Baby's first birthday to ask for no boxed gifts?

[sarak20]

Is this reasonable or no. For some context: I have bought all the toys I would like my baby to play with and don't want others gifting toys that I have no space to store. Is it appropriate to ask for no boxed gifts? Thanks

I agree with previous posters, you can never have enough books!
Ask for book tokens or a voucher or say that you'd really love to be able to start collecting Duplo and ask for them to buy that.
There are ways to word things. You could say "If you wish to buy baby a gift, baby already has enough clothes, we'd love to be able to start collecting xyz for him/her. We'd be grateful for xyz token so we can put it towards xyz"

Ok thanks, definitely won't be getting anything personalised

had planned to get her a lot of personalised keepsakes.

Well thats why, she doesnt want tat
A lot of personalised keepsakes will not be quality items

I would buy her a gift that I could afford. Or put an amount of money in a card I could afford. No one can dictate how much money you give or spend

@HeronwatcherNo, my sister in law actually gifted each of my children a personalised gift on their first birthdays and I really appreciated the gifts. I still have them in their memory boxes. I love giving family personalised gifts as keepsakes. I am not trying to create issues, I just don't have the means to dish out £50+ which she has specifically asked each family member for. I am barely surviving myself to be able to hand out cash that easily.

How much would you have spent on the keepsakes? £20? Give that in a card with a lovely note.

Feel it’s a hit CF of her to expect £50+ off people!

a voucher is a great idea - at Tesco you can get ones that are specifically for young children where it is fair things like swimming lessons or baby groups 😊or come a local baby toddler group and see if they do vouchers!

x

I’d buy a book or an experience of some kind e.g a couple of swimming lessons.

No its absolutely not ok to specify money only. And your child will need lots of new toys over the next year - whats suitable at o months is outgrown by 18. Better to adk for them to buy something later in the year. Or nothing at all.

Give cash (or voucher) but only what you can afford.
If that's £5 instead of £50 so be it.

I would have hated a baby group voucher, that forces the parent to feel the need to attend one, she might be working full time. Some would think it’s too early for swimming lessons and want to start that in their own time at their place of choice.

Absolutely give a book. Written with baby’s name on the flyleaf.

I recommend https://www.waterstones.com/books/search/term/when+we+were+very+young.

If the parents see no value in this, there is no hope for their taste.

No boxed gifts would say to me, literally, unbox before wrapping which is something I did for presents when mine were toddlers so they could play straight away.

TBH if someone was looking for a financial drop rather then a present for a one year old I wouldn’t gift at all.

Why the subterfuge, @sarak20 ? When people suddenly reverse like this, I don't actually know whether to believe them. Is the truth really that it is your sister in law who wants everyone to give £50 or is it actually you who had the idea and has now realised that that's not ok and doesn't want everybody to think you're awful? I just don't know. If it really is your sister in law, it's a truly bizarre way to make a post.

“She is expecting everyone to give £50 and above.”

How do you know this? No one actually says “I expect you to give at least £x!”

Just because she expects it doesn’t mean you have to give it! No way would I be giving £50+ birthday gifts to my nieces and nephews.

How do you know that she is expecting £50 minimum? Has she said that?
If they are super generous to your children it might be ok to gift that amount if you can afford it - remember that they have to pay for 4 children birthdays and Christmases.
However if you cannot afford it, or if she is being rudely.demanding, then just give a voucher or cash for what you want to give. There shouldn't be rules around these things and you dont want to set a precedent.
I wouldn't buy clothes because they'll be promptly returned to the shop.

Ask for money instead and start a saving account. Most people would think this a sensible idea.

Books or clothes aren't toys so you can buy that. If she's not happy then so be it.

I think SIL is a cheeky cow for asking for £50
but I do think we have a funny attitude to gifting money in this country. We would rather gift crap.

Money is a great, valid gift. Or vouchers. At least until the child can specify what they like.

Just get a personalised something and say you’ve already bought it

I wouldn’t know what it meant. I’d presume you want something pre-used.
if you’re actually asking for money then no I’d never consider that it’s ok. Part of gift giving is for the giver’s pleasure too. Especially for a small baby.

as others have said, if you do have to stipulate then ask for a book. But it’s not gracious to ask for anything.

(also if you have enough for your child consider providing for other families who are not as fortunate. This is very important and rewarding).

She is expecting everyone to give £50 and above.

How crass! How vulgar! Honestly I despair at how people behave these days.

@Youhadrambledonfor18pagesWe have a family WhatsApp group and she mentioned in there that she wants family to only give money. My brother keeps indirectly saying how they are expecting family to give 50 or above

Don't go!

It won’t be cheaper but you could buy your nice a couple of premium bonds so her mother can’t spend the cash!