To be upset about meat being cooked in my house

[Meetmeinlove]

For context, I am 53 and a lifelong vegetarian. I have never cooked meat or eaten meat.

I was always clear with my kids that if they wanted to eat meat, it was their choice but it had to be out of the house. Put simply, I don’t want it in my house.

They both eat meat and I am ok with that.

But I came home and they have cooked it- used my wooden chopping board to cut it up. Left remnants on the worksurface.

i’m bloody upset and it feels so disrespectful frankly. It’s a real problem for me- I don’t want meat in my house- I have always been really clear about it.

aibu to be so upset about it? It’s a real problem for me.

I’ve been veggie for 60+ years. Same rule as OP - I don’t mind if people eat meat, I would tolerate if cooked meat was bought into my house, but I would not allow my cooking utensils to be used to cook it! Plus I hate the smell.
Can’t believe how many people have voted YABU. How many non-smokers would allow smoking in their home?

I grew up in a kosher household and was kosher until I was 13 and became a Bat Mitzvah and therefore a Jewish adult. I then had the choice and immediately stopped keeping kosher… out of the house. I however would never ever bring that food to my parents house - to this day and I’m 46. I eat what I want in my home and in the world but in their home they are in charge. So yes. I agree with you that’s it’s terribly disrespectful and really insanely rude - and quite lazy to not even clean up after themselves.

Completely agree and have been thinking about this a lot recently although my DC are only very little at the moment.

My own parents forbade everything - underage drinking before about 17, boyfriends sleeping over, all the usual teenage stuff. I did it anyway, I just lied to them and they didn’t know who I was properly. They’ve become a lot more accepting and tolerant of lots of things in the last 15 years or so but as a teenager they really were very strict.

By contrast, DH’s parents didn’t condone things but they didn’t forbid them either. It meant that they knew what he was up to and how to keep him safe. When they all went as teenagers to smoke weed in the woods and one of them had too much and passed out - he felt able to call his parents for help. No judgement, we were all young once.

Eating meat is not remotely comparable to smoking

I don't think it's a stretch to say that eating out is unhealthier than home cooked food. But you do you. It's obviously ok to eat out if you want to.

Well they’re telling you they’re bored of only eating vegetarian meals at home. It’s quite controlling. What do you do when you eat out? Do you only go to exclusively vegetarian restaurants so you’re not having to eat food that’s prepared in the same kitchen as meat?

Do them their own little food prep area with separate utensils to yours and a mini fridge if you feel that strongly about it. They obviously want to experiment with food for themselves. It’s their home as well as yours.

I get being upset by it but where else are they supposed to prepare it, in theory own home ?!

I am vegetarian as are rest of family but eldest started eating meat. Fine, but I don't allow it to be cooked in my house or stored in my fridge, although there has previously been a mince beef/blood incident on my worktop. It's disgusting and meat eaters will never understand so it's pointless asking their opinion. Your kids have not just been thoughtless but deliberately disrespectful of your feelings and that's why you're so upset, I was too. It didn't happen again! (today I ordered a vegetarian roast at a pub and was told the roast potatoes are cooked in meat fat, will that be OK? 😶)

It’s pretty normal for teenagers to test boundaries. I’m surprised it hasn’t happened earlier if they enjoy eating meat.
Perhaps it’s time to compromise otherwise they might be sneaking meat in and it’s probably better the devil you know.
On a much smaller scale I’ve refused to have frankfurters and chopped and shaped chicken in the house. My kids have never minded but I’d definitely try and find a compromise if they wanted to eat them at home.

I get it. Meat is totally disgusting and needs to be seen like preparing body parts. Would people like their pets chopped up on the worktop using their knives etc. And yes that is exactly how i see it. It is vile, before you mock.

Lots of people 'dictate' what their kids eat in their home though.

Smoking is a daft comparison. It kills you. Even passively. It would be illegal for the 14YO. The smell is beyond what the extractor fan can handle. OP may not like meat but the fact that the kids have had some in the house it isn’t going to harm her or them.

It doesn’t matter if they eat it outside, what if they suddenly crave something? Can’t they even make a ham sandwich? If they eat it outside, it probably means they feel for it at other times. You are being extremely controlling. They are probably rebelling if they didn’t bother to clean up

Very silly attitude. My sympathies go to the kids. I hope they can escape that unpleasant "home" environment asap.

Do they though? If an 18 year old wants to stash some cake/a beer/deli sandwich in the fridge then I don't think most parents would bat an eye. What type of food do you mean?

I think it is. To a non meat eater the smell of meat cooking can completely revolting.

The similarity to someone smoking in a room you aren't going to go into until they have stopped smoking is very strong.

Smoking causes cancer. So does eating red meat (WHO "probable") and processed meat (WHO "definite").

I think people are woefully obtuse. 💐

Wow. Just wow. So many things that could be said.

Yabu

Smoking can cause cancer for anyone who breathes in the smoke. Me smoking in your living room would be putting your health at risk. Me having a burger isn't going to give you cancer in any universe. It's completely different.

This!
OP even your replies are increasingly angry and insulting with the expletives. You asked for opinions and you don't agree so no idea why you asked.
When I first read the original post I was on your side thinking adult offspring had come in to your house and cooked, however seeing they are 14 and 18 I have no idea where you think they should cook for themselves as I assume they live in YOUR House.
I think they should have been more considerate in cleaning up and using other utensils but I don't think it is reasonable to expect them not to cook and eat food they want in their home. They are not asking you to cook or handle it but I think if you have allowed them to decide for themselves outside of the house then you have to accept they choice they have made may come into the house too.

I meant with younger kids there is lots of control over what they eat.

It is tricky. I understand why the OP doesn't want meat cooked in the house - it smells of cooking meat (even if you think it doesn't). I suspect if the kids had spoken to her and asked then a compromise might have been reached. As it is they trampled over what she was comfortable with.

Is it not their house too?

This

Yes, that's why I specifically stated going into a room after the snooker had stopped.

I should have made it clear that my second comment was related to whether the OP would be any happier watching her kids smoke in her home than eating meat in her home.

But it’s their home too.

Maybe you need to compromise and get them separate utensils, chopping boards and pans to use.

I think you are so unreasonable. They need to get it all cleaned up though, it’s not fair for them to leave it a mess.