To be upset about meat being cooked in my house

[Meetmeinlove]

For context, I am 53 and a lifelong vegetarian. I have never cooked meat or eaten meat.

I was always clear with my kids that if they wanted to eat meat, it was their choice but it had to be out of the house. Put simply, I don’t want it in my house.

They both eat meat and I am ok with that.

But I came home and they have cooked it- used my wooden chopping board to cut it up. Left remnants on the worksurface.

i’m bloody upset and it feels so disrespectful frankly. It’s a real problem for me- I don’t want meat in my house- I have always been really clear about it.

aibu to be so upset about it? It’s a real problem for me.

They need to clean up counters and buy. You a new chopping board because you won't use that one again now. Tell them OP. They are old enough to know your house your rules.

I understand you being cross they have left it for you to clear up but you are being very dictatorial. Yabvu not allowing your children to eat meat in their own home. Keep the meat on a seperate shelf in fridge/freezer. Use different utensils /chopping boards.

We don't know what they were making though 😂 Does the opinion change if they are searing a salmon or frying bacon?
Of course I know vegan processed meals can be unhealthy, but my point is more that meat doesn't need to be part of a healthy diet, so no need to call the OP 'abusive' or 'controlling' for not wanting it on her wooden chopping board at home. Especially if they are eating it anyway in other settings.

Where are you expecting them to prepare their meat if they can't at home? Or is it a case that they have to eat out which will obvs be more expensive?

Early humans ate an awful lot of things like plants, roots, nuts and berries. Meat and to an extent fish and seafood is harder to get hold of as in those days you had to catch and kill it all yourself. It would supplement the diet rather than being a regular large part of it. It's simply not true to say early humans survived mostly on meat.

To a certain extent, yes. I don’t have random rules for the sake of it: there are only rules if there need to be rules. And if there need to be rules, what I say goes. However, if the rule is (say) teenaged DD has to be home by 11 but she asks to stay out until 12 and please can one of us pick her up: fine. The 11pm curfew is because we don’t want her walking the streets or in public transport that late by herself. Irrelevant if we’re picking her up, there’s nothing magic about 11pm.

But if my rule is no shoes in the house; no screen time after 9.30, no smoking, no alcohol, no skirts so short I can see your arse if you bend over, no gel nails, no Snapchat - no, there’s no compromise. My rules go. She’s free to do whatever she wants when she’s the only one bearing the consequences of her actions.

ETA: and to bring it back to the thread in question: if the rules is no shoes in the house, no smoking in the house, no obnoxiously loud music that disturbs the neighbors in the house - that’s the rule, no compromise. Same for meat in the house (except I’m an omnivore so we don’t have this particular rule). My house, my rules, they can do whatever they want in their own houses when they have them. Can’t afford one, too young to live alone? Tough, wait like the rest of the human population. Rights only come with responsibilities and vice versa.

I don't, but if they can only eat meat out of the house then chances are whatever they're choosing isn't particularly high quality. Most affordable restaurants use battery farmed chicken etc.

I am not being selfish and controlling - I just don’t want it in my fucking house.

But that in itself is selfish and controlling. It's their home, they get to cook and eat the food they want in it.

If they were guests, then it would be fair to tell them they couldn't eat meat in your home. But they're not, it's their home too, and they should be allowed to cook and eat the food they want to eat in it.

Keep the meat on a seperate shelf in fridge/freezer. Use different utensils /chopping boards.
This is honestly hilarious 😄Who do you think you are issuing orders?

Yeah especially the 14 year old. Expect they have withdrawals as not getting their "fix" at school!

The only meat eater in my house is the cat. Three times a year, at Easter, Christmas and New Year my parents bring a cooked chicken over, and I provide everything else. They are 82 and 88 so I make this concession to them but I would not do it for anyone else.

'chances are'
So, no real idea then.

This

it’s like that scene from East is East where they’re all eating bacon sandwiches and then the Dad comes back 🤣

Reminds me of that scene in East is East where the are trying to waft out the bacon smell.

Ow snap!! 😂

As a vegetarian of 33 years, I find it hugely disrespectful that someone cannot eat meat in their own home. Should they have their own separate utensils and crockery? Absolutely. Should they clean up after themselves? Definitely. But they should be able to ‘live’ in their own home. The danger of children not being allowed to do this and feeling like visitors, is them making other choices that they can make. Like who they choose to spend time with…

I thought you were making the argument that if meat eaters have to eat vegetarian food in a vegetarian’s house, then veggies should have to eat meat in a meat-eaters house, an argument I very often hear people trying to make, but, which, of course, doesn’t make any sense – as with your ex’s actions. Apologies if that wasn’t what you were actually saying.

Also, and I’ve said this on another thread recently, not even smokers smoke in their own homes most of the time these days so it’s noncomparable.

It’s their house too!

that’s the point

you should provide them with utensils they can use to cook their own food

I'm the MEaT Police

I haven't called the op abusive but I do think she is controlling. Anyone with a hard line of "my house, my rules" over normal stuff like eating meat, wearing make up, having a friend over etc is controlling.

Not sure why the op posted though. She's clearly not about to change her mind.

I have a niece brought up under the rule of “it’s my house”. She did leave home as soon as she could, she is no NC with the home owner, her mother. Her mother, my sister, is distraught.

The same sister had a child, much later in life, she is 12, my sister is still very much of the “it’s my house….not in my house”. My 12 year old niece is planning to go to America for university, to “get as far away as I can”. Her words.

But hopefully, @Meetmeinlove you and your DC won’t reach this level of estrangement and will maintain a loving and supportive relationship and get through this.

Probably and I don't blame them! I don't understand where they are meant to eat it otherwise when they have been children so presumably not able to afford to eat out on a regular basis. Can just imagine them making a crafty ham sandwich!

I think it’s incredibly controlling of you to not allow them to cook and eat the food that choose in their own home. Just because you have a disordered way of viewing meat doesn’t mean they should have to suffer. My own mother tried to inflict her rather bizarre and restrictive food rules on myself and my siblings as children. As a result two of us have disordered eating habits and we all have complicated relationships with her.

Dont do this to your kids. Get them alternative cooking implements and let them eat the food they choose

That’s too definite. There was no single “early human diet”: humans were opportunistic omnivores, and the balance of meat and plants varied hugely with climate, geography and period.

But meat was certainly not just an occasional supplement. The emergence of early humans is associated with increased consumption of animal foods, and archaeological sites show systematic butchery and exploitation of large animals. In some environments, especially colder ones, animal foods would have supplied a very large proportion of calories.

Humans also have unusual adaptations for endurance activity in heat — long legs, efficient sweating and excellent thermoregulation. Pursuing faster prey until it became exhausted and/or overheated is probably the most widely accepted explanation.

So yes, saying early humans “mostly ate meat” is too broad. But saying meat merely supplemented a mainly plant-based diet is just another overgeneralisation. The evidence points to humans evolving as extremely flexible omnivores, with animal foods playing an important role.