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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to think if we need to politely ask men not to rape women (or men), then we don't want such people in the UK?

1000 replies

bobbyydazzler · 19/08/2026 20:26

Don't rape, sexually assault or make kissing noises' at people, asylum seekers warned in guidance about living in UK
UK arrivals have been told to treat women equally, not sexually assault partners or have sex with children in a new Home Office pamphlet. As well as the guidebook, a series of posters have also been designed by the government.

https://news.sky.com/story/asylum-seekers-warned-not-to-make-kissing-sounds-at-people-in-new-guidance-about-living-in-uk-13574744

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46
5MinuteArgument · 23/08/2026 09:24

LuckyHazelFox · 23/08/2026 09:17

Read the comment of Alistair401. Ring any bells?

Yep, the pro-migration lobby won't go away. Nothing will change some people's minds. Usually these people are living far away from the places where asylum hotels / barracks / HMOs are set up, so their luxury beliefs can remain intact.

BubbleAndLeek · 23/08/2026 09:26

Just remembered the barking park case. Disgusting

LuckyHazelFox · 23/08/2026 09:27

5MinuteArgument · 23/08/2026 09:24

Yep, the pro-migration lobby won't go away. Nothing will change some people's minds. Usually these people are living far away from the places where asylum hotels / barracks / HMOs are set up, so their luxury beliefs can remain intact.

I had one poster tell me she felt violated by previously having conversed with me on a lighthearted thread!. Just because I dared to have an opinion on immigration and similar topics, that's different to hers. I tell you what REAL violation is - having hordes of these men forced on us.

GunnelVallquist · 23/08/2026 11:26

LuckyHazelFox · 23/08/2026 09:17

Read the comment of Alistair401. Ring any bells?

Unbelievable.

As long as there are idiots like that about we are doomed.

Dibdibbob · 23/08/2026 11:33

LoveItaly · 19/08/2026 21:32

Agree. And yet there is total naivety about young men from these countries when they get to the West. As if they will somehow shed their customs and behaviours and adopt Western values overnight. Madness.

Indeed and as I’ve said, add in unlimited access to alcohol and porn, to a mindset where women and girls are less than nothing and just there for the pleasure and convenience of men. Recipe for disaster.

GunnelVallquist · 23/08/2026 12:21

Dibdibbob · 23/08/2026 11:33

Indeed and as I’ve said, add in unlimited access to alcohol and porn, to a mindset where women and girls are less than nothing and just there for the pleasure and convenience of men. Recipe for disaster.

But we’re all right wing and racist for saying so.

I’m so utterly sick of it.

Neverstopwondering · 23/08/2026 12:22

LuckyHazelFox · 23/08/2026 09:27

I had one poster tell me she felt violated by previously having conversed with me on a lighthearted thread!. Just because I dared to have an opinion on immigration and similar topics, that's different to hers. I tell you what REAL violation is - having hordes of these men forced on us.

The language some people use sickens me. It really tells you exactly who they are.

She felt violated

What a thing to say whilst having a conversation on a thread mostly discussing sexual assault of women and girls.

It remains me of the idiot students that locked themselves in a library to protest Israel then claiming their human rights were not met because the list of refreshments they wanted were not given to them. This was whilst hostages were still being help and starved in Gaza. Same stupid victim mentality and lack of being able to read a room or have empathy for others outside your group think.

LuckyHazelFox · 23/08/2026 12:43

Neverstopwondering · 23/08/2026 12:22

The language some people use sickens me. It really tells you exactly who they are.

She felt violated

What a thing to say whilst having a conversation on a thread mostly discussing sexual assault of women and girls.

It remains me of the idiot students that locked themselves in a library to protest Israel then claiming their human rights were not met because the list of refreshments they wanted were not given to them. This was whilst hostages were still being help and starved in Gaza. Same stupid victim mentality and lack of being able to read a room or have empathy for others outside your group think.

Edited

Thanks for saying that because I really was taken aback and yes, disgusted. I put it partly down to immaturity but is that what some women are now doing to each other to protect dangerous men? Yes, the precious students, with the Greta Thunberg mentality, in theory, are harmless. They don't realise they are being used to spin a narrative and they also don't care about Jews. Their omnicause personalities are far removed from the real world.

GiaGia16 · 23/08/2026 12:45

LuckyHazelFox · 23/08/2026 12:43

Thanks for saying that because I really was taken aback and yes, disgusted. I put it partly down to immaturity but is that what some women are now doing to each other to protect dangerous men? Yes, the precious students, with the Greta Thunberg mentality, in theory, are harmless. They don't realise they are being used to spin a narrative and they also don't care about Jews. Their omnicause personalities are far removed from the real world.

I remember seeing that comment, my jaw pretty much dropped to the floor.

LuckyHazelFox · 23/08/2026 12:46

GiaGia16 · 23/08/2026 12:45

I remember seeing that comment, my jaw pretty much dropped to the floor.

Oh did you? Thank you ❤️

bobbyydazzler · 23/08/2026 12:48

GunnelVallquist · 23/08/2026 11:26

Unbelievable.

As long as there are idiots like that about we are doomed.

I'm starting to think these men are writing on websites such as reddit (perhaps not mumsnet just yet, but who knows). Because otherwise I cannot fathom just how thick these people are. It goes beyond 'being kind' now - the truth, the evidence is there for everyone to see.

There's obviously the misogynistic / patriarchal side to it too - but that can't explain it all.

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LuckyHazelFox · 23/08/2026 12:49

GunnelVallquist · 23/08/2026 12:21

But we’re all right wing and racist for saying so.

I’m so utterly sick of it.

There's been a big shift on MN. Posters are now unafraid to say what they once would have done, because of the pile ons.

bobbyydazzler · 23/08/2026 12:54

LuckyHazelFox · 23/08/2026 12:43

Thanks for saying that because I really was taken aback and yes, disgusted. I put it partly down to immaturity but is that what some women are now doing to each other to protect dangerous men? Yes, the precious students, with the Greta Thunberg mentality, in theory, are harmless. They don't realise they are being used to spin a narrative and they also don't care about Jews. Their omnicause personalities are far removed from the real world.

Funny you mention Greta T. I was thinking of her speech (to the UN? I can't remember where it was) - when she talked about YOUR HOUSE IS ON FIRE! HOW COULD YOU?! or something along those lines. Where is she now? Where is the outrage about women's and children's (and now old men's) rights to a safe life, being violated - being destroyed by governments letting these men rampage freely into our Western society. Silence. Well not just silence but animosity and accusations of racism blah blah blah. Beyond Belief.

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bobbyydazzler · 23/08/2026 12:55

LuckyHazelFox · 23/08/2026 12:49

There's been a big shift on MN. Posters are now unafraid to say what they once would have done, because of the pile ons.

Just as it happened with the men in frocks

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SomethingHasGotToBeDoneAboutYourKids · 23/08/2026 12:56

nomas · 22/08/2026 20:52

No one has argued for increased migration, that’s just a straw man you and others keep building.

But rape by British men isn’t somehow more palatable than rape by immigrants.

You benefit daily from the silence of black and Asian people on MN.

Where were you on MN when Jordan McSweeney brutally raped and murdered Zara Aleena?

Or when John Ashby raped a Sikh woman in Birmingham whilst telling her he was her white British master?

These comments are just silly.

We all know that British men also commit rape.

We also know that having more single men around, many of whom are very bored or traumatised, will add to the number of attacks simply because there are more men here. And it’s well documented the world over anyway that, culture aside, large numbers of young men away from their families do generally increase crime rates across the board, so why would we want to do that? The safety of our own citizens is the most fundamental duty of Government and the purpose of a nation state.

And then on top of this we know, from the MOJ data posted earlier, that the prosecution and conviction rates per capita vary significantly by ethnicity, so there is clearly a cultural element to these crimes.

As I pointed out earlier, we don’t have the full picture of just how wide the gap is based on culture because we’d need to cross-section that ethnicity data with the data by nationality, which the MOJ is refusing a legal order to release. One has to question what motivation they have for that, given the grounds for their appeal against the ICO’s decision seem spurious (to put it politely).

It’s just silly to say “but British men do it too!” when it’s clear even from the data we do already have that there are significant variances by ethnicity (when obviously men born in Britain - who will make up the majority of these statistics obviously just because there are more of them here! - have various ethnicities, hence it being clear from this data that there’s a cultural element to offending rates even amongst those who are British nationals).

It’s absurd to demand that we ignore the evident fact that some men pose a significantly higher risk to women and children than others and that culture has a significant impact on this. It would be ludicrous to pretend that it doesn’t when the data is clear, and that obviously for those who have moved here from a country where they were raised exclusively in a misogynistic culture where women are treated as sub-humans and inferior the variance in offending rates caused by these cultural differences is going to be far wider than it is between those who were born in Britain, raised within our society with our legal and societal norms but amongst whom we already can see a large mathematical variance in risk which can only be explained by cultural differences, i.e. that some, despite being raised here, live in culturally isolated self-segregating communities within the UK and have misogynistic values taught to them and reinforced by friends and family.

The patterns even based on the limited ethnicity data (i.e. most of the data relating to British citizens/ long-term residents) are statistically significant so there’s little point continually trying to pretend this isn’t the case to shut down the discussion, and no rational argument I’ve seen to think the variance in offending rates due to cultural differences would be lower when it comes to people moving here from completely alien cultures who view women as property or objects. It’s disingenuous of you to try to shut down discussion with whataboutery when you’ve put forward no argument for why you think these men would pose a lower risk than those raised here in our society with our laws. And if you do genuinely believe this, then presumably you’ll be campaigning for the MOJ to release the data of crime rates by nationality of perpetrator, to prove you are correct?

Women and children deserve to be protected so we need to be able to discuss facts no matter how unpalatable you might find them otherwise more unnecessary and avoidable tragedies will be inevitable.

bobbyydazzler · 23/08/2026 12:57

LuckyHazelFox · 23/08/2026 09:27

I had one poster tell me she felt violated by previously having conversed with me on a lighthearted thread!. Just because I dared to have an opinion on immigration and similar topics, that's different to hers. I tell you what REAL violation is - having hordes of these men forced on us.

Jesus Christ. Who exactly are we dealing with here.

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LuckyHazelFox · 23/08/2026 13:00

bobbyydazzler · 23/08/2026 12:54

Funny you mention Greta T. I was thinking of her speech (to the UN? I can't remember where it was) - when she talked about YOUR HOUSE IS ON FIRE! HOW COULD YOU?! or something along those lines. Where is she now? Where is the outrage about women's and children's (and now old men's) rights to a safe life, being violated - being destroyed by governments letting these men rampage freely into our Western society. Silence. Well not just silence but animosity and accusations of racism blah blah blah. Beyond Belief.

Edited

Personally, I can't stand her. I'm not a feminist but I will always stand side by side with women over any threat of sexual assault. Not this one and her fans. They hate the west and always centre their virtuous bragging around anyone but women. She refused to watch footage of 7th October because she didn't want to compromise her 'values'.

Firetreev · 23/08/2026 13:04

bobbyydazzler · 19/08/2026 20:49

Don't rape children? You think your ever day British bloke needs to be guided not to rape children?

Er yes. 750, 000 British men are deemed a risk to children in the UK by security services. The issue is men - not just brown men or black men. Men full stop.

bobbyydazzler · 23/08/2026 13:10

LuckyHazelFox · 23/08/2026 13:00

Personally, I can't stand her. I'm not a feminist but I will always stand side by side with women over any threat of sexual assault. Not this one and her fans. They hate the west and always centre their virtuous bragging around anyone but women. She refused to watch footage of 7th October because she didn't want to compromise her 'values'.

If you believe women should have equal social, economic and political rights to men - you're a feminist..

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bobbyydazzler · 23/08/2026 13:12

Firetreev · 23/08/2026 13:04

Er yes. 750, 000 British men are deemed a risk to children in the UK by security services. The issue is men - not just brown men or black men. Men full stop.

That is a terrifying statistic I agree. So why are we importing thousands more men who are a risk to women and children? Are you ok with increasing the risk?

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LuckyHazelFox · 23/08/2026 13:13

bobbyydazzler · 23/08/2026 13:10

If you believe women should have equal social, economic and political rights to men - you're a feminist..

Strictly speaking but I'm not a fan of labels. I like wiggle room for my philosophy.

bobbyydazzler · 23/08/2026 13:17

LuckyHazelFox · 23/08/2026 13:13

Strictly speaking but I'm not a fan of labels. I like wiggle room for my philosophy.

Totally agree. I don't label myself that or announce it. Much as I don't announce that I'm an atheist. It's just part of who I am.

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Firetreev · 23/08/2026 13:18

bobbyydazzler · 23/08/2026 13:12

That is a terrifying statistic I agree. So why are we importing thousands more men who are a risk to women and children? Are you ok with increasing the risk?

We need to get a grip in immigration! I don't dispute that for one minute, but we seriously need to address the racism which has been allowed to go unchecked in this country. White men have just as strong violent and misogynistic tendencies, they just hide it better. The issue is men full stop, they all need called out on it.

bobbyydazzler · 23/08/2026 13:21

Firetreev · 23/08/2026 13:18

We need to get a grip in immigration! I don't dispute that for one minute, but we seriously need to address the racism which has been allowed to go unchecked in this country. White men have just as strong violent and misogynistic tendencies, they just hide it better. The issue is men full stop, they all need called out on it.

Whilst its always men - there's no doubt men from certain countries, are worse - much worse. Not because of their colour (SIGH eye roll), but because of the culture and morality they've grown up in. So we do not need them in this country. And it is not racist to say so.

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kateluvscats · 23/08/2026 13:24

Ksown · 19/08/2026 21:41

In Islam, forced violent or abusive sexual relations in marriage are forbidden. Islamic principles specifically prohibit a husband from using force, coercion or violence against his wife. "La dharar wa la dhirar" (there shall be no inflicting of harm or returning of harm ") applies to sexual relations in marriage.

The grooming gangs didn't take much notice did they? Oh that's because they were 'white trash' aka vulnerable poor white girls. So they are free to do this to anyone they're not married to?

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