To be upset about meat being cooked in my house

[Meetmeinlove]

For context, I am 53 and a lifelong vegetarian. I have never cooked meat or eaten meat.

I was always clear with my kids that if they wanted to eat meat, it was their choice but it had to be out of the house. Put simply, I don’t want it in my house.

They both eat meat and I am ok with that.

But I came home and they have cooked it- used my wooden chopping board to cut it up. Left remnants on the worksurface.

i’m bloody upset and it feels so disrespectful frankly. It’s a real problem for me- I don’t want meat in my house- I have always been really clear about it.

aibu to be so upset about it? It’s a real problem for me.

I take your point on residual toxic chemicals in soft furnishings.

YOU think the lingering smell of bacon isn't strong. I can tell you that even as a meat eater it's strong to me. (I am a super-taster and super-smeller.)

I can easily imagine it being vomit inducing to a lifetime vegetarian.

It’s your house rule that they are fully aware of so they should have respected that rule…
If they can and do eat meat outside of the home then I think it’s unfair of them to break the household rule of no meat in the house because you haven’t said you don’t ever want them to not eat it, you just don’t want them bringing it into the house.
Its no different really to other household rules like no shoes in the house, no eating upstairs etc
They ignored the rule, didn’t clear up the mess and have been pretty unapologetic about it. I would expect better from your older one tbh and probably more annoyed with them.
We eat meat in our household but I cook a lot of vegetarian dishes and actually prefer them to meat dishes.

It's their home too.

Are you always this dramatic?

All teenagers will rebel and break the rules at some point, especially if the rules are unreasonable.
The OP isn’t bothering to think about what her children are trying to communicate, she’s just thinking about her own wishes and preferences. I doubt they will have a very close relationship with her once they’re grown up.

Exactly.
I am quite surprised that a vegetarian hasn't showed their kids how to follow a meat-free diet.
None of my kids were brought up to eat meat and my veggie friends are the same.

“Could she have some wafer thin ham Barbara?” 🤣
TBF ham from a packer smells vile, I forgot that’s on my list with chicken nuggets and hotdogs.

Read the original thread properly. Then comment. They DO eat meat. 🤦🏼‍♀️🙄

Yes exactly.

I have a strong aversion to most flavoured crisps. They stink in my opinion and the residual dust on your hands I think is vile. I still add them to the shop for DH and he eats them in another room and washes his hands afterwards.

I'm a non-smoker and I can tell you smoke lingers and adheres to fabrics etc. 🤢

Oh @Meetmeinlove posting as. Veggie here will only get you slated. Don’t you know it’s child abuse 😅
I get you in a way people who aren’t vegetarian largely won’t, because they think it is a fad diet rather than (for many) a lifelong commitment and part of their ethical framework

I’m sorry but I’m uncomfortable with not allowing children eat meat in their own home - if they are old enough to preparing and clean up.

I could understand if they were younger and you had to do the prep and cooking.

You need separate chopping boards etc. I buy green ones
You do know that in restaurants vegetarian food will be cooked in the steel pans that may have contained meat? Very hot dishwashers though.
I was a vegetarian for 23 years and my mother used different utensils. It was one of her few kindnesses.
Fwiw I eat meat but I hate the smell of it. I'm also squeamish. I'm a farmer's granddaughter.

She has. She has only, ever, had vegan or veggie food in the home. That's all the children knew. But. OP allowed them to make their own choices outside the home. I think that is good parenting.

No I said the opposite. That it IS strong. Strong but harmless. I’m actually a pescatarian so I totally get it as a non meat eater but I know logically it doesn’t actually affect me. As opposed to lingering cigarette smoking which is toxic and a health hazard to everyone. Also there’s no indication, unless I’ve missed it, that OP smelt anything when she got home?? She knew because they didn’t clean the board. So moot point anyway re smells.

I'm neither vegan, nor vegetarian, and I get it's about respect.
No one will die without meat. At least oP's kids haven't so far! 😀
We eat chicken and fish, eggs and dairy, red meat 2-3 times in a month ... maybe. I don't dislike it, just can take it or leave it.

YABVVVU.

You chose to have kids and now it’s no longer just Your Home but It’s THEIR home too.

You’re the adult and you need to find a solution that isn’t so ridiculously restrictive. Otherwise, when they’re adults and move out, they’ll probably want nothing more to do with you.

They’re not allowed meat in their own home? Don’t you consider it their home too? OK get the respect bit about cleaning up, but that’s all. YABU.

I understand you being upset, I'm not a vegetarian but I am very OCD and things not being done in the way I need makes me very irrationally upset. However, this is their home too. House rules is one thing but I think it should be absolutely ok for them to eat the food they want in their home. You're putting your personal beliefs over theirs which in my opinion isn't fair. If you don't want to see/smell it, compromise could be reached by buying a container for the fridge for any meat product to go in and buy separate chopping board/knives if necessary for preparation but be clear if you are comprising in this way they should respect how hard that is for you and ensure everything is cleaned up completely afterwards.

She literally did, but just because anyone was brought up vegetarian, doesn’t mean you can make your children stay vegetarian. It’s free called choice!

I can't be arsed to read the whole thread but it's a waste of time for anyone to try to engage with OP as she's convinced she's right. Pointless for her to even post here tbh. I'm a meat eater. My ex was vegetarian. Out compromise was no red meat which wasn't a big deal to me. It sounds like OP is unwilling to compromise in any way.

Your a veggie who lives with meat eaters.

Its unfair to say to them that they can't eat meat in their own home.

I say you're being unreasonable.

Your kids need to learn to tidy up properly so its not such an issue for you. But otherwise, I think your more of the problem than they are.

I wonder if OP would have got more support if she’d specified that she was vegetarian for religious reasons? I can’t imagine anyone saying it should be ok to take pork into a Jewish home, for example.

No, what im saying is, the 14 year old won't be moving out for quite a few years, is he never supposed to eat meat while in your home until he is old enough to find a place he can cook it himself?

Sure, he can learn to cook it himself but what you're imposing on him is never being able to eat it until he can move out, unless he treats himself to a meal out.

Well tough, you need to rethink this. Its all your house and it’s not smoking and drinking!