To be furious and tell aunt that DH nearly lost her son

[gollyimholly]

Had a family outing today to a stately home. Lots of aunts, uncles and cousins. DH took DD (3 years old) and cousin (10 years old) to the children's playing area. There was a big maze which cousin asked if he could do alone because he watches a TV show called Maze runner (I have never heard of it/don't know what it's about). DH said yes. Cousin doesn't even have a mobile phone. DH said cousin then got lost so he and DD had to go find him.

AIBU to find that he allowed him off on his own in a maze so scary? I feel like I should also tell my aunt.. I feel like it's the sort of thing I would want to know if it was my child. And then it would give me the opportunity to explain to my child why they shouldn't do things like that even if the dumb adult that is supervising them is allowing them to do so. AIBU?

Husband is silly to let a child go alone in a maze!! I would be furious tbh.

A 10yo should be more than capable of doing a maze unattended.

He was 10 he was in a maze what was going to happen to him? Getting lost in the maze is part of the fun.

A maze is contained though… it’s not like he was lost in town! He wasn’t going to be gone for long.
I’d let it go.

It is more that I am worried about things like predatorial people or how he didn't have a phone on him.

Child of 10 shouldn't be watching the Maze Runner nor be left alone in a maze. Your husband was highly irresponsible.

But what if cousin found his way out and that is the same time DH went in to look for him... It is contained in itself but DH had no sight of him.

we managed fine for many millennia without phones!

Are you always so anxious?

I would feel like this about a 5 year old… but not a 10 year old!

You're completely overreacting. He's 10 and he wasn't lost, he was in a safe contained maze. Many 10 year olds walk to and from school or the shops independently. The aunt would probably think you were bonkers to be honest.

I don't think predators generally hang around mazes full of families waiting for a lone child to cross their path. The 10year old is unfortunately far more at risk from family members and other known adults than potential weirdos in mazes.

Far too overprotective! It was a busy area with one way in and out. At a well know tourist attraction. For kids. It wouldn't even occur to me not to let a 10 year old into it.

Almost lost her son - massive overreaction. Nothing of the sirt happened.

Surely that's part of the fun of going into a maze! He would of worked it out eventually. Ten years old is the perfect age for this sort of activity .

Since having my own children, probably more anxious, yes. I know I would allow DD out of my sight like that at 10.

@gollyimholly do you not like your dh?
Tell your dc to keep his left hand on the hedge all the way round the maze then he won’t get lost.

You’re not doing your DD any favours by coddling her.

I'm actually fine to be told I'm overreacting. I didn't think I was but maybe my perspective is off. It isn't stopping me from feeling anxious though.

I did walk to school when I was 10 and one unfortunate morning, I was groped by a stranger. It has probably coloured a lot of how I was raised since then and how I feel about being relaxed with children.

I do! He is generally a lovely man. But I think he can be very very naive sometimes.

It's easy when you child is only 3 to think I would never do x,y and z but honestly when your DD iis 10 and probably before then you will let her out of your sight.

You would allow your DD out of your sight?

It must be exhausting living your life fearing predators everywhere.

Exactly. Mazes usually only have one entrance/exit. And I see loads of kids walking to school.

I've worked with sex offenders for the best part of two decades, I've seen things, read things and heard things most people will never encounter (be glad of that), I have never come across a sexual predator who hangs around in mazes on the off chance there is a lone child. All your DH needed to do was wait by the exit

Ten is right on the cusp of this being perfectly ok.

It's young enough that you're ok to disagree with your DH. But it's old enough that DH didn't do anything wrong and being 'furious' and calling him 'dumb' is very unreasonable.

It's completely normal for children to get to secondary school by themselves including walks involving busy roads, buses and tubes/trains. Secondary school is age eleven. Have a really good think about whether your DD is going to be able to function like the other children when she gets to that age if you're planning to 'not let her out of your sight' at age ten.