To expect everyone at my wedding to stick to the colour scheme?

[Autumnalbride]

I'm having an autumn themed wedding. I've asked everyone, all the wedding party, family and all the guests to wear autumn colours - brown, orange, yellow, red etc.
Some of the men want to wear grey suits but I am upset by this because I don't see grey as an autumn colour. They say they will wear autumn coloured ties and accessories but I said I want the suits to be in Autumn colours
Is this unreasonable?

Sorry, but you expect the men to spend money on 'autumnal coloured suits' (!?) they won't wear again to fit in with your colour scheme. Fair enough for flowers, decorations etc, but clothes? The sky can be grey in autumn, so their suits will fit your criteria, that is if you are for real! Just as well not a winter wedding, would they have to come as snowmen? Hopefully a few years down the line all this will fall ( no pun intended) into perspective and you will realise that you are being very unreasonable.

Apologies OP, I missed your post saying this was a reverse x

I would’ve just ignored her going on about the colours and turned up with my DS and DH in autumnal accessories.
Yes she sounds. overly annoying but just before her wedding is not the time for you to be right.
Also I bet if she wrote the post she could elaborate on what you did to her step DC and what you did to her MOH. It’s unbelievable for her to have said yoire bullying her MOH just because you mentioned she was 2.5hours in bringing the food. You could not have been the only one who complained.

Thing is OP, if the family have missed the fact she has a colour scheme for the guests, others will have as well. Most people just skim through wedding websites, all they want to know is time and place.

Sorry, just saw is your sister, comments still stand.

😂😂😂

I think your sis will be spending a lot of time photoshopping the wedding pictures. I don't think there's a cat in hell's chance that all the guests will have understood her batshit request about the colour scheme. If they do know she's serious, I think they'll either ignore her or just not go. The poor guy she's marrying is going to have the piss taken out of him when he tries to explain to his friends that they have to wear a brown or burgundy suit.

I'm NC with my older sister OP, and it's bliss. She's also managed to alienate the rest of the family with her antics.

No it doesn't, that's what's wrong with it. It doesn't give that person's POV, it gives what the person they're arguing with imagines that POV to be, but lies about it. That's why they are usually so easy to spot, because they are so ridiculously one dimensional and context-less. Would you trust her to pretend to be you and give your perspective for us?

To be fair, your sister does sound insane, but the whole situation is clearly a pressure cooker. She's absolutely wrong to be so ridiculous about what people wear, and other stuff too, but it seems there is other stuff going on as well (you gloss over whatever happened to spoil a moment between your BIL and his kid, or how you missed her request that your son be ring bearer). If we heard her actual POV, we'd probably think she was a dick but we might at least see how she got there... and I find reverses so dishonest, they make me distrust the OP anyway even after they've been rumbled/confessed.

If this post is a wind up, you’re an idiot, OP.
if it’s not a wind up, you’re an even bigger idiot.

Everyone should go dressed as pumpkins.

Probably not an issue for the women but for the men? How many men would want to wear an orange, yellow, red, brown suit?

@ThatCyanCat - the opening post gave the bare facts, not opinion. The sis is insisting that the colour theme extends to suits. Do you need the OP to screenshot the WhatsApp messages to prove how batshit her sis is?

When will people realise that no one gives as much of a shit about their weddings as they do?

Yeah - and I thought the brown suits were a big ask... 😳🌼

I was the only other person there, alongside my kids. So noone else there to complain.

She invited family to a BBQ, noone could make it, so I felt bad for her and said I'd go. She said about 2pm. Turned up at 2:20 (after telling her I'd be late) with a load of chicken legs for the BBQ. Didn't feed my kids lunch because I thought we were having a 2pm BBQ.

Got there and the BBQ is still under tarpoling never mind lit.

No welcome from sister, she was in an absolutely shitty mood and barely came out of the house, no food, no music or anything to do, just sat there awkwardly getting more and more hungry, waiting for MOH who was bringing the burgers. Sister snapped horribly at me and my DD8. I tried to make conversation by asking her about her hen do, and said did she know anything about it so I knew what I could talk about and she snapped "WHY? ARE YOU PLANNING ON RUINING IT FOR ME?" which was bizarre...
Asked nicely when they were going to light the BBQ and was told when MOH got there. We were given some fruit at this point so kept hunger away a bit.
Future BIL starts the BBQ at 4pm and I said something about MOH being late (can't remember exactly what) which he replied "yeah, it does take the piss"
She finally rolls in at 4:30 with no apology.
But I was perfectly nice to her, I held her baby, and chatted to her, I took nice pics.
Just because this lateness thing annoyed me doesn't mean I hate her?? Pretty much every person I know at some point or another does something annoying, as I will also do too.
But apparently this means I was trying to highlight the fact she is unreliable and that I should have been made MOH and not her??
I just just bloody hungry and dealing with two bored and hungry kids! Youngest of whom was looking forward to playing with MOH's kids but then found there was nothing to do and noone to play with.

I sincerely hope sis stretched before that reach 🤦

With no context, no back story and no thought process! That's how you know it's a reverse, there's never any plausible thought process. (And there may be missing facts too, like the fact that it's not the sister speaking! After OP went more honest, she gave a wall of back story that she didn't include while lying about who she was!)

People don't do things for no reason. They do things for stupid reasons, but they are reasons. People who pretend to be the person they're furious with and speak for them very rarely have the actual clarity on the situation to understand why they're doing what they're doing even if it's ridiculous; they do what OP did and essentially act like there's no context or thought process or reason at all. If they're reasonable, they give their perspective, are honest about it being their perspective and try to explain what they understand the other person to be thinking.

If you were in a nasty fight with someone, would you trust them to speak as you to give your perspective? What if all they gave was the most ridiculous thing you'd done with no context and justified it because it was "fact"?

Is this a serious post? If so, yabu. Your crazy request may end up costing guests £££ of money they can't afford. Stop being a bridezilla!

Read everything op has written ffs

I simply didn't remember any conversation about a ring bearer. I was in the wrong for that and said so to my sister and apologised.

They hadn't told step-niece about the wedding. I was excited about it and wanted to talk about it to sis and accidently let it slip in front of her. Again, apologised for this, twice.

Sis is insisting I did it on purpose (she said this after the argument started, it wasn't a cause)

I have no idea why she thinks I would do that, what could my motive possibly be?

Unless a man is very good looking and very trendy, he won’t appreciate wearing a brown suit.
Deep aubergine, another trendy option.
But my husband would most likely refuse to go…..

What a pantomime!

I don't know your motives, OP, would you be happy getting your sister to pretend to be you and tell us?

I'd be declining an invitation that dictated what colour clothes I can wear.
It sounds like your sister is going to go completely bonkers well before the big day.

You need to decide if it's a wedding or a fancy dress party. My husband simply wouldn't go if you expected him to buy a suit he's never going to wear again.

To be fair I do think some brown suits can be gorgeous

But then again grey is never my first choice for anything