To think if you hate kids you shouldn’t have become a parent?

[SlappyHap]

I see so much of “I hate kids, I only like my own” on here, and I just think it’s awful.

You became a parent but you will actively hate your children’s friends, school mates, any other child running round and playing with your child in the park/play area etc.? How on earth do you cope in child/family oriented settings?

If you hate kids (apart from your own) why did you become a parent?

Can never relate and in my experience these types were selfish long before they had children.

i don’t hate kids. What I hate is parents that won’t wipe their children’s mouths, won’t discipline their children when they’re being loud and naughty in public, I hate parents that call their kids little c*nts in public and screaming at their scruffy little boys while their daughters are lovely and clean in princess dresses. I hate chavvy families. I do not hate kids. I hate shit parents who in turn make shit kids. I do not want to be sat next to a mucky, snotty, screaming child while their mother does sweet FA to clean up said child or shut them up. My mum could never. Faces wiped, clean clothes. Manners. If all kids were like that maybe i wouldn’t mind being in the vicinity of them.

Generally though, other peoples children are annoying.

Then throw in the parents who want to bore you to death about their 5 year olds reading record. No one really cares about this accept you, the parent.

My relative is constantly posting about how amazing her child is. How clever her child is blah blah blah. Her child also has zero manners and can’t play nicely. Her child is bloody annoying to be around.

I've never quite understood having a blanket statement of preference about any group of people.

Kids are just people. I like some of them, I don't like others - depends what kind of a person they are. Same as any other group.

Nobody says things like "I LOVE adults, and can't understand anyone who doesn't" 😂

I have met quite a lot of kids I dislike… the rude, badly brought up ones generally. They are probably the ones who grow up to be the type of adult I dislike. So when I had kids, I vowed to myself that I’d do my best to bring them up well, with manners and principles, so that they didn’t become the sort of children (and adults) that others dislike.
I would never say I dislike ‘all’ kids though, that’s a bit weird. And also ageist. There are a lot of people who say they ‘hate kids’ who would be absolutely outraged if other people said ‘I hate old people’ or ‘I hate middle aged people’.

lol some other people's kids are deeply irritating! Even when they are doing the same stuff mine are! It's a biological defense to love your own kids even when they are doing your head in but find others irritating. I'd like to go to a child free resort with my own kids (and maybe a few curated friends). 😂

Kids are people. Some of them are great, some of them not. To a large extent, especially when they’re pre-teens, they are very much the product of their parents. Do I like all (or even most) parents? Absolutely not!. Am I likely, therefore, to be charmed by their offspring? No, though in my interactions with them, I am kind and do my best to find the good in them. That said, I do think we’ve created a very child-unfriendly society, which is creating some very unhappy children (and parents) and which keeps the vast majority of children and adults apart, which denies both groups the chance to get to know each other, learn to behave around and towards each other, and understand - and therefore tolerate - each other.

I think it's a hell of a statement to proclaim you hate a group of people because of something they have no control over. I hate (insert any other group) just wouldn't wash.

I don't discriminate so openly. I just dislike ALL people.

What age you talking about? They don't stay that way for very long.

God, I effing hate these "children are sooooooooo lovely" posts

They’ll be a nuisance in public until other people start commenting and then they get a slap from their parents and no one intervenes. I don’t think Italy is a particularly great place to be a child.

You have GOT to be joking?!

The problem with our kids is that parents make them the axis around which everything else revolves and they're allowed to do exactly what they please no matter who else it pisses off. There hasn't been a "seen and not heard" thing towards kids in the UK for decades.

In Italy, they are expected to behave whilst they're with adults so of course other adults are happy to engage with them..

Crikey, I wouldn’t have described some of my kids friends as “ charming” ! On many occasions, I’ve had to send them home early or have stern words with them. Their personalities were terrible
( some not all I hasten to add). Mine are 18 and 21 now and no more kids playing ( sorry wrecking!)the garden or screaming.

These will be the same people who have no friends and don't answer the door.

I don't know that I hated kids, but I certainly don't like kids (aside from most under-fives, who are little treasures). At particular points in development they're difficult to relate to or gauge what level they're at, they're prone to misbehaving or showing off, and frankly a lot of them aren't very bright.

I like my kids because I know them and are comfortable with them, they have similar interests and character traits as I do, they're intelligent and well-behaved, and I don't feel socially awkward around them.
Some of their friends now (as teenagers) are absolutely brilliant kids, and easy to interact with, but only a handful.

Also, tbf, I don't like men as a demographic, but I do like my DH!

I don't like the vast majority of kids. I don't like anything that is noisy, unpredictable, dirty, in my personal space - it stresses me out, massively so because I'm very very sensitive to noise/all kinds of sensory stimuli. So given most kids are at the minimum usually at least the first two, I'd prefer not to interact with most children.

Quiet and polite kids are fine and can be quite sweet but I can only think of literally 2-3 I've ever met that I've thought 'aw you're quite sweet'.

I am of course polite, caring, warm, supportive, if I ever interact with any children as I want them to feel confident as they are vulnerable and need our protection.

That doesn't make me/people like me selfish, or sad or an awful person. It just means I'm a bit different to the average. I think I'm probably missing some kind of maternal gene because I don't get the 'cute' feeling at all when I look at kids, only when I look at animals. Hence, I have not and will not be having children.

Well they wont make any new friends if they are restricted to those who already know them, will they?
Stop policing your children's activities and let them grow and learn them themselves

I don’t think it really matters. As long as you aren’t unkind, or cruel, or rude towards children, and can do a reasonable job of letting other people’s children chat at you whilst you make interested noises when you have to be in their company, your invisible thoughts on the inside about not finding them particularly enjoyable company are neither here nor there.

There’s a massive spectrum: some people dislike children enough that they don’t have any; some people like children so much that they choose to become nannies and primary school teachers. Most people are somewhere along the line between that, and their feelings usually depend on how children behave and how good their parents are.

This. I have far more of a problem with badly behaved adults in life generally.

Well this thread isn’t aimed at you is it, because you’re not a parent.

If you dislike children and you’re not a parent that’s absolutely reasonable.

It’s the ones that actively dislike children but still choose to become parents is what I find strange and sad.

One can dislike children as a demographic without sighing and being huffy.

I don't like spending time with older children as a rule, but I'm never anything other than engaged, interested, and encouraging when I'm around them, as my dislike of interacting with them doesn't mean I want to hurt their feelings.
I also dislike spending time with most adults, but I'm always polite to them too.

Yes.

My own. Their friends. Their classmates. My neighbours.

I nearly didn't have children because I don't like them. In fact it turns out I just don't like other people's children I adore my own and having them was the best thing I ever did. I waited until I was 37.
While my children were growing up I didn't dislike other children their age, including their friends. Well most of them.
Now mine are adults I avoid children as much as possible.

I don't mind small kids around the age of 7 to 11 that's the best age. Teens are annoying and toddlers are just messy and disgusting.

Are your kids pre school age?