Page 5 | DH hates young children in our house

FleurDeFleur · Today 09:28

Conniebygaslight · Today 09:24

What happens if you have grandchildren OP? I’ll bet your DC won’t think he’s a good dad then.

I strongly suspect they already think that now.

Conniebygaslight · Today 09:29

FleurDeFleur · Today 09:28

I strongly suspect they already think that now.

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Yes of course they do. But they won’t be able to pretend then….

Sam9769 · Today 09:30

He sounds ridiculous!

Speakeasier · Today 09:32

malefields · Today 09:22

No, of course not, I just mentioned that I don’t invite any kids myself. I was commenting mostly because I’m curious about the adult children.

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And I think that’s perfectly reasonable. It’s the telling your partner what they’re allowed to do that I find mind blowing!

FleurDeFleur · Today 09:38

Conniebygaslight · Today 09:29

Yes of course they do. But they won’t be able to pretend then….

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True! It really is a horrible situation. I'd never forgive my DH if he'd abandoned me with tiny children.

awaynboilyurheid · Today 09:41

mugsandcups34 · Today 01:03

As long as it doesnt involve chidren yes. He really badly struggled when our 2nd child was born and with only 18 months difference he avouied the home for several years because of noise mess and chaos. A great husband and now our kids are young adults a great dad but he was mostly absent when they were little.

Cannot believe this! be left you to it because he didn’t like his own children in their own home
……and your worried still about visitors to you home ….
No words

IJustMight · Today 09:41

Great husbands don't avoid coming home when their children are young and leave all the child rearing and heavy lifting and homefront to their partner to deal with because they don't want to learn to/adapt/do their fair share with the children they helped bring into the world.

Great fathers don't avoid their children until they're grown up.

You stayed for whatever reason, but please don't think he's a great man. He's not.

EmeraldShamrock000 · Today 09:43

mugsandcups34 · Today 01:03

As long as it doesnt involve chidren yes. He really badly struggled when our 2nd child was born and with only 18 months difference he avouied the home for several years because of noise mess and chaos. A great husband and now our kids are young adults a great dad but he was mostly absent when they were little.

You stayed with him, wow.

Notasbigasithink · Today 09:43

mugsandcups34 · Today 00:21

My DH hates children - his own siblings have children but he never invites them to our house - my sisters have young children as do alot of my friends i try to only ever invite them to our house when he isn't here but next week he was supposed to be away but he isnt now and i have invited friends and family over. He isnt happy as he says i should see them away from the home but it is my house too and i should be able invite who i want over surely?

I take it you don't want children of your own then, ever??

JayJayj · Today 09:43

mugsandcups34 · Today 01:03

As long as it doesnt involve chidren yes. He really badly struggled when our 2nd child was born and with only 18 months difference he avouied the home for several years because of noise mess and chaos. A great husband and now our kids are young adults a great dad but he was mostly absent when they were little.

He is neither a great husband or a great dad.

He can’t be a great dad when he was absent for their childhood

He can’t be a great husband, leaving it all to you and now telling you what you can and can’t do in your own home.

Why have you stayed with this man?

watchingthishtread · Today 09:48

mugsandcups34 · Today 00:49

It is the fact that they may break or touch something. He is very very house proud. He isnt very social and will just about tolerate other adults in our house but not children.

I'm not sure he can be described as houseproud if he'd prefer that no one else actually see the house. There's something else behind it.

I think that you've become so used to him that his behaviour has become normalised and you don't realise how odd he is.

FleurDeFleur · Today 09:51

Notasbigasithink · Today 09:43

I take it you don't want children of your own then, ever??

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They have children. When they were babies the DH left.

Cherrysoup · Today 09:54

mugsandcups34 · Today 01:03

As long as it doesnt involve chidren yes. He really badly struggled when our 2nd child was born and with only 18 months difference he avouied the home for several years because of noise mess and chaos. A great husband and now our kids are young adults a great dad but he was mostly absent when they were little.

No idea how you are still with him. He sounds like an awful parent. He doesn’t get to choose if you have people over, including kids. If he can’t cope, he can go out for the day.

YourWildAmberSloth · Today 10:05

mugsandcups34 · Today 01:03

As long as it doesnt involve chidren yes. He really badly struggled when our 2nd child was born and with only 18 months difference he avouied the home for several years because of noise mess and chaos. A great husband and now our kids are young adults a great dad but he was mostly absent when they were little.

Sorry this doesn't make a great dad and husband. What's the plan for grandchildren? I think YABU to have tolerated this for so long, but complain about it now.

gotmyselfintoapickle · Today 10:19

This really isn’t about whether it’s reasonable to ban children from your house or not. You want to invite people with kids round and he doesn’t want you to. You have tried to be accommodating but choosing times you think he won’t be there but it’s not always possible. He needs to compromise too. Tell him to go out, or sit in his bedroom. It’s your house too.