I’m childfree and think your post is incredibly short sighted, insensitive and unrealistic and if I’d posted similar then I’d have been flamed out of existence.
I think most parents are heroes for surviving the summer holidays and I have so much respect for them getting through the long weeks that must be for the majority of women incredibly hard work.
Everyone is entitled to a moan or a vent and that doesn’t mean they regret their choices or find it all completely miserable - it just means they are human and can’t find every minute joyful and meaningful and be required to paste a smile on their face and never complain like a robot.
I realised that it isn’t realistic to expect anyone to be able to anticipate how life can be when you have children and I don’t think it’s possible for anyone to really know how hard it can be - despite planning for them and preparing and trying to envisage it.
Even if you’ve spent your life working with them, grew up with younger siblings or helped take care of friends kids or nieces and nephews it’s different when it’s your own and all children are different.
I read somewhere once that it’s harder for women who need intellectual stimulation to spend all their time with children because they don’t have a lot of interesting conversation and it gets boring.
I think that obviously doesn’t apply to you and your ill informed opinion about children with extra needs proves that!
Almost all women love and adore their kids deeply but I find it baffling to think you would find any situation in life easy all the time and be able to find every minute joyful when their are always additional stresses and challenges and life doesn’t always run smoothly.
Kids are demanding, repetitive, annoying and only think of themselves.
You are expected to devote your life to keeping them happy and they usually want more and don’t appreciate how hard it is to juggle everything and constantly keep them entertained and it’s expensive and not everyone has the funds for holidays abroad, constant days out or toys and activities to keep them busy at home.
Many women are expected to carry the load of parenting alone and still work during the holidays and to be the one to organise childcare. It must be impossible not to be frustrated and resentful to be in that situation.
The days must seem long when kids are up early and go to bed late with no school in the morning and they find it boring without the routine and structure of school.
If you have multiple children even if they “play beautifully” they aren’t going to get on all day every day and will have different needs that need meeting and if they are very young then it must be exhausting to split yourself between them.
I find your patronising concerns and sympathy towards women with children with special needs really insensitive and disrespectful - especially when you are implying it’s only women with children without any extra needs that must be expected to find it possible to enjoy every minute.
There are different challenges in both situations and when you love your children theenjoyable times mixed with difficult days because that’s the reality of life and sometimes you just want time for yourself and to put yourself first but that’s not always possible when all kids require your attention, time and you to put them first.
In the past raising children wasn’t as isolating when you had a village and community around you to help. Modern day parenting is harder when you are expected to carry the weight alone without complaint and see to the whole families needs without any respite or break.
It must be very lonely when no one is thinking of your needs and you are the only one making sacrifices and your judgement means some women struggling will find it harder to ask for support if they feel they aren’t normal for finding things difficult and should be feeling only gratitude and joy.
If think one day you’ll look back on this post OP and see how naive you were and hopefully how smug and unsupportive you seem and how your expectations of how other women are when parenting becomes more challenging for you.
You are guilty of what a lot of people do when they can’t envisage their own life isn’t the same as everyone else’s and they criticise people who find things harder or have different expectations or enjoy different things.
If I can see all that from an outside point of view and have empathy and understanding then I’m disappointed that someone who chose to have children can’t show compassion for other women and parents and hope that you accept the same judgement without complaint if you are ever struggling with a phase of motherhood that others found easier.