’t been in work and dress very casually normally then you’re obviously starting from scratch.

Sainsburys TU range is good and reasonably priced.

Skechers have started doing footwear that look like proper shoes so I’d start there. If you’re in a school
you'll be on your feet a lot so need to be comfy. I got a pair recently with a strap across that I think was £50. As someone else said M&S do jersey trousers that are brilliant for working in schools and you could probably get a couple of patterned t shirts from there too. I like jersey dresses for school as they’re soft and comfy and easy to move in. Depending on the age group you’re working with you may need a new outfit everyday (I’m early years and wouldn’t wear anything again without washing as I get covered in all sorts!) So 5 outfits would be ideal unless you know you’ll have time to wash and dry during the week to rewear.
So I’d start with 5 complete outfits and then once you get your first pay packet add a few more bits for variety. Can you make underwear last until you get paid then buy new?
PS DH sounds like an arse!!

I’m another vinted addict here. I dress in Reiss, Nobody’s Child, Mint Velvet. I spent about £600 last year, for both work and home, but that’s replaced my entire wardrobe as I’ve also been on Mounjaro. I’ll often be wearing Reiss dress, Dune boots, agent provocateur undies, and my outfits rarely cost more than £40 top to toe.

I’d probably buy new if my husband was on a six figure salary rather than a caretaker at Aldi, though!

Has he always been financially controlling?

This is truly the dream, no?

Marry a well paid man. Who is rarely at home. So you will bring up four children mostly by yourself.

Your reward?

A supermarket wardrobe.

(And the realisation that your years and years of domestic slog mean absolutely nothing to the prince you married.)

If you're working in a school, you need to be comfortable too. Please don't spend loads on clothes - they always get covered in paint etc if you'll be in primary 😊

To be clear, I’m well aware that supermarkets do an excellent job of providing fashionable clothes at accessible price points. But that can’t be what the OP dreamed of on her wedding day, or when she was sitting up at night with each of her four children.

I am a secondary teacher and I would say £300 to get started with a basic, inexpensive working wardrobe.

Recently, I have bought some stretch trousers from Halara. They have been brilliant, one black, one navy blue and a checked woollen pair got me through winter with a few tops and a shirt. I like knitted sleeveless jumpers over tops too when it’s really cold. A skirt and a dress.

Next and M&S are probably best, I would probably also look in the clearance section of both, especially Next

I do have access to money, he sends me a set amount each money which pays for some bills that are in my name, mine and the kids phone bills, the kids extra curricular activities, food & petrol for when he's away with work. I don't much (if any) left after that so I do have to ask him if I want to buy anything else.

Thank you that is really helpful, I hadn't even considered vinted, I'll take a look.

To be honest I've never bought clothes in more expensive shops that supermarkets or Primark or whatever. New Look is me pushing the boat out.

We've basically had this exact conversation and he just said "don't you have stuff in the wardrobe you could wear?" I'm sure he knows I don't because even before being a SAHM I was a cleaner so I've never really had any smart casual clothes.

Do you think he is? He likes to save and not spend so I think he just shudders at the thought of a big outlay like this

That’s not having no access to money.

I get my work clothes from Vinted so tend to spend about a tenner on them.
However your dh sounds horrible.